Seventh Cycle - 7th Day (?)

Today's reporting time for me was in the late afternoon, so I decided that taking a taxi wouldn't be necessary. I have already spend so much taking Grab rides, being able to have the time to actually just use the bus and train is something I would very much prefer doing.

My plan was originally to go to Simei, have a heavy breakfast and then take a Grab from there because getting a Grab is inevitable, but then I kinda contemplated for a little and decided instead of actually eating at Simei, I will instead buy a sandwich from 7-11 and bring it to camp a little earlier to eat, that way, I don't have to worry about taking too much time to actually eat and potentially reaching camp late.

As I was boarding the bus to head out, Steven then texted in the group chat asking if anyone needed a ride, I immediately took up the offer and I was so thankful because the Grab ride  where I was planning to take from would have cost me $13. 

I headed to where Steven was, which was still somewhere in the east so there was still quite a bit of travelling involved for me, and managed to get a ride to the camp from him. Got my sandwich from Cheers before that and reach the camp 30 minutes before duty was due to start, I wolfed down the sandwich, not very nice but as long as I was full, drew my rifle and then started my duty.

Time felt like it pass by relatively quickly, I texted my friend who got separated from me and is now at the main camp how his duty is like, and it sucked so much for him, it was the realization of how shitty his duty was that made me realize once again that this was a blessing in disguise because I was having it much easier than him. Whoever the commander was that did the planning for their schedule was one lazy motherfucker, doesn't bother to make sure the duty is fairly distributed, I assume what the commander did was just fill the names into the empty slots and then ask the ICT personnel to settle it amongst themselves, my friend got the short end of the stick essentially.

Anyways, my duty went relatively well, had some nice conversations with the active soldiers who were doing with me, only bad side was because there was an exercise happening towards the end of my duty, there was a delay and I wasn't able to leave the camp until 30 minutes later. The great thing is Steven was there as well, so I ended up hitching a ride from him, which saved me another $27!

Overall, today was a decent duty day. I have 2 more days worth of duty to do and after that, this cycle will be over and I will have to return back to work, not so sure how I feel about work now because things aren't looking great! HDB finally got back to me via email this afternoon and told me I was not a suitable candidate for the job, after so many months, but I appreciate the fact that they actually bother to update me, and I know I wasn't right for the job already so no surprise there. Now I am hoping the other companies I have recently applied for will get back to me soon for an interview because I am starting to feel really stressed out about my income coming to a standstill.

Seventh Cycle =- 5th Day (?)

Turns out waking up at 3.30am wasn't really so much an issue for me, it is actually quite nice waking up at a timing when everyone else is asleep. I had a decent amount of sleep, so I didn't feel too lethargic, made a cup of coffee and toast, then watched Youtube videos until about 5am before I booked a Grab and headed for camp.

I reach camp at about 5.40am, and the Grab ride came up to a total of $27. 

The main gates were still closed at that timing, so I had to shout into the camp to get the attention of the active soldiers who were on duty that were busy talking to each other probably like 20 meters away from the gate, it was a little frustrating I had to shout multiple times to finally get their attention to open the gate for me.

After I finally got in, I immediately went to check my Load Bearing Vest and sure enough, someone actually touched it, I know this because I had originally taped the vest with my name on it and the tape was gone, so turns down the guy who misplaced his own LBV was actually inconsiderate enough to just use mine without asking. Thankfully it didn't stink but the fact that he wore it for 6 hours in the afternoon heat and probably sweated in it is gross. 

Anyways, after that realization, it wasn't long before I prepared for my duty, which started without too much hiccup. I was paired with another active solider and at the start, we were having a bit of a conversation going, but then more cars started coming in and I notice he was walking back and forth constantly to open the main gate and then back again to check their credentials before lifting the car barrier for them to enter, it was 20 meters to the main gate, and then 20 meters back to the car barrier, back and forth, back and forth, insanely inefficient, so I brought up how troublesome it must be for him to constantly do that, to which he then suggested that I could help him with the main gate so he can stay at the car barrier area to do his credential checks.

I did, and decided to station myself there for about 80% of my duty because there was a tiny guardhouse there I could just sit in and entertain myself with my phone. The weather was really warm though, the sun was already being a cunt at 8am, shining into the guard house and just heating up the entire small space, I could hardly sit down because if I did, the sun would shine directly at my face so my face pretty much glistening with oil the entirety of the duty.

