Fucked it up...

So I just had a Whatsapp Video interview for an Online Visual Merchandiser role and I am pretty sure I completely fucked it up.

For starters, I have no fucking clue what an Online Visual Merchandiser does, I know what a Visual Merchandiser does but adding "Online" in front of the job title is something completely new to me, so my whole goal for the interview today was to learn the what the job entails and what the responsibilities of it would be.

Prior to the interview, when I was reached out by the HR who had informed me that I had been shortlisted for an Interview, I was very skeptical of the position because it was relatively high paying for a role that is supposedly entry level, it sounded too good to be true, plus the company itself didn't have much history, I couldn't find anything related to them aside from their official website, Instagram and Facebook, all of which were newly created only earlier last month, the website had nothing about the company's past works, no introduction to the founders of the company, there was literally nothing but the very generic introduction to their company and what they do, which was basically something like..

"Connecting business owners to the world"

... or something, it would be like my interior design company creating a website, and only have a small passage on the main page that reads...

"Making your dream home come true."

... and not have any portfolio, no proper introduction to the company, no introduction to the designers they have, nothing about what kind of service is being offered, just nothing.

The Instagram and Facebook link was worst, only had the company's logo and that was it, and the Facebook was also created barely a month ago so really nothing else for me to gain any information from. The Instagram had literally nothing posted, the only thing I noticed was that it was following 2 accounts, so I went to look at the accounts it was following and one of it belonged to the HR, which is private and I know it is the HR because the HR has a unique name, the other was also a private account, and the profile picture was not of someone who looked like a business owner or a working professional because it was simply a low resolution photo of a girl eating noodles while using the Tik Tok Twin Filter.

When I went into the interview, I was prepared to have my time wasted, aside from trying to understand the position, I was also planning to ask the HR what the company's future plans were and all that, essentially just to see if they knew what they were planning to do with the company as it was introduced as a start up company. I was planning to be the one who ask the questions and not the other way around.

So I get a video call from the HR at about 11.15am earlier just now, and surprisingly, she looked very presentable,  like a working professional. I think she told me she wasn't the HR who had reached out to me, but I wasn't super sure because I was very flustered trying to get my stupid Bluetooth earphones to work. I was having the interview at my office during working hours and the stupid call was being played on my phone via loudspeaker, it's not nice to be having a job interview at my current workplace, so it's even worst that my colleagues and manager could potentially listen in on it. 

As I was fumbling around trying to check why my stupid earphones weren't connected, the HR started introducing herself and her company, she then talked about what their company is up to and what they plan to do, about their new clients who had just reached out to them and wants to work with them and I honestly couldn't focus because of the fucking earphones were not connecting.

I had to then request for the HR to give me a minute to set up the stupid bluetooth earphones, and when it was finally connected, she ask if it would be alright for the client to join the call, which took me by surprise because I was here to learn what the position is about, but I couldn't say No, so I begrudgingly agreed to it, honestly thinking that the client just gonna sit in and brief me on the job scope and ask me all the generic interview questions. 

I was wrong.

What happens next was just horrible, the fuck up was as bad as my fuck up when I went for the writing internship interview. The writing internship was bad in a different way because at least I knew what the job entails and my fuck up for that position was entirely my fault. 

With his however, not only do I not have any experience in the role, I have no fucking clue what the role actually entails, right after the client introduces himself and his company, the HR goes...

"So my client is planning to do a recruitment drive and we want to know how you would go about promoting this recruitment drive."

... I don't even know the exact nature of the job and now you are giving me a scenario and asking me what I would do in that scenario as an Online Visual Merchandiser, what the fuck is an Online Visual Merchandiser suppose to do? I literally have no fucking clue, I honestly just started staring into space when this was brought up as a question and was silent for maybe a good 5 to 10 seconds because I have no fucking clue how to respond to that. 

This would be the equivalent of me throwing someone who doesn't bake but has bought cakes from a bakery before, into Phoon Huat and then asking them to buy the ingredients needed to make an Opera Cake with zero instructions, like what the fuck?

So I just started drowning in confusion during the interview, I even had to clarify if this was a     Marketing position because it sounded more like a marketing position than a Visual Merchandising position, I mean the whole thing was so confusing. I am not someone who can think on my feet, I need time to really sit down and come up with ideas, so I was just blank the entire time during that scenario role play.

