As awkward as I had imagined....

The Company Dinner this evening went pretty much how I imagine it would.


The mingling session from 6.30 pm to 7.30 pm was so uncomfortable I just wanted to dig a hole and hide. For the first 5 minutes or so, I was just wandering around the foyer, sipping my cup of sprite as I waited for the doors to the banquet hall to open, the foyer was quite crowded but I knew no one there, I hardly spoke to anyone during my first 2 days of work, and being the reserved person that I am, I didn't want to go up to someone in the foyer and go...

"Hey. Talk to me."

... I was waiting for someone to notice me and come talk to me, that did not happen until about 15 minutes later, when one of my colleague came up and introduced her friend to me, that "chat" lasted for about 2 minutes before it just became awkward silence.




As I was standing at the table with my colleague and her friend, wondering in my mind what topic I should talk about to make the quiet go away, I notice a shit tonne of the girls were busy taking selfies, they were all dress to the nines to suit the party's theme "The Great Gatsby" and it was insane how many selfies they were taking, I've never seen so many girls in one place all taking selfies before, so it was really quite shocking to see girls just posing and looking pretty for the camera everywhere I turn, when they see a colleague walk past them, they will pull them into the picture.





The girls were all wearing dresses and the guys were all wearing suits, almost everyone was taking the theme very seriously, and then there I was, standing awkward on my own, sipping my third cup of sprite, wearing my best "I don't give a fuck about the theme" shirt and jeans, carrying my bag pack and looking completely out of place. I kinda felt like I was insulting the people who were dress so glamorously, the amount the time they must have taken to do their make up,  to pair their dress with matching accessories, the research they must have done to style themselves according to the fashion standards of the 1920s and then there is me, spending less than 10 minutes deciding what to wear and then putting it on in the bathroom.




Some of the girls looked good in their make up, others just went a little overboard, there were many girls who were many shades lighter than how they usually looked,  there was that one girl who did not blend her contouring properly I could literally see the brown lines that were suppose to make her nose look smaller on her nose, when contouring is done right, it's suppose to end up looking like a shadow, hers look like some kid had taken a brown marker that was low on ink and drew it over her nose multiple times.




Finally, the banquet doors open after an hour and the employees were first invited to step into the hall to take a group photo, we took a total of 3 photos, the first one was a formal one, the second one was a photo of everyone giving 2 thumbs up *cough* so tacky *cough*, and the last one was a freestyle picture, I'm sure I'm going to look terrible in everyone one of them.



Once the photos were taken, all the other invited guest were ushered into the banquet hall, that includes all the sub-contractors, the material suppliers and even some interior design website representatives. I specifically chose to sit right beside my college who had introduced me to her friend earlier and on my other side is another colleague of mine I had spoken to on my first day during lucnh, I was trying to surround myself with people I felt comfortable turning to and have a conversation with, but then suddenly, one girl who was sitting right across from me goes...

"Let's change seats, so it's all girls on one side of the table and all guys on the other!"

... I have never spoken to anyone on her side of the table, so my instant thought was just "Well, fuck!". I barely spoke to anyone during the banquet itself.




 A host soon takes the stage and starts welcoming everyone to the event, she introduces herself and invites the boss on stage to give a speech, I clapped and smiled when he made jokes and everyone laughed to make myself feel involved, when he finishes his speech, the host returns and goes...

"Let's enjoy the Belly Dancing performance!"

... now that was some funny shit, I had heard the boss talking about a belly dancing performance during the company meeting yesterday, but I thought he was just making a joke, I was totally not expecting there to actually be belly dancers at such a formal event, but there they were, 3 women, making their way to the stage, wearing their belly dancing garb, tits out, midriffs showing, their butts were popping to the beat of the music. I sat there in a moment of disbelief as the belly dancers started their belly dancing routine, when I regained my composure, I just kept averting my eyes away from them, I felt like I was seeing something I wasn't suppose to see, it was so weird.




Midway through one of the belly dancer's solo dance, for some reason, one table decides to give a toast, and they start going...

"YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMM"

... , just getting louder and louder, the belly dancer continues dancing but notices the commotion...

"SENG!"

Talk about being the worst audience ever, let's drown out the music with our Yum Seng so the belly dancer will lose her rhythm. She didn't though, she just kept dancing, I'm not actually sure if she lost her rhythm or not because at that point, I was still averting my eyes from the performance out of pure awkwardness.

When the performance was over, it was time for the first half of the company lucky draw, according to the boss, it was a sure win draw for all the employees, I wasn't really sure if I would be included in the draw, seeing how I had only started 2 days ago, so I wasn't hopeful.

After a few names were drawn and announced, the host decided that she wanted to let people in the audience draw the lots, to make things more fun and let the audience feel more involved, she walks around the room, asks for some people to draw for her and finally arrives at the table I was seated at and goes...

"Here, let's let this handsome guy draw the lot."

