1 more try....

A few weeks ago, days after I quit my Interior Design job at the Design Firm, I made a list of the things I wanted in the next Interior Design Firm I joined.


1. I wanted a job that would allow me to focus on Design and Project Management.

2. I wanted a job that would allow me to become a freelance designer.

3. I wanted a job that would provide me with training from a qualified Interior Designer.

4. I wanted a job that will have more local than foreign talents.



Out of all 4 the things I've listed, my last job I got fired from only managed to tick off 2 of them from the checklist, them being Point 1 and Point 3.


Point 1.


The company didn't force me to use AutoCAD to do my space planning, they allowed me to use whatever software I wanted as long as it got the job done, the main reason being the fact that none of the senior designers knew how to use AutoCAD themselves, so it wouldn't be right to force the newer guys to do that, although all the younger designers uses AutoCAD.


Point 3.


I was assigned to a senior designer to train me and she wasn't just a senior designer with 14 years of experience, she was one of the 2 bosses of the company. She knew what she was talking about when she was teaching me stuff and I really wanted to learn from her on the rare occasions she was in the office and had time to teach me stuff.


After getting assigned to her, I just can't imagine why the last company I went to would assign an Interior Designer with just 2 years of experience to train me, it's just so fucking stupid because he honestly can't train for shit, instead of adjusting to teach me things at my pace, he teaches me stuff at his own pace, which was way too fast, he is after all, according to the boss, one of the fastest to learn the ropes out of all the designers in the office, so thanks for overloading me with information that I couldn't absorb at all. I honestly learned nothing from him, it was such a horrible experience, and I'm not even going to get into the first Interior Design firm I joined where I was assigned to a 4 month old designer, that was a fucking joke.



Point 2.


When I said I wanted a Freelance Job, what I meant was a job with a more flexible working hour, that means I wanted to have zero obligation to report to the office everyday from 10.00 am to 7.00 pm. I understand for the first few months, I will have to do that to receive training and learn from the other designers, to get leads etc, but I don't want to have to follow that schedule 2 to 3 years down the road.



I want to be able to plan when I want to come down to the office and when I want to work at home, I'm not going to get paid a basic salary so I shouldn't be obligated to follow a schedule set out by the company, especially one that demands such long working hours from their staff.



My trainer doesn't follow the schedule because she's half a boss, so I don't really see her often at work and she even tells me she doesn't come in on the weekends. She comes in at 12.00 pm after a site visit in the morning and leaves at 6.00 pm in the evening, sometimes she doesn't even come in at all. That's the kind of flexibility I want in a job.



When I had my 2 weekends off and came back to work on Monday, one of the junior designers asked me if I had both my weekends off, I told her I did and she got a bit offended.



"You got Sat and Sun off ? Why do you get to enjoy that privilege? Do you know that all of us here only get 1 weekend off every 2 weeks? If other people hear about this I think they will get really angry."



My biggest gripe with ID3 is definitely their working hours and that's one of the reasons why I felt a little relief when I was fired, just a tiny little bit, I was still mostly sad though.




Point 4


There were a shit tone of Malaysians, like 80% of them are  Malaysians, 15% are from China and Indonesia and the remaining 5% are local.


But it really wasn't a big deal in the end because everyone there was really nice, so fuck xenophobia.

-----

I haven't given up on this Interior Design career yet.

2 weeks did not give me the proper "try" I was looking for. I actually managed to learn quite a fair bit from the trainer but was canned before I could even put the knowledge I had received to use. It's not that I didn't want to talk to the walk-in customers, but during that one occasion I wanted to, I was told by one of the designers in the showroom.....

"Don't worry about it, you just sit down and do your stuff"

....I wasn't given a proper chance because my trainer also didn't think I was ready to talk to the customers. I was told during my interview that the new guys are expected to be able to handle the walk-in clients in less than a month, I was fired before that month even ended, I did not realize that less than a month equates to half a month, what about that third week? if I could talk to customers by then wouldn't that make it less than a month as well?

I think I'm going through the 5 stages of grief right now and I'm in the stage of Anger. I was alright on the first day but now when I think back, I can't help but feel a bit angry.

Even though I had mixed feelings about the job, there were moments when I would think to myself...

"Wow, I actually think I could end up liking this job a lot."

... there were actually moments when I would actually think of how lucky I was to be in ID3, to be taught by an experienced designer and be surrounded by a group of actually nice colleagues. All that was why I didn't throw in the towel despite the horrible work schedule and the influx of information being thrown at me.

This was a good 2 weeks, but it isn't the final try I was looking for.

Le Sigh~

Now that I've got time to digest what just happened at work, I guess it would be better to rewrite how I really feel about it.




I got fired and it sucks.

"We wish to terminate our contract with you"

It feels so weird to actually hear that, I've never been fired before, I've always just quit. Now every time I played back that moment when the HR Personnel dropped that bomb on me after beating around the bush, it just feels weirder and weirder.



I mean she was really beating around the bush for a while and that was a define sign that she was feeling extremely uncomfortable to be the bearer of bad news.

----------------

Here's how the firing happened to the best of my recollection, it only happened yesterday so it should be pretty accurate. I'm not going to list out the whole conversation, but instead just summarize the important bits because the entire conversation lasted for almost half an hour, like beat around that bush for a good 20 minutes why don't you.


I was called by the HR Personnel to drop by the main office after work as she had wanted to talk to me, so when the clock struck 7.00 pm, I packed all my belongings, said my goodbyes to my colleagues and headed to the main office.


Waited for about 10 minutes, shivering in the office, as the HR Personnel was busy talking to the boss, so I went to take a piss and returned like 3 minutes later, the HR Personnel sees me and rushes over to me, looking really apologetic.




HR: Hey, sorry to make you wait, the discussion with the boss took so long, come, sit down, I want to have a chat with you.



Me : No worries.



HR: So, it's already been two weeks, how is the job so far?



Me : Mmmm.... well if I'm going to be honest, I feel like I'm underperforming* a little bit and the amount of things I'm expected to learn is a little bit overwhelming.



*When I say underperfoming, I don't mean me not contributing to the company, what I meant was that I wasn't given any work to do during the last 2 weeks. The trainer is either off at a site meeting  or when she is around, I will be stuck in the showroom where I'm suppose to be "learning from the designers" who are always busy handling their own projects.*



HR: Actually I have spoken to the boss, your trainer as well as some of your colleague about your performance this past 2 weeks and what you have said is true, you are indeed under performing. You also say that you have difficulty digesting all the information that the trainer is giving you?