After a while, I just started sharing like a very generic response, saying we should do an online campaign to draw the crowds in and then do a roadshow to introduce what we are doing and it was just BAD because it was so fucking obvious that I was just spewing random generic bullshit out. 

Eventually the HR changed the question and asked me where I see myself in 5 years, and because I am already in flustered mode, I just blurted out...

"Oh, a stable career and hopefully be able to manage my own group of people."

.... I don't want to manage my own group of people. I would make a horrible manager, why the fuck did I even bring that up.

And then the client brings up another question of how I would feel stepping out of my comfort zone, I could answer this a bit better because in my line of work, I am always stepping out of my comfort zone, so I shared that experience with him and then he ask me what I would do it I was presented with another job opportunity in the future, to which I responded that if it is another job scope within the company, than I am open for it, but I am looking to settle down so I don't plan to jump to a different company. I am not sure if that is the answer they are looking for, but that is my honest opinion so I have no regrets with that answer.

The client then thanks me for my time and leaves the group call because he has to go back to work, I was then left alone with the HR and I was expecting her to continue the interview further and ask me how I felt about the call and all that, but instead she just tells me someone will get in touch with me again, saying...

"The other HR will get back to you tomorrow, or maybe in a few days, she will try and get back to you in a week." 

... or within the month, or within the year, or most likely never.

I know the interview went poorly, I would be surprise if the HR actually get back to me after that mess. 

I am an Interior Designer, I have knowledge in Project Management and Interior Design, I have zero Knowledge in Visual Merchandising, much less an Online one, so I was extremely ill-prepared for the interview and fucked the whole thing up. 

So there goes this opportunity, here's hoping for another one to pop up within the next few months so I can actually quit and land a stable career somewhere.

ICT Seventh Cycle - Final Duty

The final duty today went as well as it could have gone, I got up at about 4am today, made a cup of coffee and toast, was contemplating drinking the $200 vitamin supplement because I am suppose to take a cup every morning, but decided not to just because it is a  little too early and I needed caffeine to wake me up. Did a bit of internet surfing and then booked a Grab and headed to camp. 

My duty started almost immediately once I reach camp, I got my rifle and was pretty much doing my duty within the 10 minutes, after the duty was done, I managed to get a Grab within like a 1 minute of opening the app and successfully made my way home an hour later.

The weather was nice on the way out and I was once again very lucky to be able to get a Grab today, I did have back up rides out though, but my lazy ass would rather one shot take a ride all the way home for my last duty.

 And with that, my final duty for this cycle is over! 

I have spend at least $150 for round this reservist because of Grab, it is really quite ridiculous, but I like doing my duty at this part of the camp because it's just so much more lax compared to the main camp. I can sit down during my duty, I can use my phone during my duty openly, there is hardly any traffic during peak hours and half the time I was doing my duty in an air-conditioned room.

If possible, I would actually prefer to come back to this camp during my next cycle, I am even considering taking a rider's license just so I can get a scooter and be able to travel easily to and fro, also having my own mode of transport would be great in general as well for the future.

Anyways, I will have to report to the main camp again on Monday to officially complete this cycle, work also starts tomorrow, have an appointment to attend to, and suddenly I feel the work stress coming back. 

This round of job hunt also feels like it's not really going anywhere, so I will probably start taking projects again and just see how the job applications I have submitted during the past 2 weeks go, if I get an interview and somehow land a new job, then good for me, I will move on and pass my projects to my manager to take over, if not, at least I will still have future commissions to rely on. 

Actively stopping new projects from coming in under the assumption that I will definitely get  a new job was a really stupid move on my part because now, my income is going to be dry for at least the next 3 months.

 Sometimes I can't decide which stress is worst, the stress my clients are giving me, or the stress from not having any projects, all I know is I am constantly stressed. 

Staycation

The Staycation has been stayed.

I was actually quite excited about the Staycation initially, so the night before I leave, I started packing everything I knew I needed to bring and left home the next day in the afternoon. Took a train there and it was relatively fast, about 45 minutes, which compared to when I had to take a bus in the past before the trains were up, that is half the travel time.

