"Nice"

The Script is one of those bands whose songs I need not listen over and over again before actually liking it.

Isn't it pathetic, that I have to force myself to like a certain music, the only one that probably failed is Radiohead... no matter how much I throw myself to Radiohead like a music slut, I just can't seem to like them. No more bragging rights for having a "cool" music taste, I think that people who likes Radiohead and other extremely slow and odd music are "cool".

I was on Twitter like a few months back and I saw someone twitted a link about a "nice" music video. I actually got a headache after listening to it and that was not a figure of speech. I was literally suffering from a headache and mild motion sickness because the the drum didn't have a rhythm, the other electric sounds were all over the place, it was really really bad. I think they play those type of music in clubs, another reason why I should not go to a pub, because I might actually vomit and get a headache while air grinding some poor soul and catch some sexually transmitted disease.

Time to redefine "Nice".

With a Twitter account that's probably better suspended, I am actually able to blog so much more often. Blogspot is so lucky I chose her over Twitter.

Pfft~ 140 Letters? Pfft~! Pfft~! Pfft~! Pfft~! <- 140 wletter can tell so~ much. Technically there isn't 140 letters but who's counting.

Chronologically Incorrect

In order to really fall in love with KOI Bubble Tea from the get go, it's extremely important to actually get the Milk Tea and not the Bubble Plum Green Tea, which is in the Chewy Category.

When I read "Chewy", I was thinking of something like a jelly drink... like a drinkable Jello because that sounds delicious, and my own assumption of how the drink would be reminded me of that Jelly drink I had in the past that was initially really nice when you first drink it but gets extremely annoying when there's very little left because no matter how much you suck, or how hard you squeeze the bottle, the damn jelly just doesn't want to come out from the nozzle.

Heard of a new KOI Bubble Tea shop that opened in Clementi, I decided to finally go get a cup because maybe the West one would taste as great as the (North,South,East wherever the hell Chinatown is).... you can't judge a bubble tea maker by where they live.

So like all nice and relatively cheap things in Singapore, there's definitely a queue that forms insanely quickly...

I saw the queue as I came out of the MRT Station and it was actually pretty long, there were probably like 30 plus people queuing up, and I remembered one of my friend telling me....

"The queue moves really quickly, don't really need to wait so long, they also make the drink really quickly."

.... after I told her I actually backed out the previous time when I first found out KOI had opened in Clementi and saw the crazy line of people waiting to make their order.

So I queued because I thought the queue would move really quickly, and what do you know she happened to be around the area and she told me the queue was really really long that night.

And she was right... just queuing up to make my order took 15 minutes and another 20 minutes or so for them to prepare my drink. I stood there for 35 minutes for a cup of Bubble Tea. That's dedication... a dedication to being a typical Singaporean.

The drink was not even nice at all because I was trying to be adventurous and try new flavors... bad idea because Bubble Plum Green Tea was "Chewy" type Bubble Tea, when they put Bubble in front of the drink, it just means a crap-load more Pearls... like an explosive diarrhea of Pearls, I was super thirsty and the pearls kept interrupting me from actually drinking the whole Bubble Tea normally because rather than actually having the tea slide down my dry throat, I had to chew the pearls, and those pearls was extremely sticky, and having something sticky sliding down an extremely dry throat doesn't spell "Thirst Quencher".

Was supposed to have NAPFA today but for some reason the tester didn't come, waited for an hour and a half, decided to just do a quick run on the track with my friends since we have all dressed up already. It sucked.

Half the full distance for the 2.4 km run took 6 mins, I need to hit 12.40 mins.

It sounds possible since if half the run took 6 mins, I can probably grab 12 mins easily on the full run. Not really because when God created men, he forgot to add steroids in their body and he prevented men from using their natural adrenaline freely. Apparently you need the key in the Konami code to use adrenaline.

I can only do a single pull up. I couldn't really do a second one after that because I was in shocked to actually to be able to do a single one, plus I got really self-conscious when I saw all the other more well build guys just doing pull ups so naturally. People need to start categorizing people into weak/normal/ fat when doing NAPFA, it really makes it a lot easier when we are doing with people that have the same problem as each other since we get to be embarrassed together while the more well build guys look and laugh at us while injecting steroids into their bloodstream.