Me: Yeah, I feel like like there's information overload* sometimes, with all the price guides I have to learn, all the material libraries I have to familiarize myself with, HDB Building Rules etc.


*There is really a lot of new information to learn, apart from the HDB Building Rules and Regulations, there is material knowledge I need to familiarize myself, wet works I need to be knowledgeable in, different kind of lighting I have to know about, the type of air cons available in the market etc, the list just goes on and on and it is extremely overwhelming when a new person comes in, gets presented with that and have the company say "You have to learn and familiarize yourself with all of this information within a month" 


HR: Actually all that information overload really shouldn't be an issue because all this are basics that you should have already learned in school. When the other designers came in, they were also given the same amount of information as you are currently receiving now and they are all able to digest it well.



Me : Hmmm....okay



HR: If I were to be honest with you, during the interview period, we were actually deciding between you and another candidate and honestly speaking, I actually preferred the other candidate and I hope you don't take this the wrong way.



Me: Mmhmm.


HR: And the reason why I took so long to get back to you after the second round of interview was because I wasn't sure you would be the right candidate for the position.  But your trainer saw something in you and insisted on hiring you. She said there was something about you that was different from the other candidate, the reason why I agreed with the trainer to hire you in the end was because she has the final say and also because you are bilingual and you had some knowledge in interior design.



Me : *nods head to show that I understand what she was talking about*



HR: Unfortunately, over the past 2 weeks, the trainer and I have come to realized that you are actually lacking even the basic knowledge in Interior Design.




Me : *nods head to show that I understand what she was talking about, but started to feeling a little sting from that last comment*




HR : The boss, your trainer and I have actually come together and discussed about your future with the company. The boss feels that you aren't the right candidate for the job because you are too quiet and reserved to do sales, she told that to your trainer but told her that the choice was ultimately hers to make as you were under her. Your trainer really wanted to train you further, but after much deliberation, decided that it wasn't going to be such a good idea after all and so Timothy, unfortunately, we are going to terminate your contract with the company.

Yup, even writing that out feels weird.



Me : sigh *I honestly felt a bit sad when I heard that I was being terminated, despite having my doubts about this job, there's a difference between actually quitting and getting fired*



HR : I just want to let you know that having to do this to you is honestly making me feel very bad.



Me : Honestly speaking, I already had my doubts about this position during my second week, so don't feel too bad about it, if you are not firing me today, I will probably tender my resignation by the end of the year. The main reason why I continued to stay here as long as I have is because the workers here are all actually really nice people.



HR : Yes, everyone here is very nice and we are very frank with each other, I'm glad you could see that.



Me : Yeah.


...and since I was already getting fired, I thought I should be honest....



Me : Truth to be told, I actually lied during my interview as well, this isn't my first foray as a Sales Designer, when I first came out of the army, my very first job was as working as a Sales Designer in another firm, but I hated that job and left 3 weeks later to pursue a career in the F&B industry. I only came back to Sales Designing because I thought after 3 years, I might have grown and have a change of heart, but unfortunately, that wasn't the case.



HR : Because your personality isn't suitable for this field right?



Me : Yeah, so really, don't feel too bad about being the one to do this to me, what you are feeling now is how I feel when I quit, so I really understand what you are going through now.


HR : Thank You very much for telling me that, hearing you say that really makes me feel a lot more at ease.  Let me go get your cheque for you. You have worked for us for 11 days, so here's the payment for the 11 days, just sign here.



Me :*signs the payslip*


HR : Thank you very much Timothy. So what do you want me to say to your colleagues about your departure, do you want me to tell them that you didn't feel like this job was the right fit and you've gone back to the F&B Industry?


Me : Huh?


HR : Well, they were definitely be asking questions when you stop appearing, our company workers are all like that one, if someone isn't at work long enough, they will ask what happen to that person.



Me : Ummm, you can just tell them the truth really, it doesn't really matter, in a way, this termination was a mutual understanding so it's really fine.


HR : I will just tell them you quit and went back to the F&B Industry.


Me : Ummm, maybe not the F&B industry, actually I also don't know what to say to them, I'm fine if you just tell them the truth.


HR : Okay lah, well thank you very much Timothy.


Me : Thanks for giving me the opportunity to work here.


HR : I wish you all the best! Bye Bye!


And that was it. I left the company and never looked back.

------

I felt a sense of relief after I got fired, but the feeling of inadequacy was definitely stronger than that sense of relief. I've never thought that I would get fired that quickly from a job.




When I told my Mum and Sister about it, they both got shocked.



Right now, I'm still a little confused as to how I feel about getting fired. I did not really like the job but at the same time, I also couldn't just quit, I didn't have any back up plan to fall back on.




After getting fired, I've been surfing Jobstreet and JobsDB, looking for a new job and I'm stuck, I have no idea what job to look for.




Jobs that I find interesting, I am not qualified.
Jobs that I enjoy, the pay is too low and the working hour is too long.
Jobs that I am qualified for, I'm not a right fit.




Now I'm jobless and I have no idea what to do with my life. I literally have no plans now, Interior Design is no longer an option for me, returning to the baking industry doesn't feel like a step in the right direction, going back to school also feels like it will be a decision made in haste. I'm now a headless chicken.




It's just a little sad to know that all the things I had imagined in my head I thought would happen a year from now isn't going to happen anymore. Getting my first deal, getting my first commission, entering the first house I've designed, getting my first car, all that is never going to happen now.

And it sucks.


What sucks even more is just thinking of how the other designers are going to think of me when the HR Personnel tells them that I had "quit to return to the F&B industry".  I get that she is trying to help me save face by telling them I had quit but I would rather them know that me leaving the job wasn't a decision I had made on my own, I wasn't the one who gave up, the company was the one who did.



When I first went for the interview at this company, I was told by the HR Personnel that they had fired someone in the past for doing something that was against company regulation, so after I got hired, I looked at a name list on the system and asked some of the designers them about the people who were no longer working with them anymore, I was sure one of names on the list was the guy who got fired. When I asked about those ex-designers, a lot of the reason why they were no longer working there were because of personal reasons, none of them got fired, all of them "quit" on their own accord ......

"Oh, he left the job because he had some family issues back in Malaysia, he didn't quit."

"Yeah, she was working with us for 9 months before she quit."

"That person is a senior designer, worked for us for 7 years but left to open her own business"

Now that I know how the HR Personnel handles people getting fired, it only makes me wonder how many of those ex-designers really quit and how many actually got fired.

Not Sales Designer Material.

I can finally enjoy my weekends after that 7 day ordeal.