The duty itself wasn't as relaxing as I was hoping it would be just because there were cars that were entering and leaving so often throughout the morning, so I found myself leaving the guardhouse quite often to open the gate for the vehicles. 

The poor active soldier didn't have his phone with him during the duty, so when there weren't any vehicles and he had nothing to do, he literally had nothing to do, he couldn't surf the net to kill time on his phone, all he could do was sit down and just fiddle around with whatever is lying around the place. I was contemplating to go back and entertain him by talking to him, but then decided against it because it was a little troublesome for me to be constantly moving back and forth for the 6 hours, also because I don't think I have enough energy to talk to him for 6 hours, which is why I only went to him at around 11am when we were left with 1 hour. 

So we chatted for the last hour, talking about animes and mangas because that is the common topic we had, and not long after, my replacement took over me. I went to return my rifle, packed my LBV to be brought home with me because I am not letting that fucker use it anymore and within 15 minutes, was out of the camp and in the Grab on my way home.

I actually manage to get a Grab within 5 minutes this time round, which was surprisingly quick, it was a nice old man and as I was trying to get into the backseat, he suddenly ask me if I wanted to sit in front, I really don't like sitting in front because it means having to talk to the driver, but he suggested so I did, and when I actually went to the front, he said...

"Oh, I thought you wanted to sit in front because of your bag?"

...  not really sure what he meant, but I ended up sitting in front because it felt odd to suddenly go out and then move to the back seat again. Thankfully, he was a friendly old man, so we had a few fleeting conversations back and forth.

During the car ride, I also decided to record how far the camp is from the main road, this was recorded outside the camp, so I am not breaking any rules.

But this is how ridiculously far the trip is.

Sigh, to think I was actually thinking about walking to the main road a few days back at night because it was taking forever for someone to accept my Grab request. 

The trip back was another $27, so I have spend a total of $54 just on Grab fare, I predict I will be spending about $200 in total for the entirety of the reservist just trying to go to camp and back home. 

I also realized I left my Stephen Colbert Tumblr in camp, so fuck my life. 

Seventh Cycle - Day 3 & 4 (Update on Life)

I was just home the whole of the 3rd day and 4th day, if there is anything I am grateful about my reservist, it's the fact that I am not required to report to camp daily.

Took the time during this past 2 days to apply for more job openings and I actually saw the company I had interviewed for post a new listing, this time they updated the job title and changed it to Project Manager instead of Interior Designer, which is what it should have been advertised as from the beginning, I think they probably got a bunch of shortlisted candidates questioning the job scope as well, that's why they decided to change the job title.  If there is no "design work", then the job title should not be Interior Designer, simple as that.

I also realize recently that the HDB Position I have applied for is not what I thought it was.

The job title for that position is Planning Executive, and the job scope they wrote down was quite vague, so I figured it was one of those type that I can learn on the job and slowly get a hang off, but then URA also posted a similar position and it turns out you actually need an Architecture, Building or Civil Engineering background as well as 5 years relevant experience. HDB could have listed down those requirements in their ad, but they didn't, and now I feel like an idiot for having been waiting for their response for the past few weeks.

Anyways, job hunting aside, I will be reporting back to camp tomorrow morning at 5.45am, not looking forward to the fucked up sleep schedule I will have to be doing tonight. I also decided to leave my load bearing vest in camp as well and yesterday, someone from our ICT chat said that they couldn't find his own because he has misplaced it in his house, so now I am very worried that that guy has borrowed mine without asking and used it for his 6 hour sentry duty, I am hoping he was not inconsiderate enough to just use it without asking because it's gross, I don't need someone else to be sweating in my vest for 6 fucking hours and adding thier own stench to it, it already stinks enough as it is. 

Seventh Cycle - Day 2

Guard Duty officially started today.

Since I had already brought all the necessary bulky items into camp yesterday, there wasn't any need to take a taxi to reduce any weight load today, so I took the public transport and it took way longer than I thought it would. What was supposed to be a 90 minutes journey ended up taking 2 hours, I was still one of the earlier ones to reach despite being it being just a few minutes before the reporting time because this is after all a reservist cycle, being told to come on time is always just a mild suggestion rather than an order.