I don't go Chinatown often, so the last trip I remember making to that area was when the trains were still not up yet and I had to take a bus to another train station from my house.

Anyways, I reached Chinatown a little early, about 30 minutes before the check-in time, so I headed to Chinatown Point to get a cup of Boost and a few Pastries for lunch, which I was going to eat in the hotel room, I honestly don't have any itinerary for the staycation, the goal was just to stay in the room the entire time I was there and maybe pop by the closest convenient store every few hours to get lunch or a drink or whatever I needed that the room didn't' have.

After I got the stuff for lunch, I went to check-into the hotel and the reception area was really quite small, I go up to the desk, pass the guy my IC, did all the temperature check, declaration form shenanigans and was given the keycard to my room at level 3.

I got myself a Deluxe Queen room and was expecting some sort of deluxe looking space as the name implied, but when I got into the room, I was surprised at how small it was.

Upon entering the room, I am greeted on the left with this little counter which also houses the kitchen/toilet sink, the chair was initially tucked away inside the cabinet so I had thought at the start of my staycation that the only sitting area was the bed. 

The fridge on the right that is tucked within the cabinet is "working", but it's not cold, the lights turn on when I open the door, but there is no cold air inside, it is actually warmer inside than it is outside in the aircon room, so the fridge was useless.

This is the bed, tucked against the wall with 3 pillows, so the counter also acts as the bedhead. This is the kind of thing I will design for my clients, but now that I actually am using it, I am not a huge fan. 

This is the toilet that is directly beside the bed, it has a rain shower, which is nice.

But when I am laying down in bed, the toilet is essentially just right beside me, which I do not appreciate, I mean it's kinda gross to be looking into the toilet while I am trying to get comfortable in bed. There is also no lock on the sliding door, so maybe not a good room to get with friends and family, better with couples, except when you need to shit because I wouldn't want my significant other to just come into the bathroom while I am squeezing.

This is the state of the TV quality, not good, I only turn it on at night to get some background noise going.

I do like the ambient lighting they have chosen to go with, there is no lights on the ceiling, everything is lit through the ambient light boxes except in the toilet, that also means the room never really feels like it is completely lit at night.

One thing I really did not like about the room was the toilet bowl because this is how close my legs are to the glass partition wall. Number 2s were not the best experience, they honestly should have found a way to rotate the toilet bowl because this is not comfortable.

Generally, the room is clean and for the price I paid for, this is the standard I should be expecting, I mean it is a 3 star boutique hotel so can't really complaint too much. In the future though, I would probably choose to staycation at another hotel.

I didn't really explore Chinatown too much, was only sticking to Chinatown Point and that was it, but I did go to Paya Lebar Quarter to meet up with a friend since I was in the area and he ended up selling me his MLM drink, which I stupidly bought. He was very convincing during his pitch and I am as gullible as the old people his company targets, so I ended up getting like 2 months worth of powder for the drink and the price is insane, I still cannot believe I actually agreed to buy it.

He started his pitch by preparing a cup of the drink for me, then told me to wait for 5 minutes and informs me that parts of my body will start to flush, he tells me that he can evaluate the problems I have by the areas that are flushing, and within 5 minutes, I started feeling the tingles on my neck and face and he proceeds to talk about what each area means, I mean when I am physically feeling the flushes and he is breaking down the problems that are causing the flushes, it just sounds and feels very convincing because I am experiencing what he says will happen.  

I believe he thinks it works because he also uses the stuff, apparently for the past 11 years or so, his whole family uses it, his friends gets it from him as well and he shows me photos of his friends before and after they started drinking the product, their skin suddenly got better, their eyebags went away and all that miraculous shit. He then tells me that I am no longer young, so I should take care of myself, and then he goes..

"So how many bottles you want?"

I honestly thought at the start, he was going to give me like a few days worth of sample, just to try it first before I commit to paying for it, but there he was, asking me how many bottles I wanted, he was initially pushing for me to get 6 months, but I told him it was too much, that I didn't want to commit, so he said 3 months, I said still too much, and he finally tells me to get at least 2 months because I can enjoy a slight discount if I get more than 1.