Yesterday, as I made my way to work, I decided to head to the main office instead of the showroom to do my stuff like I've been doing for the past 3 days, it's much bigger there, it's a lot colder, plus its quieter because it's in the warehouse section of the shopping mall where no shopper resides.



As I set up my laptop and arranged all the goods I've gotten from daiso that day, a bottle of barely tea and a can of mint candy, the boss comes into the office and starts talking to one of the senior designer, speaking in dialect, I couldn't really understand what they were saying, I knew they were complaining about work so I didn't really bother, until the boss came to where I was sitting and said...

"Eh Timothy, what are you doing in the main office?"

This is probably the second time she has ever spoken to me, she wasn't confronting me, she was just curious why I was there, I knew why I was there but that reason was probably not what she would want to hear, so I just went...

"Ummm... hmmm."

 ... and when that Ummm...hmm got a bit too uncomfortable to string out any longer, I half jokingly told her I preferred the main office because the showroom office was too tight and it was always crowded, she whips out her phone and starts opening her security camera app.

"The showroom now got space, if you think the showroom office too small, then you just sit outside. You need to sit outside to learn from the other designers how to take requirement."

... and the senior designer chimes in as well and goes...




"Yeah, you sit outside better, we here all very senior already, not allowed to sit outside."




Sigh, and so I made my way to the showroom and was stuck there for the entirety of yesterday with nothing to do except rectify my floorplan and look for reference images on Pinterest. The boss drops by the showroom and spoke to me about half an hour after she had coaxed me out of the main office, asking me the usual stuff..



"Where are you from?"... because being a Singaporean is a super rare thing in that company, when I tell my colleagues I'm local, they will all look at my in disbelief. After working in 2 design firms just this 2 months alone, I've come to the conclusion most Sales Designers are actually Malaysians, I've been listening to them talk in their accent in Chinese that when I am thinking in Chinese, it's with their accent.



"Where did you graduate from?" ... the good thing about this company is that they hire only those with interior design diplomas, which is also kind of a bad thing because that means everyone there have a standard design students are suppose to have compared to the non-design trained variants which are rampant in this industry, and sadly, despite being interior design trained, half the time, I'm just winging it in the company.



"Why did you come into this field?" ... I really couldn't give her the answer that would impress her, which I assume would be "passion" because I just really have a passion in this field, I find it interesting but I don't spend my free time reading Interior Design Magazines or surfing Interior Design websites, just like how a regular person who enjoys eating don't end up working in the F&B Industry. When I told her I didn't know why, she just went "Hiyah~" and smiled at me.




She then told me something a lot of senior designers there have told me... whether its a cautionary tale or an advice.

"You need to be hungry to succeed,  you need passion in the field, working hours are extremely irregular so passion is important, if you are seeking a stable job, this is not the one. We have people who work with us for less than 3 months and they quit because this isn't an easy job."

Welp, fuck me, and then they will backtrack and say things like...

"But it's only the beginning stages that is difficult, once you get past that initial stage, everything will fall into place naturally."

Not word for word but that's what they are trying to convey.



The longer I work there, I more I doubt I can succeed.



There are 2 attributes that I feel would make a Sales Designer successful...


1. Passion


They enjoy what they are doing and when they explain it to their clients, they will become giddy with excitement. Even if they can't do sales talk, just feeling that passion radiating from them would be more than enough to close a deal.



2. Ability to Sell a.k.a Sales Talk


If they don't have the passion, the fact that they are able to bullshit their way through with smoke and mirror would also be enough to close a deal, that's why there are so many horrible Interior Design firms out in Singapore that are still in business despite their horrible taste in Interior Design.





If a Sales Designer has either one of those attributes, then they will be able to succeed, if they have both, then it's a recipe for success, my trainer has both qualities, that is why she is so successful.




I don't have that passion in interior design, when I try and sell my design to my trainer during the mock presentation, even I myself don't believe in my own design, it looks nice but I'm always not sure if it would fit in the overall design scheme of the house, and now that I have to rectify the mistakes I have made in the space planning, I'm actually stuck, I spend hours yesterday staring at my laptop, wondering what the hell am I suppose to do, it's so frustrating.




I can't do Sales because I'm a more reserved individual. I'm not someone who likes forcing something on people and I feel that with Sales, there's a lot of that going on....




"You just want a TV Console, well fuck you, I'm gonna make 10 full height cabinets for your home because you need it, trust me, and maybe lets do a full mirror feature wall for all your walls, fuck it if it becomes an oven in the afternoon because it's going to be gorgeous and trust me, you need it, also, maybe lets abort your unborn child so we can convert his nursery into a Spa, like fuck yeah, who wants a burden when you can relax your muscles, trust me, you need it."




....and if the client has the audacity to say No, well then, that TV Console is going to be designed in such a way that it would cost the same as all the feature wall, cabinet, spa and abortion combined.




They say bad times don't last, but in this case, it isn't a simple case of learning the ropes, there isn't a specific formula when it comes to design, it's either you have the knack for it or you don't and I'm slowly coming to the realization that I probably don't. I'm not planning to quit anytime soon yet though because just the thought of quitting 2 jobs less than a month from each other and both in such a period of time is not just going to look bad, even I will feel like shit.




I need a fucking miracle for this job to work.






Speaking of miracles, I actually managed to pass my IPPT today. I've always failed in the past with the old 5 station system, so I will always assume every IPPT I take will equate to failure, but surprisingly, I was able to pass with incentive, so now I'm $200 richer and I don't have to take RT sessions next year.

It was alright, then it wasn't again....

Work has been very confusing lately, there are times when I just want to give up and quit the job, and then there are times when I become very motivated to do well in this job.





Yesterday, I was very close to telling my trainer how I felt about the job, it wasn't the good kind of feeling, I was waiting for the right timing to just let it all out and let her know, but that moment didn't come because she started talking to me about what she will be teaching me over the next few days....





"Today you follow me to site, you can have a look at what happens there, then tomorrow we will go through the presentation because I'm in a bit of a rush today, next week we will touch on how to do quotation, so you can get the sample from one of your senior designer and look through."





.... and I just felt a bit bad to tell her I wasn't feeling the job after listening to all the things she's intending to teach me. She's making an effort to train me and there I was, thinking of leaving and putting her efforts to waste, so I said nothing and followed her to site. It's the expectation that she has of me that's causing me to not want to tell her how I really feel about the job.