So we had our training in the morning about an hour after the reporting time, repeating the things that we always do every cycle to familiarize ourselves again with everything, but this time, everything was happening much faster because my group is a smaller group and because of Covid, there were some changes to the training, which sped things up. Right after that, we broke for lunch, which was not good, as usual, but I tried to eat as much as I could just so I wouldn't get hungry before my duty started.

Unlike my last few cycles, I was posted to another part of the camp this time around that requires a car to actually get to, and it's not because "walking is too tiring and I don't want to get all hot and sweaty when I reach the place" it is because it is so deep in, and there is literally no bus service that goes there....

... this is the road that leads into the camp, that is how far the camp is from the main road, and the main road barely has any bus services, which is kinda pointless because no one in their right mind would walk all the way into the camp from the main road, it's ridiculous.

I have no idea why they decided to post me there even though they actually called me prior to the start of the reservist to double check if I had a car, to which I replied "I don't drive" , but still for some reason, plops be into this location. 

I did ask if it was possible to be relocated back to the original camp instead because I didn't drive, but the response was that they had to consider the other reservist personnel's personal work schedule, some with cars couldn't go over because they had other commitments to attend to, so they are being put in the main camp.

What logic is that?

So you called them up, asked them if they drove, they said yes, inform them that they will be placed at the more obscure camp location, they tell you they can't because they have other commitments so they can't go that far.

You then called people like me up, ask if we drive, we say no, throw us into the obscure camp regardless, and you don't bother to ask us if we have commitments to attend to like the ones who actually drive because if we do, it is a infinitely more inconvenient for us!

Prioritize the personal commitments of those who drive over the ones who don't, flawless logic. Our duty schedule is actually extremely flexible, so if someone had to work on Monday, they can just tell the commanders to not put them on a Monday duty slot, it doesn't matter which camp you are located that, if you have work on Monday and can't do your duty on Monday, you will not be put on a Monday slot, and even if you have no choice, it makes zero difference because you have a car, you can drive out, the directions will change a bit, but you drive, you don't have to struggle trying to get a ride out to the main road to grab the bus because you have a ride out of the camp.

Anyways, extremely poor planning from the higher ups aside, I was thankfully doing my duty at the same timing as an ICT who drove, which I shall just called Steven, so he was able to get me and another personnel into the camp, which was great and everything, you'd think...

"Oh, someone has a car, so no issue there then, he can also drive you out!"

...well, you are very wrong. 

Steven and the other personnel duty ends at 6pm, mine ends at around 7.15pm to 7.30pm. If I wanted a ride out, he would have to wait over an hour for me, and it won't just be him that will be doing the waiting, I will also have to make the other personnel wait because he also needs a ride out.

Steven did ask me how I will get back and he did suggest that he could wait, and the other personnel also didn't mind waiting, but I just felt really bad so I told them that it was fine, that I will just take a Grab out once I was done. I didn't want to eat up any of their time. 

So the duty starts and I get send off the another part of the camp to do my part, at around 6pm, I get a call from Steven, and he once again asks me how I will be going back because he is leaving soon since his duty has already ended, I reiterated that I will Grab home, thank him for asking and then insisted that he go back first, so he does.

My duty finally ends at around 7.15pm, I return my gun, packed up my belongings and headed out to the rest stop just outside of the camp to try and get a Grab, the fare was about $28

I tried twice and it ended with "no drivers available" after a few minutes of searching, so I downloaded the Comfort DelGro app and the fare was $44, which was insane, but I was desperate, so I tried to find one through it thinking that it will be easier to get a driver because of how much more fucking expensive it is compared to Grab. Couldn't find a driver as well.

I then went back to Grab and kept trying, it kept failing to find any nearby drivers.  

I was so desperate I wanted to ask some random active solider who was coming out from the camp to give me a ride out, but my social anxiety prevented me from doing so, at one point, there was another soldier who was waiting for a ride as well in the area I was waiting at, I figured he had either successfully gotten a grab or was waiting for someone to pick him up.

Someone eventually drove up the long road and he enters the car, it looked like his Mum and I could vaguely hear her asking him if he knew me, probably wanting to offer me a ride out, he shrugged her off and said he didn't and they just drove off. If she had actually asked me if I needed a ride out, I would have taken it immediately, but the son ended the possibility of that happening almost immediately the moment he got into the car, so there I was, without a ride, waiting for a driver to accept my Grab request.