It's true when someone said it sucks to not complete the test as compared to actually failing it. That is why when you grow up, aim to be a failure and not a person who gives up easily because when you fail, at least you know that you suck at whatever you suck at.

After that I headed home, but before that was the KOI trip. An entire trip of standing and waiting for a cup of tea that didn't taste as druggy as it would if there were milk in it.

Off to a random topic....

I'm actually really curious to record an entire conversation that I am having with a random person and listen to it, I want to know how lazy I really am that I can't even enunciate my words properly, or how soft I really am because hearing people go "Huh?" after I say an entire sentence of funny is not fun.

Chocolate.

Jason Pollock method makes nasty looking baked treats look even more delicious than they really are...


I would know because I Jason Pollocked these poor bastards and photoshopped the photo like crazy, like crazy means to the best of my photoshopping skills which isn't really that fantastic.

(Rant: Digression)

It really fascinates me when people tell me they are good at photoshop because they know how to adjust the colour curves, and use image filter and blah blah blah. It's like me telling people I am a fantastic cook because I can cook instant noodles because that does not scream basic.

You aren't really good at photoshop, you just suck at everything else. Sorry~

(Digression:End)

If you can't tell what those are, thanks for breaking my feelings. Those are chocolate cookies that are baked to perfection and sandwiched with a smooth, silky (insert more descriptive words from the food porn dictionary) . It actually looks like cookie so I'm just gonna stick with that.

Nope, I won't reveal what they really are....

Nope, Sorry... I'm not going to tell what they are...

It's Macaroons, aren't you persuasive.

Yeah...

"Oh it doesn't even look remotely close to macaroons, for Pete's sake that's not even cookie. It's more like baked poop... You know? because its brown... and because crap is brown and brown really looks like defecate... Like OMG I am so HILARIOUS. "

If only that were true, but it's not, that's why 2girls1cup is so disgusting. Defecate has never tasted so insanely sweet.

In order to bake the goods, my Mum had to go over to Courts to get a new oven, like a mini oven that little girls use, pink, pretty, non-functioning pile of plastic. It would be great if those mini kitchen that little girls get when they were younger had real ovens that work... just give the little girls a real stove to prepare them for the future so they can stay in the kitchen 24/7 and cook for the family....

SEXIST PIG!!!!!

No! that shouldn't be the norm, girls shouldn't stay in the kitchen because peer pressure will prevent me from baking anymore delicious treats that only I myself will consume.

The mini oven worked quite well, its exciting to see the meringues bloat as they are baking, and start feeling like a failure whey they start falling flat.

The Macaroons taste like Macaroons though, its sweet, it's really sweet, and it's really really sweet.

I've actually made some Truffles, it was tough, I had to find a dark and moist place to grow them. Not really... I made chocolate truffles which I stored in a cool dry place called the fridge.

On other news...

I heard of the new project called Mean Girls 2, and I think it's gonna suck. Just putting it out there because when I said The Last Airbender would suck, it did. So I'm guessing what I predict don't always go the other way around. No Tina Fey as a writer? All aboard the SUCK!

If the actresses in Mean Girls 2 said they were fan of the orginal, they are lying! If they really enjoyed Mean Girls so much, they would know to steer clear of a sequel that isn't written by the original writer.

Taco De Mayo

I have a problem.

I only start blogging a lot when school holidays are about to come to an end, like a sandwich, I only start blogging when I am in the peanut butter and jelly part of the PB&J Sandwich which is delicious and ranks only second next to Club Sandwich or whatever sandwich with a generous amount of meant inside (Bacon is my favorite, in fact I love bacon so much I'm gonna call my kid Bacon, and when he grows up he will sell bacon, and eat bacon all day... and die a happy obese boy when he reaches 2 years old )

And you thought I had a real problem... Pfft~!...

Having very few friends is not a problem.

Hardly going out is not a problem.

Being extremely skinny is not a problem.