Once I was at the site, all that thought of quitting suddenly just went away and I got interested in learning again, just being there and experiencing everything first hand made all my initial worries about the renovation work less crippling, so I started asking questions and absorbing a lot of what she was telling me. After the site visit was done, I felt very motivated again, she drops me off at the nearest MRT and I made my way back to the office from there.





Fast forward to today, the presentation finally happened, she did a mock presentation to me first and then we switched, she talked about her past projects and I listened intently on how she was presenting her proposal, there was definitely a stark difference in the way she presented compared to me because she knew what she was presenting, she believed in what she was selling, when it came to my turn though, things kinda took a turn for the worst.





I didn't know how bad I was until the presentation ended. I knew I wasn't good, but I didn't know I actually sucked.



I was actually presenting my proposal the same way the designer at my old design firm presented, the one I worked at 3 years ago, I wasn't necessarily emulating her but I was following her style of presentation, which is very straightforward and non-interactive, just getting the information across as quickly as possible.

"This is a full height closet, I will propose to do it in this style, this is the half height closet, I will put this little detail in here to make it pop, here is the master bedroom, it's where you guys have sex and babies are made."

... she doesn't make any small talk or share her experience of how she feels, she doesn't ask the customer how they feel until the customers actually speak up, so that was what I did, I just kept talking and talking and talking, and then when it ended, my trainer had this to say about me...

"Just from looking at your body language, I will say that the way you are presenting the proposal is wrong. The way you seat, how you keep covering your mouth when you speak and the way you lean your head on against your hand. You are getting too detailed with the way you talk about the furniture as well, you don't have to do that."





Okay, I understood what she was saying and I thought that would be my main issue, my presentation because I haven't presented to a client before, this was my first try, I was expecting to receive criticism from this.





"And your space planning is all wrong, there are a lot of mistakes."




.....but I was not expecting that, I know my space planning isn't perfect, but I never knew it was that bad until she pointed it out and boy were there a lot of careless mistakes, it was so demoralizing, those were my mistakes so I was pretty upset with myself for making them, and then she said two things that really just made me feel like crap...

"The other designers that I trained, they have never made this mistake when they started, they were very meticulous."

Comparing me to the other designers, it's the same feeling when parents compare their kids to their neighbors kid, it's annoying to hear and be reminded that someone else is better than you, and then she tries to soften the blow by telling me...

"It's because they are girls, so they are more careful with this things."

Thanks for making this a gender issue and not a personal issue, it makes me feel better knowing that the mistakes I have made are forgivable because I'm a guy. I really don't know how to feel about that honestly when she said it, it feels like I've brought shame to men everywhere, feels a bit sexist.




And then the next thing she tells me...



"I thought I can just leave you alone for your space planning, but after looking through what you've done and seeing all the mistakes you have made, I think I need to check on your all your work in the future."



Her standard of me dropped like a hundred folds probably, after hearing her tell me that. I mean that has got to be extremely demoralizing for anyone, to know that the initial impression your trainer had of you has dropped so drastically in such a short period of time.



She was by no way scolding me when she told me those things, her tone wasn't harsh. There is a very harsh senior designer in the company as well and had I been trained under her, I'm sure she would have ripped me a new hole, I have heard the way she talks to her trainee and it's really not in a pleasant tone, she does this thing that gangsters like to do, asking rhetorical questions and expecting to get an answer, so I've never really spoken to her before but she has spoken to me once and that was just to acknowledge my existence. I mean the way she talks to the contractors and her customers are really quite blunt, especially to the contractors, half the time it sounds like she's scolding them and when she talks to her clients, it's just comes across as uncouth...

"Eh, you want to put the door here? You sure or not Mister? You put the door here then what happens when you open it? You tell me? You tell me what will happen?"

... and the client will quietly back away and accept his stupidity. It's impressive and intimidating at the same time.




I digress...



So after the presentation, I just felt extremely demoralized for probably the next 2 to 3 hours, staring at my computer screen and trying to rectify all the mistakes I have made, it was depressing. Decided to return to the showroom office afterwards and defrost myself, had my dinner, talked a little with one of the designers in there and then made my way home.




I am excited at the idea of being able to handle a project and manage it from start to end, I am interested in learning the process, but after hearing what I heard from my trainer about how I am not a very good talker and how bad my space planning was, it just feels like I'm never ever going to clinch a deal. Rather than quitting, I feel like this company will actually fire me for being unable to close any deals.




I mean to hear her tell me my space planning was bad and to reject some of my space planning ideas which I thought were pretty great, it's the same as me taking a math test feeling really confident about getting an A, only to receive the marks 2 days later and realize I have failed because of all the careless mistakes I have made, this is the perfect moment for someone to scream at my face...

"WAKE UP YOUR FUCKING IDEA!"

After working there for a few days, I can honestly say that this company is extremely different from the company I joined 3 years ago, from the way they take client's requirement to the way they present. I was doing what I learned from the 2.5 weeks I had worked at the design firm and apparently, the methods I am applying from that company to this one were all wrong.



In the old design firm...

1. We ask the client what their budget is from the start.

2. We ask them if they have any style or concept preference.

3.We ask them where they live in and what kind of housing is it when they present their floor plan to us, if it's a HDB, Condo, BTO etc.



In the new design firm, everything is opposite...

1. I'm told not to ask about the budget from the start, it should be asked at the end.

2. Don't ask if they have any style preferences, assume they are going for modern contemporary unless stated otherwise because apparently a lot of customers don't know what they want.

3. Don't ask what kind of housing they live in, as a designer, we should know from looking at the floor plan.




One thing I will say about that design firm I hated so much 3 years ago is that they have amazing designs, I really cannot find any other interior design firm who is able to create the custom furniture they have created and what they create are all really impressive. It's probably a huge pain in the ass for the carpenters though and it definitely cost a bomb.

Should've seen this coming....

3 more days of 11.00 am - 9.00 pm before I can finally get my weekends, I'm already at my halfway mark.


I'm now very much doubting my ability to do well in this field, spend the whole of yesterday sitting in the main office instead of the showroom and it felt so much more comfortable just being in a much larger space.



The showroom office is pretty much a claustrophobic nightmare, it's extremely small and it is suppose to fit 4 people in there, I cannot fathom how the senior designers are able to work in that space for months or years without going crazy, my last 3 days sitting in that space for 10 straight hours is almost enough to make me go insane, it's like I'm being punished and send to the naughty corner.




The main reason why I was even in the main office yesterday was because I had thought that my trainer would becoming in for work, she had told me that she wanted me to present to her a mock project on Tuesday, to treat her like how I would treat a client, but she was a no-show, so I just sat in the office from 11.00 am to 6.30 pm before making my way into the showroom office because my laptop's battery was dying.