I honestly thought I wouldn't be able to go home tonight because there was literally no way I was going to be able to walk all the way out to the main road, it is way too far and quite dark as well, and because it is so far out, I figured the drivers were also not very interested driving in to pick me up. 

I tried the app again and FINALLY after 20 minutes of searching and cancelling, someone finally took the job and I just felt so relief. I was so happy when I saw the car driving up the road to pick me up.

I got into the car, and as the guy did a U-Turn and started driving down the road, it just made me realize that walking out is simply not an option because the drive itself to get out was already taking quite a while, I can only imagine who much longer it would take to reach the main road by foot.

Anyways, the fare eventually came up to a total of $27, a cost that is non-avoidable because of what the higher ups did by throwing me into such an inconvenient location despite knowing I do not have a car and I have to go back 4 more times! The good news is I will only have to deal with this issue one more time next week, the other 3 times, I will complete my duty with someone who actually drives, so hopefully I can get them to at least drive me to the nearest bus stop or train station.

I am honestly contemplating to rent a car for that one inconvenient time because I was so stressed out.

The trip back and forth would set me back by $54 via Grab, if I rent a car, it will cost me about $68, so that is an additional $14. 

Decisions, Decisions.

Decisions I wouldn't have to be making if the higher ups actually made sound decisions and only threw people who actually owns a car to the obscure camp.

Upside is I don't have to report to camp until Saturday, downside is I have to report to camp at 5.30am on Saturday, because who gives a  fuck about a proper sleeping schedule.

Seventh Cycle - Day 1

The Seventh Cycle has officially begun and this time round, things didn't go according to how I thought they would.

So usually for my Reservist, I will always have this one friend who accompanies me during the cycles, almost like security blanket for socialization, but then this morning when I went to book in, I realize that we were put into different groups because of the Covid situation. 

We don't break into groups at the start, usually the groups will only get broken up into after the initial few days of training and usually my friend and I will go to the same group, the other group will then head to another more obscure and difficult to reach location to do their reservist duties. I have never considered going to that more obscure location before because it is extremely inconvenient if you do not have a car, the nearest bus stop is almost 2km away so it just didn't make sense for me to volunteer myself even though it is supposedly a lot more relaxing there because of the reduced traffic.

Well, I didn't have a choice for this cycle because after booking in, I was just told that I was part of group B and I notice my friend was part of group A, at the start I didn't really know what the group meant, but then it clicked and as I was walking to the briefing room for group B, I ran into my friend and shared the bad news with him, he told me it probably isn't what I think it was, and so for that short moment, I tried to tell myself that they are just breaking us into 2 equal groups to do the training, and once that training is over, then we will be properly broken into the 2 groups to decide who goes where. 

But then the more I thought about it, the more redundant it sounded, why would they bother breaking us into 2 groups, only for us to combine so they can break up into 2 groups again. It really didn't take long for me to come to the realization that this will be the first cycle were I will be going solo, but there is always a first time for everything.

The briefing itself was so dull, and it's made worst by the fact that I had no one to talk to, I did have someone at the start, but it was only temporary because once his friends joined him, I just wasn't very interested to be part of the conversation anymore, his circle of friends are those gangster ah beng type that I really do not want to be a part of, and then after that, he went to defer and was successful, so he left about 2 hours later. 

At that point, I was truly flying solo, I was barely talking to anyone, I knew a few faces but I have never spoken to them during the last few cycles before so it felt weird to just pop into their conversation. It was such an arduous morning / afternoon, the breaks felt like they were taking way too long, lunch wasn't great, but the upside is that the room was fully air-conditioned, so I wasn't feeling all oily and sleek.

As the day went by, the idea of being able to stay the night felt more and more impossible, then the thought of having to move all my things that I have brought over today, including my change of clothes, my towel, slippers, toiletries, the bullet vest, to the obscure location the next day, it just felt so tiring. During the last few cycles, I never had to worry about that, I would just leave them in the bunk and only worry about them maybe 2 weeks later when the cycle is over.

Finally, towards the end of the day, our timetable was finally shared and the workload this cycle really isn't too bad, it is probably 4 times lighter than usual because of Covid and we are given long enough breaks in-between our duties to really go home, it really feels like I am going for a regular 9 to 6 job, except instead of having to go everyday, I only need to go maybe once every 3 to 4 days, which is pretty much like my current job's schedule and I will have to take a taxi instead of the bus.

