I got fired and it sucks.
"We wish to terminate our contract with you"
It feels so weird to actually hear that, I've never been fired before, I've always just quit. Now every time I played back that moment when the HR Personnel dropped that bomb on me after beating around the bush, it just feels weirder and weirder.
I mean she was really beating around the bush for a while and that was a define sign that she was feeling extremely uncomfortable to be the bearer of bad news.
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I was called by the HR Personnel to drop by the main office after work as she had wanted to talk to me, so when the clock struck 7.00 pm, I packed all my belongings, said my goodbyes to my colleagues and headed to the main office.
Waited for about 10 minutes, shivering in the office, as the HR Personnel was busy talking to the boss, so I went to take a piss and returned like 3 minutes later, the HR Personnel sees me and rushes over to me, looking really apologetic.
HR: Hey, sorry to make you wait, the discussion with the boss took so long, come, sit down, I want to have a chat with you.
Me : No worries.
HR: So, it's already been two weeks, how is the job so far?
Me : Mmmm.... well if I'm going to be honest, I feel like I'm underperforming* a little bit and the amount of things I'm expected to learn is a little bit overwhelming.
*When I say underperfoming, I don't mean me not contributing to the company, what I meant was that I wasn't given any work to do during the last 2 weeks. The trainer is either off at a site meeting or when she is around, I will be stuck in the showroom where I'm suppose to be "learning from the designers" who are always busy handling their own projects.*
HR: Actually I have spoken to the boss, your trainer as well as some of your colleague about your performance this past 2 weeks and what you have said is true, you are indeed under performing. You also say that you have difficulty digesting all the information that the trainer is giving you?
Me: Yeah, I feel like like there's information overload* sometimes, with all the price guides I have to learn, all the material libraries I have to familiarize myself with, HDB Building Rules etc.
*There is really a lot of new information to learn, apart from the HDB Building Rules and Regulations, there is material knowledge I need to familiarize myself, wet works I need to be knowledgeable in, different kind of lighting I have to know about, the type of air cons available in the market etc, the list just goes on and on and it is extremely overwhelming when a new person comes in, gets presented with that and have the company say "You have to learn and familiarize yourself with all of this information within a month"
HR: Actually all that information overload really shouldn't be an issue because all this are basics that you should have already learned in school. When the other designers came in, they were also given the same amount of information as you are currently receiving now and they are all able to digest it well.
Me : Hmmm....okay
HR: If I were to be honest with you, during the interview period, we were actually deciding between you and another candidate and honestly speaking, I actually preferred the other candidate and I hope you don't take this the wrong way.
Me: Mmhmm.
HR: And the reason why I took so long to get back to you after the second round of interview was because I wasn't sure you would be the right candidate for the position. But your trainer saw something in you and insisted on hiring you. She said there was something about you that was different from the other candidate, the reason why I agreed with the trainer to hire you in the end was because she has the final say and also because you are bilingual and you had some knowledge in interior design.
Me : *nods head to show that I understand what she was talking about*
HR: Unfortunately, over the past 2 weeks, the trainer and I have come to realized that you are actually lacking even the basic knowledge in Interior Design.
Me : *nods head to show that I understand what she was talking about, but started to feeling a little sting from that last comment*
HR : The boss, your trainer and I have actually come together and discussed about your future with the company. The boss feels that you aren't the right candidate for the job because you are too quiet and reserved to do sales, she told that to your trainer but told her that the choice was ultimately hers to make as you were under her. Your trainer really wanted to train you further, but after much deliberation, decided that it wasn't going to be such a good idea after all and so Timothy, unfortunately, we are going to terminate your contract with the company.
Yup, even writing that out feels weird.
Me : sigh *I honestly felt a bit sad when I heard that I was being terminated, despite having my doubts about this job, there's a difference between actually quitting and getting fired*
HR : I just want to let you know that having to do this to you is honestly making me feel very bad.