I really wanted to talk to her yesterday as well and share with her my doubts about the job, I'm not sure how she will take it, I can see it going in 3 ways...




1. Rage

She would get angry that I have wasted the company's time and she will call the HR Personnel over to come deal with me, the HR Personnel will also get mad at me for wasting her time and then fire me right on the spot.
 

I will walk back to my area to collect my items as the in-house and senior designers look at me and judge my fickleness and when it gets too much, I will start shouting profanities at them, only to have the HR Personnel come up to me and scream at my face, drag me to the showroom and announce to the sales designers there that I am a quitter and will be leaving the company effectively immediately before kicking me out of the showroom in full force. I will then land on the floor and become a spectacle for all the shoppers.




2. Understanding 

What I normally experience when I quit my Sales Designer positions. The both times I told them I wasn't comfortable with the position, the person in charge was nothing but nice and understanding.

They will bring me to a quiet area and hear my troubles, ask me if I had known what the job entails when I applied for the position, I will tell them it was different from what I had imagined in my head, then I will apologize profusely for wasting their time and then they will let me go on the same day.

3. Try Harder


The boss will tell me that the job is the way it is suppose to be, that I should stay for a few more months and try harder because it's only been a week and I'm already throwing in the towel.

So far I've only seen her for 3 days out of the 7 days I have worked there.

----

I just feel really bad if I were to quit now because the HR Personnel on the first day was so nice to me, bringing me around the office and telling her colleagues like a proud parent...

"Hi, meet my new Sales guy."

Even the boss was nice to me, she is the only boss I've met who actually came up to me to shake my hand and welcome me to the company, all the other companies I've been to, it's always just...

"You can keep you bag there and wait for further instructions"

...or they don't even acknowledge me at all.





The sales designers there are aware that I am someone who is on the quieter side, one of them even asked me if I could excel at this job because of how reserved I am, she wasn't being sarcastic but actually genuinely curious if someone of my personality could do Sales and the only advice she could offer me was to "give it a try first".




I really don't know why I have put myself in this situation again. This is my third try and I'm still reaching the same conclusion as the previous 2 attempts, I really don't know where all that optimism about how "this could be different" comes from.



This will be the last and final try, if this still does't work out by the end of the month, if I still feel the same by the end of the month, then it's definitely not a good fit and I should really stop applying for sales position.

Spoke to HR today about my issue with the work schedule, proposing my preferred schedule to her and she said No.


I knew from the moment I started talking to her that she wasn't going to be very receptive of my proposed schedule, the entire time I was sharing my problems with her, telling her how I will be working from 11.00 am to 9.00 pm for 7 days straight, she had this constant frown on her face, I kept asking her...

"You know what I'm talking about?"

*frown* "Sorry I don't." *frown*

... and she wasn't being sarcastic about it, I could tell that she really didn't get I was talking about at first, she was in the midst of doing a bunch of paperwork when I went up to her so she wasn't exactly in the most attentive mood.



I decided to then take out my phone and show her the calendar, pointing out the days I am working and highlighting to her how the crazy long hours I will be working for the next 7 days straight and when she finally got what I was trying to convey, she goes...

"Okay?"

... like she wasn't sure why I was bringing this up. I was actually expecting her to go like...

"Oh wow,  I didn't realize you would be working for 7 days straight, let me take a look again"

....or at least be more understanding of my situation, she wasn't, she did not even see the problem with that schedule, I quickly told her that I wasn't comfortable working such long hours for 7 straight days, at least give me a break in between and thus I proposed my schedule to her, telling her I will be willing to work for 7 days straight this week but would prefer for her to follow my new schedule next week and she goes...

"Cannot do this. You can't switch day off on another day just because your work schedule is long. If you want your breaks to be on Fridays, then all your breaks will have to fall on Friday, cannot one week take Tuesday one week take Friday."

.... her reason was that my proposed schedule would clash with the existing schedule she has already planned out, which I get, but really? I'm working a 7 day work week every other week, that is not okay at all and it's from 11.00 am to 9.00 pm, that's the long hours work week, I'm suppose to be having a shorter week for that period, but instead I'm working EVERY FUCKING DAY.

I did not respond straight away when she rejected me and just stared at the table for a while, hoping she would say something, like get what I'm trying to tell her and offer me a solution, tell me she will rearrange the schedule for me in her format so it doesn't clash, but instead she goes...

"This kind of schedule is actually normal, a lot of our designers are following a similar schedule, you give it a few months and you will get used to it."

A few months, give it a few months. If she knew my track record for leaving jobs, she would probably realize what she has just told me is fucking ridiculous.

I'm not going to "give it a few months" if a company is going to make me work from 11.00 am to 9.00 pm 7 days a week every other week, that's fucking insane. I'm not going to just sit back and give it a few months to get used to this ridiculous schedule because as if being misinformed about the working hours during the interview isn't bad enough, lets really screw up your work life balance.

I actually told one of the senior designers about my current predicament, to ask her if it was considered normal and even she was taken aback by my scheduling, and then I also learned that she was also misinformed of the working schedule during her interview.

Before I left the HR Personnel desk, I told her I understand where she was coming from but I didn't agree with her scheduling, so I told her I would speak to her again after she told me to "get used" to it and she said...

"Yeah, let me know again."

Sigh~

Working from 11.00am to 9.00pm is insane this past 3 days because I have nothing to do, my trainer won't be coming in until tomorrow so I've spend pretty much the entirety of today looking at my computer screen and waiting for time to pass, it was so horrible, I honestly rather be doing a 6 hour guard duty in my Airbase than sit in the office doing absolutely fuck all for 10 fucking hours, at least the guard duty will be over in 6 hours and I would have someone to go through the pain with me.

There wasn't any Facebook serving, or Youtube steaming for that 10 hours, just Pinterest, Illustrator, Pinterest, Illustrator, me constantly switching between the 2 windows, I felt like I was working at my Dad's office, except without the freedom to serve my SNS to actually kill time. My eyes are so strained right now I can't stop blinking, it's so horrible.

Since I'm actually meeting my trainer tomorrow, I'm definitely going to bring this matter up to her and hear what she has to say about the 7 day work week, I really hope she doesn't give me the same reply as the HR Personnel, that would be really upsetting if she did that.

I would be lying if I said I didn't think of giving up on this job and this industry today, I did many many times, but every time someone in the office talked to me, for some reason, all the just goes away for a while. My colleagues in this company are all actually quite a sociable bunch and had this company actually followed the schedule of the last company I had worked at for 2.5 days, it would have been perfect.