Staying in today was also not an option, the commander made it extremely clear at the end of the briefing that no one is allowed to stay in, so I had to go home and that is why I can't blog about the first day today, this means that for the next 2 weeks of reservist, I will be able to sleep in my own bed every nigh, not such a bad thought, just not a huge fan of the huge taxi bill I will be incurring.

Tomorrow will be the official start of my duty, so I will see how shitty it gets.

Another Interview...

I will be going for my 7th Cycle of my reservist in less than 2 weeks time and from what I have learned from my friend, it is going to be a relatively relaxing cycle due to Covid still being around.

Needless to say, I am still without any new projects at the moment and am still actively applying for job openings. I am using my reservist as a deadline or sorts, so once the reservist ends, it is either I am very close to being offered a new job or I will have to start getting new projects because the past few weeks, months of not having any ongoing projects and knowing that I am now completely devoid of any future project commission is extremely disconcerting, well I do have 1 more but that is so little it feels more like spare change.

I did go for a job "interview" a few days back and it is for a media company that focuses on real estate and interior design, the interview wasn't really one of those proper sit down interviews in an office filled with the usual "share with me about yourself, what are your strengths and weaknesses" questions , instead, it was held in one of the ongoing project that the company is handling at the moment.

When I first came across the job opening for this particular company, I was a little confused about what they were looking for, because they are a media company and it felt a little odd that they wanted to hire an Interior Designer, and it was only after my phone interview with one of the co-founder of the company did I get an idea of what they were trying to do. 

They are essentially, at this stage, a media company that does online articles and videos about real estate and interior design, they also have real estate agents in their company that sells property, so what they want to do is to get the customers who have gotten properties through them to also do the renovation through them as well, which sounds like a good idea, except I don't think it is.

Currently, the renovation department in the company is still at it's infancy stage, so the co-founder who interviewed me shared with me that he has taken on a few projects already but because he is a one man show, he needs someone else to share the load.

The issue is that the company does not have any sub-cons working for them, this means there is no tilers, no plumbers, no electricians, no carpenters, nothing.

How does it work then?

Well, apparently what he is doing at this stage is getting those customers and passing it off to another Interior Design firm to handle, it made zero sense because if you are passing the projects to other Interior Design firms to handle, then how are the projects that you are taking on right now considered your own?

He then explains to me that because his company does not have the sub-cons at the moment, what he does is....

1. Take Customer Leads

2. Meet the customer and get their requirements.

3. Share that requirement with his Interior Design firm that he is partnering with.

4. Interior Firm prepares the quote and design.

5. Interior Designer sends the quote back to him

6. He pass the quote to the Customer

7. Customer looks through quote and wishes to explore a lower cost.

8. He take the feedback from the leads and bring it up to the Interior Designer.

9. Interior Designer works on a new quote and sends it back to him.

10. Repeat steps 7 to 9 until client is satisfied and signs the contract.

11. Interior Designer manages the project and he does occasional site supervision every once in a while. 

... it just sounds like such a redundant process.

You know what would be an easier process.

1. Take customer leads.

2. Pass customer leads to Interior Designer. 

3. Interior Designer deals with everything else.

... that's it, and get the interior designer to pay you a referral fee for every leads that you provide them because what he is currently doing is just needlessly inserting himself into the process. It is just so cumbersome that the customer have to go through him to get to the interior designer and vice versa, like what is the point, it is so troublesome? 

This is the equivalent of me getting a third party company to help me order food from grab or foodpanda, like what even is the point? So if grab or foodpanda screws up the order, I will have to go through the third part company to make a complaint and they will forward it to grab or foodpanda, like what is the point? It just sounds so redundant.

He then shares with me that that is the initial stage, that he ultimately aims to take the renovation on completely, but he will still pass the design work to another Interior Designer to handle.

Hmmm, so essentially I will be doing everything I do not like about the job and not be able to do the only thing I like about the job, that just sounds horrible to me.

I then told him that I was looking for a more creative role and not so much a project manager role because I do not like project management, to which he tells me that it is something that can be explored and then from there on I just got really lost.

So if I join the company, I won't be joining as a Project Manager, I will be joining as an Interior Designer, but you are clearly looking for a Project Manager based on the scope, so what happens when I actually join, will you give me a more creative role or will I end up be forced to do the Project Manager role?