STOP JUDGING ME!

I had Mexican Food for dinner today... now that's a problem.

I ordered the soft taco with side serving of beef, guacamole, sour cream, some salad salsa combination and a LOT of foul yellow thing people call cheese which they consume and say is delicious even though it smells like concentrated sweat : Just Add Water!.

Being the lazy person that I am, I pictured a nicely done Taco served to my table....

Something like this...

Mmmm.... Gorgeous, all I had to do was just to open my mouth and stick the taco in slowly while my jaws moved up and down at a constant speed.



But instead... what I saw was a small little ceramic pot with 3 pieces of tacos wraps, along with a plate of all the filling...

Like this, but without the hand.

And I was so upset, I called the waitress over, asked her to go into the kitchen and MAKE ME A SAMMICH! She got pissed and shot me in the head with her Mexican gun, she was fired and I am now buried in the cemetry located at Sarcarsm Drive across TheSexistPig Road.


I had to make the Taco myself, and I had a lot of beef, the yellow mass of concentrated sweat was left untouch, and so was the sour cream. Sour Cream and Concentrated Sweat.... really? In a Taco? Mexicans...typical.


Well the beef was extremely filling, and it was only a small ramekin of beef. I couldn't really taste the guacamole, it's like this flavorless slimmy fruit I guess, and the Mexicans aren't proud of it because it no stinko de mayo.


It was a nice dinner though, I'm so sick of Chinese food. Urghhh~
"It's healthy and delicous" is what Nigella Lawson said about Chinese Food, but what she doesn't understand is "Healthy" and "Delicious" don't go hand in hand... that's why I am still single because I am wayyy to healthy its nauseating just to look at me.


People usually go for the "Delicious" type, which is why they either get pregnant with a bastard child or get some sort of STD later on in life. I'm just telling the truth, the bitter bitter truth... Gosh it's so bitter.... so bitter, My Gosh I am so bitter.


Well, Guess now it's time to head to the toilet and cry.

Chocolate Peanut Butter.

Reese Peanut Buttercups.

Probably the best chocolate I've ever had. Peanut Butter and Chocolate is a fantastic combination, and this fantastic combination is not easy to find, like how hard it is to find an uber awesome weapon in Aion or Wally or a Needle in a Haystack because apparently needles cost a bomb. My method is to not sew in a barn with a load of haystack laying around... or stop having sex in the barn and mess up the haystack and instead of smoking a ciggy, takes out a torn clothe and start sewing. Rough sex... tearing. I just made the connection for you.

Orgasm,Orgasm,Orgasm

A few weeks back, or I think it was a few weeks back because the holiday has made me lose track of time,my Mum was able to get her hands on a packet of it in Universal Studios Hershey Choclate Heaven or whatever the shop is called. A pity she only bought one packet because it was meant to be shared and being in a desperate need for an orgasm Reese Peanut Buttercup after finding out that Candy Empire doesn't sell em, I had to get my hands on as much of it as possible, which I did.


I have to say my self control was pretty good because the packet of chocolate lasted for 4 days or so... with my other family members eating it as well. If they didn't it would've probably lasted 4.5 days.... and if I wasn't involve in the candy binge that I am suffering from... probably would've lasted for 4 weeks.




Googled KOI Bubble Tea and came across this one blog... read through the blog (read: browsing through photographs of food taken by a blogger who doesn't know how to use Macro.) And I saw the blogger talking about Reese Peanut Buttercup. Cacao Tree sells the candy.

CACAO TREE SELLS REESE PEANUT BUTTERCUP!

And now is the time to go and look for which Cacao Tree shop actually sells it because I am not going to Unviersal Studios just to get the candy unless I am going Cold Turkey on candy and I am failing because I am as addicted to candy as a hooker is to genital warts.

Forms

I'm suppose to have handed in my NS Information but I can't really be bothered to. At this point, I'm really tempted to just tell the Army I'm gay and just get out of all the Army marching and torturing and just jump straight to getting my ass raped.

"Time to lose your virginity Soldier!"