The last company's schedule was great because it was an alternate 4 day work week / 6 day work week, everyday from 10.00 am to 7.00 pm and according to one of the employee I had spoken to, they rarely ever have to work overtime. I don't want to go back to that company though, but I wished my current company could follow this company's schedule.

So sad, this company is almost perfect, ALMOST save for the horrible as fuck work schedule.



I've worked 14 days straight before and it really really sucks, especially at the first design firm because I started to hate it after the first 2 to 3 days, so by the end of that 14 days during my first off day, I got so burned out from the constant thought of just quitting that I wasn't able to fully enjoy it and also knowing that I had to go back to work the next day and slog for another 6 days made it so much worse, I didn't slog through all 6 days though because I quit on the 3rd day that week, that sweet release when the boss allowed me to leave the next day was something I will never forget, it was like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders, waking up the next day and knowing I didn't have to go back.



I've worked probably 12 days straight in the bakery before as well and while it sucks to have to work that long, that period was the during the honeymoon period, I was doing what I wanted and I was happy doing that instead of Interior Design, so every time I felt dishearten by it, I just think of my life a few months prior when I was stuck in the design firm and hating life, so it didn't feel so bad, plus the fact that the working hours is shorter which made the process a lot more bearable, I got to go home at 4.00 pm and still have time in the evening to do the things I want to do before having to head to bed.



Nowadays I get home at 9.40 pm and only have less than 3 hours to really relax and keep up with the latest TV series I am watching, I've no time to play Overwatch because every time I play a game, time passes by so quickly it is ridiculous.

The seeds of doubt have officially been sowed.

Working from 11.00 am to 9.00 pm the past weekend has been a very mind numbing experience. I spend 80% of my time cooped up in the Showroom office browsing through Pinterest for reference images for a mock project my trainer has given me.



I'm beginning to have doubts about my ability to actually do well as a Sales Designer. It's just not a job for someone with a personality like mine, the way I see my senior designers talk to their clients like they have been friends for years just isn't something I'm capable of doing, I feel exhausted just thinking about having to act the way they do to their clients, making small talk about their client's life, about their children or their vapid interest in watching paint drying.



So far the company has been great, people are friendly and I haven't gotten any scoldings yet, but the thought of having to work from 11.00 am to 9.00 pm everyday from now till Friday is such a buzzkill.



When I first went for my interview, I was told that the work schedule would be as follows...


First Week : 6 Day Work week from 10.00 am to 7.00 pm.

Second Week : 5 Day Work Week from 11.00 am to 9.00 pm.

Repeat


The reason why the second  week is only a 5 day work week is because the employees are expected to work longer hours, I thought that was fair, 6 days of 10.00 am to 7.00 pm and 5 days of 11.00am to 9.00pm, in my head that was all I really remembered, so I roughly thought my schedule would be as follows...


First Week : Monday to Saturday from 10.00 am to 7.00 pm

Second Week : Tuesday to Saturday from 11.00 am to 9.00 pm



I would get a weekend off every week, it would be a relatively fair work-life balance. Turns out that was not the case at all because...



1. 10.00 am to 7.00 pm working hour is only applicable on the weekdays


2. I am only allowed to take my off day on a weekday for my 6 day work week




...which means in the 6 day work week schedule, I will be working two 11.00 pm to 9.00 pm shift, essentially forcing me to work 4 days of 10.00 am to 7.00 pm and 7 days of 11.00 am to 9.00 pm in 2 weeks , I'm working more days of longer hours than I am of shorter.



I really wasn't aware that I would have to work longer hours on the weekend until I was assigned my weekend duties and because of how my week has been planned, I'm actually working long hours from 11.00 am to 9.00 pm for 7 days , 7 freaking days, I thought the upside of working from 11.00 am to 9.00 pm is that we will have lesser working days.



Needless to say, I will probably be waking up on the wrong side of the bed from today till Friday. 5 more days before I get my weekends, I'm also going to have to speak to the HR Personnel and have her schedule my off days more evenly because I don't want to have to go through working 7 days straight from 11.00 am to 9.00 pm again.



Right now my working schedule is as follows should I follow what the HR Personnel has planned out for me...


Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday (10.00 am - 7.00 pm)

Friday (Off)

Saturday Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday (11.00 am - 9.00 pm)

Saturday Sunday (Off)


It's nice to have 2 weekends off, but the price of working 7 days straight just isn't worth it.

What I'm planning to propose is...


Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday (10.00 am - 7.00 pm)

Friday (Off)

Saturday Sunday Monday ( 11.00 am - 9.00 pm)

Tuesday (Off)

Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday (11.00 am - 9.00 pm)

Sunday (Off)


A much more even planning and I could look forward to having a off day every 3 to 4 days, this is almost similar to how my NS schedule was like, almost, and I probably won't feel so sian about going to work everyday.


I get that the senior designers normally come in everyday because they have clients to meet, but that is their choice, when they are done with the meeting, they either stay back and work on the changes their clients requested or they leave, they are not obligated to stay until 9.00 pm.



A happy employee is a staying employee. If they can't even grant me that simple request then I really doubt I will be able to stay long.


One thing I told myself when I left the bakery was that I wasn't going to get a job that would require me to work a 6 day work week and now look at what I've gotten myself into.

New Job. Again

The first 3 days of work so far has been alright, the quitting bug hasn't hit me, so that is a good sign, although I am afraid the reason for that is because I haven't really been doing any interior design work since I started, I'm afraid should I really start getting into the nitty gritty of Interior Design, that would be when that quitting bug starts attacking my mental psyche hardcore.



My first day of work consisted of a quick introduction to the people in the office, the office itself, as well as the showroom that is situated in another part of the mall I am currently working from. My main work space is suppose to be at the showroom, that's where I am suppose to get my customers and for a newbie like myself, getting those customers are important, they are going to be the one who will be sustaining me financially in the future after all, but since I'm still receiving training and will be considered a trainee for the next 3 months, I've been spending the last 3 days doing my stuff in the main office where my trainer works from.





I've met and spoken to a few of the workers in the main office and have really only had conversations with 4 of the 9 people working there, they are the HR Personnel, the Marketing Department Personnel, my Trainer as well as another Senior Designer, which is great, but the people I really want to become close to or at least have a friendly relationship with are the people who are currently working in the showroom floor because they are going to the people I have to see and interact with on a daily basis soon, tomorrow in fact.