.. I was looking away so I didn't know she was talking about me, until she repeated herself and had the bowl right in my face, and then she asks me that question I knew she was going to ask...

"Why are you so quiet?"

... I hate it when people ask me this question, I'm shy, that's why I'm so quiet, I have no friends here, that's why I'm so quiet, the place is loud, that's why I'm so quiet.

So I told her...

"I'm new here." 

... and her response to that was....

"If you are new here, shouldn't you be more open and talk to more people to make more friends?"

Sarcasm

Yeah, I would if it was actually that simple for me, but it's not, so stop offering me stupid advice.

Anyways, before I stuck my hand into the bowl to draw the lots, the host starts asking the crowd..

"Do you wish for Timothy to draw his own name?"

... she had asked this question when other people were helping her draw the lots as well and every time, everyone else will scream "Yes!", because the point of this lucky draw is to not get picked until much later on, when the prizes start getting better, and people obviously want the better prizes for themselves, unfortunately for me, no one in the company really cared if I drew my own name, the crowd's reaction to the host question was just silence, it was so fucking awkward I was cringing until eventually, someone from my table just shouted "Yes!" to save me from that awkwardness.

That is why I don't want to go for this company event only after being with the company for 2 days, because of situations like this.As if being in a completely new and foreign environment isn't bad enough, let's throw in the lack of enthusiasm from your colleagues to make you feel even more out of place and unwelcome.

The prizes from the first half of the lucky draw were all vouchers, I didn't think they would be much, I was honestly expecting $20 vouchers but holy shit, they were all actually $100 Takashimaya Vouchers, a total of 16 people got the $100 Takashimaya Vouchers each, and that is supposedly the worst gift.

The second half of the lucky draw started about an hour later and amazingly enough, the company actually did throw my name into the bowl for the draw, I manage to get myself a voucher for a pretty expensive floor fan...

Fan Q by Stadler Form

... I was eyeing this fan in the past when I wanted to get a fan for my room, but never made the purchase because at $230.00, it was a bit too pricey for a floor fan, now I get to have it for free.

When my name was called and as I made my way to the stage, the host made a joke about me receiving a newcomer award, I thought it was funny, but at the same time, in my head, I kept imagining what the Hiring Manager must have been thinking when she passes me the voucher must be along the lines of....

"You were suppose to get the $100 Takashimaya Vouchers, you lucky fuck, only been here for 3 days and you get to go home with a $230 fan paid for by the company, "

... I felt undeserving of the prize because I haven't really contributed anything to the company yet, but it's a cool prize, I dig it. I have to collect it from the company's office where I work at, wish they would have just given me the fan there and then, so I don't have to go through the process of actually asking them for that undeserving prize.

As the night went on, wines starting flowing non-stop from the bottles to the glasses, everyone was going table to table, either carrying a glass of wine or the whole bottle of it,  toasting each other and drinking, pouring even more and drinking, my colleague whom I had wanted to sit next to got really drunk, she was laughing at everything and the girl who requested to switch seats with me was completely red in the face from ingesting all that alcohol, wines were being spilled all over the table and I could actually see the look of annoyance on the waitress when she had to come over to clean up the mess.



It was so awkward because at one point, everyone from my table had gone towards the other tables, toasting the other colleagues, so I was actually sitting alone at my table, I just felt like a fish out of water. There were some who came over my table to give a group toast and a lot of them cling my cups as well out of friendliness, which I appreciated.

But there was this one girl who came by my table that just wasn't interested in making me part of her toasts,she was dressed in a rather revealing dress, her tattoos were showing through all the cuts and she was holding a bottle of red wine in her hand, and honestly speaking, when I first saw her today at the foyer, the first word that came to my mind was "cheap", and now that she was a little tipsy and was actually holding a bottle of wine in one hand and a half full glass of wine in another, she literally looks like one of those bar hostesses in a sleazy bar that dirty old men patronize. She was standing right beside me as she offered to toast everyone else at the table, and I just sat there, a little unsure if I should participate, I got up and tried to cling my glass with her after she gave her speech, that I did not understood at all, in Chinese, but everytime I tried to connect our glasses, hers just went deeper and deeper towards the center of the table, so I just thought "Fucking New Year to you too" and sat back down, but my colleague who was sitting next to me , the one whom I was bitching about in my last post, noticed I hadn't taken part in that toast and actually clinged my glass and went "Cheers to you too" before sitting down. Now I just feel like an asshole for thinking she was a bitch.

Needless to say, by the time the event ended, everyone who was drinking had red wine stained teeth, some people were getting red in the face and some were just laughing at every single thing. The moment the event ended, I was just glad it was over and got the hell out of there, the whole night has been extremely awkward for me, I would never want to experience that again, that $230.00 fan is not worth that level of social anxiety I had to go through tonight. If I manage to stay in this company long enough until, maybe the next company event next year won't be as painful as tonight, that is if I manage to keep my job and don't get fired.