Another thing that I have coming up is to write on Essay to the lecturers on why I deserve the title of "Hoebag of the Year"

".... Because I am a slut DOH!"

Actually I have to write an essay to convince the lecturers on why I deserve the to be chosen for one of the three projects I have chosen for the Final Year Project, I have to prove my worth through the power of my words.

300 words on why I want a project, whose brief I have read through and do not understand at all. Well I got the gist of it, which I am pretty sure is not 100% accurate because the lecturers decided to use profound English words that people wouldn't use in their daily life.

Words like "Genius Loci".... which I thought meant Genius , but after checking with my friend, turns out to be a whole other thing... instead of Googling "Loci", my friend Googled "Genius Loci" which gave him the proper meaning.

And the proper meaning is.... I have no idea what the actual meaning is because as it turns out, it's like a guardian of sorts.

????So now the whole idea is to create a guardian of sorts to protect a building????

I am gonna put that as my second choice for the project, and when I get it, I will probably get real excited at first because it's all new and unknown and adventurous, and then feel really screwed as I progress along like I do with all my other projects after getting worn out by the lecturers with their amazing, indirect ideas.

School is starting in a week... hoping for a new table and chair arrangement and sitting at a different spot surrounded by different people.

Digression

I've really been craving to bake a cake for months now, but have just been way to lazy to go out to buy the ingredients, or to go out at all really.

All the cake recipes on Youtube that I am so tempted to make, but having to go out and buy the ingredients from the Supermarket and carry everything all the way back is not what I plan to do, which is really sad because I could use a little sunshine on my pale white skin.

Really now I just want to bake to prove to myself that what someone said a long time ago was wrong.

I told that person I wanted to enroll into cooking school in the future, he decides to tell other people later that day... after which he decides to insult my cooking abilities in front of a group of people. You don't get a better friend than that do you. That's just one of the many nice things he has done to me.

(Please get the sarcasm, I feel like I have to disclaimer this part because I F*CKING hate that guy)

So I might actually go out soon to get some ingredients for the bake off, and if I do I will probably document my steps and take gorgeous pictures to post on this blog like how every other bloggers do. I enjoy looking at pictures of food, I don't know why some people find it stupid when you put pictures of food up on your blog, I like it, I dig that, sticking pictures of food on your blog... sometimes it turns me on so much I use it to to.....*cough*

Of course I only enjoy the pictures taken by people who actually know how to use the macro function on their camera, it's that little icon that looks like a flower, you can touch it, it won't make your camera explode... and also I would much prefer if they didn't have last minute parkinson shots which causes all their pictures to look like an earthquake just happened and YOU did not hide under the table, but instead took a fuzzy shot of your Grilled Chicken Sandwich and decides to put it on your blog later and call it...

"So much better than John's Grilled Lamb Vegetarian Salad"

Oh, the irony. John's Grilled Lamb Vegetarian Salad looks so much better than your Grilled Chicken Salad that survived an Earthquake, although I'm guessing the Bhuddist Monks won't be too please that the Vegetarian Salad has something that will shake them to their core that is the wonderful and delicious Lamb grilled by John.

Wish I was called John, maybe I should use that as an alias because it's so much easier to say when the Starbuck's counter person ask for my name. I think I'm gonna tell strangers that I am called John from now on, John, John Doe, and when I become friends with them then will I reveal my real name and that will be the twist to the film that's based around my life called "The Life Of John".

As you can probably tell from the post, my mind is starting to really drift off somewhere else, so I'm gonna stop lest it wonders even further and I get lost in my own thoughts forever... which will be how "The Life Of John" ends.

"Forgive me Father for I have sin. It's been 23 days since my last Tweet"

I'm probably gonna stop twitting for a while, until Twitter can create a proper "Block" system so I can block someone. It would be nice if they had a "banish" command, I will create multiple accounts and banish that person to twitter damnation for twitting politcally incorrect stuff that isn't funny...

You aren't Seth Macfarlene! Nothing politically incorrect that you Tweet, Facebook or laugh stupidly before saying it because you think you are Oh so Hilarious will ever be politically correct.