I was honestly still contemplating about the position after the interview, but after thinking about it and typing this whole post out, I don't know what I think about it anymore.

There is a basic, but there is also a commission scheme, which makes sense because there is that sales factor involved, but if this is a sales role and I am going to end up becoming a project manager, then what is the point of even switching company, especially from my current one which is already very well known in the industry.  I would rather stay in my current company if everything else is the same and on top of that, I actually get to run projects that I design.

Sigh, I found this company off cultjobs, the same as the other company that I had applied for previously but withdrew my application from, like what is the deal with the jobs from that website, I was interested to join both companies, but both their jobscopes are so odd.

No more leads, reservist soon.

No new job offers/interviews and no new projects in sight, this job hunt process that I have decided to put myself through is really not a great start to the year.

The potential leads that I had gotten over the past few weeks have started to lose their potential after meeting them for the second round, I exceeded the budget for one of them, or to be more accurate, their own requirements exceeded what I thought was a generous budget but really wasn't and the other, I no longer feel like we click anymore, they are still nice, but it felt a little awkward during the second meeting. So those 2 leads are gone for now, until they reach out to me again in the future, maybe?

A few days back, I got a customer who called in and I was lucky enough to be the one who picked up call and be assigned to them. When I met the client and his wife, they were very nice and I thought we clicked quite well, the consultation went relatively smoothly and I decided I wanted to meet them a second time, so I told them I will prepare a 3D drawing, a space planning proposal as well as their quotation within a week so we can meet before the CNY break starts.

I decided to put a bit of effort, so I drew out their floorplan in AutoCAD, also because the plan they shared with me was skewered for some reason, but having the drawing in CAD made the 3D Sketch Up drawing process so much faster, my colleague even asked me if the client was worth all that effort because he knew I don't really use AutoCAD and redrawing the floorplan can be quite time consuming, I brushed him off and told him I was also taking it as a way to refresh my AutoCAD skills. 

It felt like such an accomplishment when the CAD drawing was done, but barely 2 days later, the client reaches out via text and informs me that they have already engaged another designer.

All that effort, gone to waste, but I do appreciate the fact that he had the decency to at least inform quite early on because I had only worked on his CAD and the base 3D model at that point, nonetheless, still was a little disappointed receiving that text.

It also makes me wonder how good of a deal they must have gotten from the other ID that would make them immediately go sign the contract before they have even given me sufficient time needed to prepare their proposal or any chance at all. 

So that lead is gone now as well, I have literally no more leads at this point, great time to quit and join another company, but I don't have any company that I have applied for reaching out for any sort of interview, the only good thing I can see from this is that my reservist next month will be a stress free experience because of the lack of any ongoing projects, but I will definitely be stressing out about not having any projects and not having any new job opportunities. 

First reservist that I went for after starting this job, I was running my very first project.

Second reservist that I went for after starting this job, I had to deal with Sly Fox after he flipped and became a huge pain in the ass.

Third reservist that I went for after starting this job, I had to deal with the Antoinettes and that was probably my most stressful reservist I have ever experienced, which sucked because the reservist itself was such a relaxing experience. I was literally almost always in an Air-Con room with friends, either chatting or playing games together, and it had to be ruined by the issues that kept coming up from the Antoinette's project. I could not leave my phone behind because I was constantly expecting messages from them to come in.

I spoke to one of my reservist friend today and we happen to bring up the topic about my job because we happen to be in a similar industry, I shared with him how I do not have any project at the moment, then about how stressful it was during the last reservist because of the Antoinette issue and he actually told me he could see it on my face then. When I think about how I felt back then, I really do not want to relive that amount of stress I was in, I literally couldn't relax in the day time because that is when the clients are awake and could drop me a text at any moment, and even at night when I am about to sleep, I will think about having to wake up the next morning and potentially be bombarded by an influx of text messages.

No projects now = stress free reservist, stress free at least from a project management point of view. Would be similar to when I have to go for reservist while I was still working for my Dad, literally just have to worry about ways to entertain myself during my guard duty and nothing else. 

The job hunt will resume after CNY and the hunt for a new project will commence only after my reservist because I do not want to go through the same shit I went through last year, and hopefully a new job will come before I get a new project.