He did a breakdown of the price for me and told me because I will need to drink it 3 times a day, each cup would end up to be at about $7, and I said...

"Oh, like how much I would pay for a cup of bubble tea."

... he laughs, I laugh because my dumbass made it easier for him to sell the product to me, I had self rationalize the price point in my head. It is some expensive shit, it is almost the same price as me going to the dentist to fix my cavities multiple times. 

He passes me 2 months worth, ask me to Paylah him the amount and it just felt really surreal then and there, I was a little skeptical about the product , so a part of me felt like I was watching myself get scam. 

When I finally went back to the hotel later that evening, I started to Google the company and that was when I realize I had just paid for some overpriced, over-exaggerated nutrient powder supplement drink. There are websites that are debunking the product, but those websites look dubious as shit and I believe are the brands competitor just trying to do some damage to the brand because it's written in broken English, but there also aren't any proper reviews written about the drink as well, which is a bit disconcerting.  I do think that the drink is "healthy", but it definitely does not do the things that it claims to,  because if it did, there would already be articles written about it, articles I couldn't find.

I honestly do not know if I should call this a scam because my friend clearly believes it works, that is why he sold the product to me and he himself drinks it religiously, 

Sigh, I was so disappointed in myself. But what to do? Since I already got the product might as well give it a shot and see if it has any benefits, if only I had been an old person, maybe the drink would have had a placebo effect on me. but I am not, and I am coming into it as a skeptic, so if this shit actually shows even the slightest of improvements, I am going to be impressed, but I ain't buying this shit from him anymore. Upside is I got a nice 1 liter water bottle, so there is that.

So getting scammed aside, the other interesting thing that happened happen this morning. I woke up at like 7am, ate some bread I had gotten the day before and drank 1 liter of green tea, was planning to stay in the room until check out time, but then got really bored, so I decided to go to Chinatown Point to get a cup of Boost for 2nd breakfast, like a proper cup of fruit juice, actual healthy stuff and not the dubious health powder I had gotten the evening before. So as I was making my way to the basement, I see 3 security guards trying to squeeze their way into a store that wasn't open yet, one was holding a fire extinguisher and another that was already inside was shouting for said extinguisher, I assume a small fire had happen, but there was no smoke, so I thought maybe someone had broke in and they were trying to use the extinguisher as some sort of blunt weapon to scare the guy out. 

I make my way to the escalator and when I reach the basement, I started to smell a slight burning smell, I didn't think it was a big deal though because the shop didn't look like there was a huge fire happening, it didn't cross my mind that a fire could spread because I am a dumbass, so I continue on towards Boost and then the fire alarm starts going off.

No one cared, everyone just stayed where they were, I looked backed and notice there was now a lot of smoking coming for the direction of the escalator I had just came from, the the announcement was made to evacuate the mall. I headed to the nearest exit and see a bunch of people busy taking photos of the smoke before they left and wondered if maybe I should as well, just for fun, didn't end up taking any though and just left the place empty handed. 

I settled for 7-11 instead, got a cup of iced latte from their coffee machine and some instant oats, and then just waited in the room until check out, which was suppose to be at 12, but I figured I should leave half an hour earlier so I can avoid the lunch crowd in the train.

My bag was so full because of the stupid supplement powder and it was also bloody heavy, that weight really was like a painful reminder. Thankfully, the train was quite empty, so I didn't have to stand during the ride home.

Now that I am home though, I am actually drinking the supplement, will see what effects it will have on me after 2 months. 

Will also be reporting back to camp tomorrow morning at 5.30am, so gotta wake up at an ungodly hour once again later, which is good because I hardly got any sleep in the hotel last night.

Seventh Cycle - 9 Day

For the trip to camp today, instead of taking the taxi straight from home, I decided to go to Simei and have a heavy breakfast first, this way the Grab will be cheaper and I can also get a proper meal before I book in, so I got myself  2 sets of KFC breakfast, a porridge and one of their wraps which lasted me the entire day pretty easily.

It is nice to visit Simei now because that place feels familiar after having gone there almost on a daily basis late last year for a project. Said project had a pretty smooth renovation, I really enjoyed talking to the homeowners, who felt more like friends than clients, they are one of the very few clients I have had so far that I truly enjoy texting and talking to, so Simei brings about positive feelings.

