It was actually my first choice after I left my job as a Pastry Cook, to work in IKEA, because that's how much of an underachiever I am. Why work in a Interior Design firm where you can learn so much more things when you can just work in IKEA, look at their furniture all day long and predict which ones will last less than a year when someone actually sits on it and break both the furniture and possibly their tailbone if the furniture doesn't rupture their anus first.
So I send in my resume and a pathetic excuse for a cover letter, waiting to get a response because their website stated...
So when they stated that they will keep me posted, I was under the assumption that someone from the HR department will look through my resume and get back to me... but instead I got an automated email....
During my initial read through, I actually thought it was send by an actual person because I thought they had misspelled "Hi"... so I checked my keyboard and realized that the letters were too far apart away from each other for it to be a misspell and I doubt they would hire someone who suffers from Alien Hand Syndrome to write emails for them.. Turns out "Hej" was Swedish for Hello
But despite the fact that it was an automated email, I was still quite optimistic about the entire thing because they did state at the end that they will get back to me within 30 days.
AND ~ It's almost been 40 days and I still haven't got back any response. Seriously IKEA, what the hell is wrong with you, if you have no intention of getting back to the people who aren't selected for the position, don't tell them to "Kick back and relax" and "expect to hear from us within 30 days".
For the first 20 days or so, I was actually expecting to get a response from IKEA, apart from the automated email. Kinda had a feeling that I was probably not going to be selected when I realized I probably screwed up their "Personality Test", I am really slow like that, so it takes a while for my brain to actually register the fact that I will probably not be getting the job after not getting any response from the company in the second half of the week.
The personality test probably helped painted a picture of me as a loner who occasionally slits his wrist to feel alive every once in a while to IKEA. I don't like this Personality Test bullshit, meet me in person and you will realize I am not a loner who slits his wrist, I am actually someone who stutters and flop sweat when he is being interviewed. So that's my whole IKEA experience, there goes my dream of having Swedish Meatballs that are allegedly made from horse meat for lunch everyday.
Speaking of flop sweat, I flopped sweat when I went for my job interview yesterday... but one good thing about the interview was that I didn't actually stutter as much as I thought I would have. I always stutter and flop sweat when I get interviewed, the back of my shirt will get a tone darker and I can't speak without sounding like I have been crying for the past hour in the toilet.... I didn't cry, didn't have time for that, I was in the air conditioned bus marking my territory by leaving my back sweat on the bus seats.
The interview went well, need to go back for a trial run, like a second interview sort of thing, except he won't be asking me what "my strength and weaknesses are" but actually put my skills to the test by making me do space planning and 3D renderings, the former I am relatively confident in but the latter is probably gonna be so fucked. Hope everything goes well and by go well I mean not having the software crash on me while I am rendering. Has happened many times on my Acer before and I did not appreciate it.
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