Majority of the showroom people I've met so far are alright, save for a few that I just find a bit odd. I didn't introduce myself to everyone there and the ones that I have been introduced to are the ones that were present during my orientation around the showroom with the HR Personnel, so when I saw a senior designer I hadn't met yet yesterday in the showroom, instead of shaking his hands, introducing myself and saying...

"Hi, my name is Tim, I'm new here." 

...which is what I really really wanted to do, I kinda just looked at him for a split second and smiled, he didn't really bother introducing himself to me or even smile back, just kinda looked at me for a moment and then went back to doing his own things. I know who he is though, I did my research on the company before hand and saw this rather cringey promotional video they made on their Facebook of them introducing themselves.

There was also that time I had to go back to the showroom to return a particular file and everyone was happily chatting until I came in, they carried on chatting because a lot of them had their backs towards me, so they didn't notice my presence, except for this one who was facing me and he kinda just looked at me not really acknowledging my presence. I mean if I were in his shoes and I was chatting with my friends, should the new guy suddenly come in and we made eye contact, I would at least smile at him and acknowledge his presence, rather then just stare at him, it was just so weird, I left the showroom feeling even more like a stranger than I did before.




I kinda wished I had just opted to take the In-House Designer position instead of the Sales Position when the HR Personnel asked me about it, then I can just remain cooped up in the office and not have to expose myself to the Sales Designers and Customers, although the In-House Designers are light years ahead of me in terms of software knowledge, so maybe not.



I'm off today because I have to go back on Saturday and Sunday to work from 11 am to 9 pm, this is like reliving my first job as a Sales Designer 3 years ago when my very first weekend got completely burned because of the stupid exhibition that was going on for that week I entered the company, but with that last job, I didn't actually get any sort of break in between and ended up working a full 13 days before I got my first weekend off, that was a nightmare.




So from tomorrow onward until Friday, I will be working from 11 pm to 9 pm, which means 7 straight days of work, would be great if I was actually capable of getting clients but I'm still at a point where I'm not able to manage any projects on my own, I will be attached to another junior designer who is also under my trainer and will be learning the ropes from her for the weekend.




One thing I don't like about being attached to junior designers is the fact that they have no idea how to train a person, the last company I joined a month ago proves just that, so I hope she won't be doing too much of the "me right, you wrong" mentality that I've come acrossed when I was attached to the junior designers of past companies.

New Gadget

After getting confirmed for my new job, I decided it would be a good idea to get a new laptop, one that would only be used for work related purposes. It didn't have to be powerful, but I wanted it to be small and light so I don't have to feel like I'm lugging a newborn baby whenever I was carrying it.


I say I'm buying it for the job, but I just really wanted a valid excuse to get a new gadget and getting this new laptop would make me feel obligated to stay in this job and not quit 3 days later because it's too hard. Now that I think about it, I really don't think it's a very good idea because I haven't even started work yet and I'm not sure if I will actually really feel obligated to stay if I really hated the job, just because I bought a laptop for it.

HP Pavillion X-2

I made my purchase on Friday from HP, decided to buy it online and have them deliver the laptop to me because I'm just too lazy to go to the shop to look at other models, the delivery arrived today after a bit of hiccup and I actually had a bit of buyer's remorse when I first booted it up.




Upon the machine's start-up, I went ahead and installed the necessities like Chrome, WinRAR, VLC and all the other freewares that I normally have, all with the help of Microsoft Edge, and it was extremely choppy from the get go that I was actually quite taken aback.  This was a brand new laptop I had just removed from the packaging not even an hour ago and it's already struggling to maintain a smooth internet surfing experience with Chrome, that's really pretty shit.




My end goal was to install my Illustrator and Photoshop on the machine and initially I wasn't sure if the laptop was actually able to run those programs, but to witness how pathetic it was at trying to remain functioning without just going straight to BSOD, all that hope for it to be able to run the programs I wanted it to run just went down the drain.




Decided that something must be up because there's no way the laptop can be such a piece of shit, so I opened the Task Manager to see what was up and lo and behold, it turns out the FREE McAfee Virus Scanner that I got with the laptop was chugging up 50% of the computer's ram, 50 fucking percent taken my by the Virus Scanner that's suppose to protect your computer from viruses so it can run smoother, the fucking irony. I can't believe it's being given as a Free Gift, like it's suppose to entice customers to get the laptop even more, I mean if anything, having that Virus Scanner installed is more like a huge pain in the ass.



Needless to say, I uninstalled that piece of shit and the laptop started to run a lot smoother, like A LOT smoother, I was able to install Illustrator and Photoshop, both of which works great, not super smooth but I can't complaint for a $500 laptop. Even if at the end of the day, it ends up being not strong enough to function as my main work laptop, I've always wanted to get a tablet and this is it.

Why won't you call me?

I'm supposed to get a call today from the design firm's HR to let me know when my first day of work will be, but it's already 8.00 pm and there's still no call. I'm hoping they will call me the tomorrow to offer me the job, or according to the the boss, tell me when would be a good day for me to start work.



I have gone for so many interviews in the past and there are many I could tell from the get go that I wasn't going to get the job, be it from my lack of interest or from the interviewer's lack of interest in me, which would in turn lead to my lack of interest in joining them, it's a two way street, if you are not interested in hiring me and you make it really obvious from the way you act and speak, then I also rather not be a part of your company working for you.



The interview at the design firm actually went really well, I spoke to the HR Personnel and she was really friendly, went back a few days later for my second interview and spoke to the boss, she was also equally friendly and we actually spoke for almost an hour, in fact when I left, she even told me...

"You should expect a call from our HR on Monday to let you know which day you can start."

I mean that is essentially her telling me I've gotten the job because if the company wasn't interested in hiring me, a lot of times they will say...

"Okay, I will get back to you by next week."

And many times, they don't, which I get is normal procedure for many companies, but it would be nice to at least drop me a text or email telling me they have found another candidate or that I'm not the right fit, that should be basic courtesy.




What really gets me is when a company indirectly lets me know they have rejected me by posting a brand new job ad on Jobstreet or JobsDB for the exact same position I had applied and went for an interview for 2 weeks prior. Really? Is the pool of candidates from the last round so horribly shitty that you have to put up a new ad in hopes that a miracle would happen and your dream candidate would apply? I take it personally when I see a company pull that shit, I would understand if I didn't get the job because they had found a better candidate, but the fact that they would rather leave that position open then to hire me really feels like a slap in the face because I see that as them telling me that I'm so inadequate they would rather leave that spot open than to have someone of my caliber to fill it. I have actually seen the company posting a brand new ad again last week so I really have no clue what the company really wants in the candidate, I mean the candidate probably has to have a vagina, that's for sure, the boss only likes working with girls, evident from him being surrounded by female workers when I went for my interview.