Me : Honestly speaking, I already had my doubts about this position during my second week, so don't feel too bad about it, if you are not firing me today, I will probably tender my resignation by the end of the year. The main reason why I continued to stay here as long as I have is because the workers here are all actually really nice people.
HR : Yes, everyone here is very nice and we are very frank with each other, I'm glad you could see that.
Me : Yeah.
...and since I was already getting fired, I thought I should be honest....
Me : Truth to be told, I actually lied during my interview as well, this isn't my first foray as a Sales Designer, when I first came out of the army, my very first job was as working as a Sales Designer in another firm, but I hated that job and left 3 weeks later to pursue a career in the F&B industry. I only came back to Sales Designing because I thought after 3 years, I might have grown and have a change of heart, but unfortunately, that wasn't the case.
HR : Because your personality isn't suitable for this field right?
Me : Yeah, so really, don't feel too bad about being the one to do this to me, what you are feeling now is how I feel when I quit, so I really understand what you are going through now.
HR : Thank You very much for telling me that, hearing you say that really makes me feel a lot more at ease. Let me go get your cheque for you. You have worked for us for 11 days, so here's the payment for the 11 days, just sign here.
Me :*signs the payslip*
HR : Thank you very much Timothy. So what do you want me to say to your colleagues about your departure, do you want me to tell them that you didn't feel like this job was the right fit and you've gone back to the F&B Industry?
Me : Huh?
HR : Well, they were definitely be asking questions when you stop appearing, our company workers are all like that one, if someone isn't at work long enough, they will ask what happen to that person.
Me : Ummm, you can just tell them the truth really, it doesn't really matter, in a way, this termination was a mutual understanding so it's really fine.
HR : I will just tell them you quit and went back to the F&B Industry.
Me : Ummm, maybe not the F&B industry, actually I also don't know what to say to them, I'm fine if you just tell them the truth.
HR : Okay lah, well thank you very much Timothy.
Me : Thanks for giving me the opportunity to work here.
HR : I wish you all the best! Bye Bye!
And that was it. I left the company and never looked back.
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When I told my Mum and Sister about it, they both got shocked.
Right now, I'm still a little confused as to how I feel about getting fired. I did not really like the job but at the same time, I also couldn't just quit, I didn't have any back up plan to fall back on.
After getting fired, I've been surfing Jobstreet and JobsDB, looking for a new job and I'm stuck, I have no idea what job to look for.
Jobs that I find interesting, I am not qualified.
Jobs that I enjoy, the pay is too low and the working hour is too long.
Jobs that I am qualified for, I'm not a right fit.
Now I'm jobless and I have no idea what to do with my life. I literally have no plans now, Interior Design is no longer an option for me, returning to the baking industry doesn't feel like a step in the right direction, going back to school also feels like it will be a decision made in haste. I'm now a headless chicken.
It's just a little sad to know that all the things I had imagined in my head I thought would happen a year from now isn't going to happen anymore. Getting my first deal, getting my first commission, entering the first house I've designed, getting my first car, all that is never going to happen now.
And it sucks.
What sucks even more is just thinking of how the other designers are going to think of me when the HR Personnel tells them that I had "quit to return to the F&B industry". I get that she is trying to help me save face by telling them I had quit but I would rather them know that me leaving the job wasn't a decision I had made on my own, I wasn't the one who gave up, the company was the one who did.
When I first went for the interview at this company, I was told by the HR Personnel that they had fired someone in the past for doing something that was against company regulation, so after I got hired, I looked at a name list on the system and asked some of the designers them about the people who were no longer working with them anymore, I was sure one of names on the list was the guy who got fired. When I asked about those ex-designers, a lot of the reason why they were no longer working there were because of personal reasons, none of them got fired, all of them "quit" on their own accord ......
"Oh, he left the job because he had some family issues back in Malaysia, he didn't quit."
"Yeah, she was working with us for 9 months before she quit."
"That person is a senior designer, worked for us for 7 years but left to open her own business"
Now that I know how the HR Personnel handles people getting fired, it only makes me wonder how many of those ex-designers really quit and how many actually got fired.
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