So right now, regarding the current design company, I've gone from being...


Optimistic because the interview went well.

to 

Anxious because I was told to expect a call on Monday telling me when I could start work.

to

Annoyed because I haven't gotten the call yet.




I'm really tempted to give them a call to ask them what is going on and a part of me can't help but think that this is part of a test, to see if I really wanted the job bad enough that I would actively make the move to call them first, I hope it isn't though because all this stupid hidden test thing can suck my dick, but I will probably call them tomorrow to check, only problem is I can't remember the name of the boss or the HR lady so that is going to be a little awkward.

Update:

Decided to just call the HR Personnel after I wrote this blog because I just got very anxious and as it turns out, she and the boss has been very busy lately, so they never got to meet and have a chance to discuss about my employment. I'm told to hear from them again on Friday.

It's nice to know that I'm not out of their candidate list.

---

Speaking of things that are bringing me no joy, I feel like I have to rant about the TV Series Once Upon A Time, because Oh My Gawd has that show gone to shit.


The first and second season started out really strong but everything after that just feels like the writers are completely winging the story. It doesn't feel like they have a complete picture in their heads when they write the new seasons, they just make shit up as they go along.


One particular story arc that really bothered me was the one in Season 4 when they reintroduced a dead character.



This is what I think their thought princess is like when coming up with that particular story....


"Oh the Evil Queen Regina has turn over a new leaf and is on the good side now,lets reward her by giving her her happy ending, in the form of her one true love Robin Hood."



...and for a few episodes, Regina had a pretty happy story line where she was just making out with Robin Hood and vice versa, but then the writers decided that happiness isn't what they wanted, it was boring to see her so happy, so they decided to spice things up...



"You know what would be a great idea? Let's reintroduce Robin Hood's dead wife, who isn't really dead, and lets make Robin Hood feel obligated to get back with the wife even though he is currently in a relationship with Regina."




 ....so they reintroduced Robin Hood's dead wife, who really isn't dead because of some wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff, and so Robin Hood ends up being stuck in this awkward position of whether to bone the evil queen or his wife, so Robin Hood ends up going back to his wife and the viewers obviously weren't happy with that bullshit, they were expecting the Regina to end up with Robin Hood in the end and that is essentially what is suppose to happen, it's just a matter of how the writers will reach that end, EXCEPT, the writers had no fucking clue how to get to that point.



As someone who watched the show, the only way I could think of solving this whole thing was for the wife to die, maybe die trying to protect the Regina, like have her block an attack, and maybe her dying wish would be for Robin Hood to be happy and seeing how only Regina can bring him happiness, she would give them her blessings. I mean it's kinda a dick move to kill her off again but no one who watches the show really gives a rats ass about the wife so hey, problem solved, but NO~, the writers for some reason decided to do an ass pull and went...




"Tricked Ya! Didn't think you'd expect Robin Hood's wife to have actually been dead this whole time, and for it to have been another villain pretending to be her all along using a Glamour Spell."



And it was a very WTF moment because honestly, what the actual fuck? The earlier episodes showed no signs of the wife being the villain at all, had this been real life and someone actually managed to pull that shit, then kudos to them, their plan worked flawlessly, but this is a fucking TV show, you don't suddenly just go "TA-DAH!". When this kind of plot twist happens, there will usually be some foreshadowing, subtle hints in the earlier episodes that you won't necessarily catch at first, hints that people will only get when they re-watch the earlier episodes after the big reveal, but obviously, there aren't any because the story wasn't properly planned in the beginning at all...



And that twist was riddled with plot holes it was ridiculous.


The writers claimed that they had planned to bring her back all along, and that might be true, but they obviously didn't really plan on how she would be brought back until the last minute when they fucked the love triangle story up and decided to salvage it with that twist.



Plot Hole No.1

Robin Hood's Wife gets cursed and almost dies. If she was the villain disguised as the wife, she could have done something to prevent the curse, something that would make her cover as the wife believable, but to get herself almost killed just for the sake of keeping her identity a secret is a bit drastic.


The writers were obviously writing that part when they were still going with the "That's really Robin Hood's Wife" story in mind and not her as a "Villain Pretending to be Robin Hood's Wife because had it been the latter, maybe her using a bit of magic to protect herself would have been a better alternative and it would only be revealed in the big twist why she was able to use magic.


That brings me to Plot Hole No.2




Plot Hole No.2

So in OUAT, there's this thing that the show does where they can pull your heart out and reveal how pure or how dark your heart is. If you were pure, your heart would be bright red, if you were evil, it would be black.

When Robin Hood's Wife was attacked and put in a coma that was a countdown to her death, Regina had to rip her heart out to keep her from dying, during that scene, her heart was bright red, which meant that it was pure, but if she was the villain this whole time, then her heart should not have been pure at all, it should have been black.



Fans are of course coming up with dumb reasons like...

"Oh the heart is pure because she was using a glamour spell to mask her true form, so she could have done that to her heart."

Such a convenient excuse. You know what would have been better? The Fake Wife actually casting a protection spell on her heart just before she got hit by the coma spell, so when Regina actually tries to rip her heart out, she won't be able to, that would actually prevent us from seeing the dark heart and at the same time, it would actually allow the Fake Wife to live, making that attack a gamble that the Fake Wife would realistically take to cover up her true identity.




Needless to say, the writers did a horrible job trying to fix that story line and really, after watching that horrible train wreck, I just couldn't take the show seriously anymore because they could do an ass-pull at any moment.


In fact,the show is now completely screwing up the timeline when they do flashback scenes, it's just ridiculous how much they are getting away with it. And there are scenes that are so badly written it's just stupid, scenes like them trying to talk a bad guy out of doing something bad...

"This is not the way! There is a better way."

.. and the bad guys totally eat that shit up and be like...

"You are right! This isn't me."

It's very anti-climatic, all that build up and then in the end, all they needed to hear was a cliche "This isn't the right way, think of what your pet hamster would do if she was alive" bullshit to have them give up on their plan to kill someone.





I'm still watching the series, but purely because I had been watching from Season 1, but I honestly almost stopped watching during this week's episode with Captain Hook and Captain Nemo because it was so boring, I spend half the time doing something else so I only caught a gist of what happened, but as usual, the way they ended the story was just stupid, one of those "everyone suddenly gets along with each other happily" kind of ending.