Anyways, I had my breakfast there, got a few items from 7-11, got a Grab and the first thing the Grab lady told me was...

"I almost wanted to cancel your ride because of the location you are going to, I can tell you only 1 in every 100 grab drivers will be willing to take your ride request to go the your camp because we can never get any customers when we leave that place."

... and to think, I was feeling confident that I could actually get a ride out later in the evening because I will not be ending as late as I did previously at 7.30pm, but after what she said, it just made me realize that I was actually extremely lucky to have gotten rides out from there twice the past week.

I reach camp, and I start my duty, the first guy who was doing the duty with me was only doing it for 2 hours, so I figured I didn't want to invest too much time talking to him if he is going to be gone in like 2 hours, I mean I did try a little but he wasn't really trying to keep the conversation going either, so I gave up and started playing with my phone.

2.5 hours later, his replacement finally arrives and because he had to do an extra 30 minutes of duty, he got upset at the replacement, who then kept apologizing and explaining that it was not his fault, that he had to attend a briefing and everyone also got held up, the first guy then left in a huff, saying that it is not fair. 

The replacement, whom I shall just called Harold, was a bit more open to conversation, but he is someone who does things by the book, so he told me that I can't use my phone during the duty because he was just briefed about it, apparently one of their active was caught by one of the regulars for using a phone, so now they are implementing a ban on everyone in the platoon, technically I am not the platoon, I am an ICT, so technically, that ban does not affect, and even if I were to get caught using a phone, the higher ups wouldn't be able to do anything other than tell me to be more "tactical" about it, as ICTs, we are treated and spoken to as equals by the regular commanders. I did tell Harold that I was an ICT, that the ban probably doesn't apply to me, but I could tell how nervous he was about potentially getting in trouble by proxy, and I also didn't want him to get into trouble, so I agreed to his request and put my phone away.

Harold then apologizes to me about it and asks me to sit next to him, so we can spend the next few hours chatting to kill the time. He is a nice guy, but he is also the type that talks more than he listens, and he is a bit of a geek, so he was talking about games and animes, more on the former than the latter because our taste in anime is different.

We started talking about Genshin Impact, a game I have been playing for the past few months, so that went well, I could relate to what he was saying, we talked about our luck in game, how much we spend, he shares this long story about how lucky his sister was because she got all the rare characters. After that, things kinda went a bit dull for me because he started talking about Team Fortress 2, which I never really played a lot of, and DOTA 2, which I don't enjoy playing and haven't touched since 2013 maybe.

He was trying to impress me and telling me about the strategies he used in the game that is very unorthodox, that are "high risk", telling me uses what weapon with what skill and I just didn't know what he was really talking about, and he was talking about it in such detail, I think expecting to be blown away by how insane his tactics are, but once again, I caught no balls...

"I play with my friend, he uses the Zolar and I use Hoalr, then I equipped my Hoalr with Gualr, and get a high crit rate, but because Gualr comes equipped with FHOA, it gives me this buff that makes Zolar invulnerable to BAUA."

.... didn't understand what he was saying, honestly didn't care too much about it, so I just smiled and went "Oh, wow, didn't know you could do that" and all those sort of reactions , and he just kept going on, first with Team Fortress 2, and then with DOTA2, doing the same thing, using terms I don't understand and just going on with his longwinded stories. 

Towards the end of the duty, we started talking about Genshin Impact again because I kinda had enough of listening to him talk about things I can't relate, and so he tells me we can end our duty maybe 5 minutes earlier and he can show his characters to me because he wanted to flex. 

We end 5 minutes earlier and I was honestly more concerned about getting a Grab than his Genshin Impact progress, so I return my rifle, starting packing my stuff and I could sense him hovering behind me, phone in his hand and he gestures towards his phone and then starts showing off  his characters to me. It was endearing I guess, he started flexing to me, showing me the weapons he has collected, the characters he has, I was honestly spending more time glancing at my own phone trying to see if anyone has accepted my request, no one did, the presentation of his lasted for maybe a minutes and he was done, I had to go, so I told him I was going to make a move, he plops himself down on the closest chair he could find and went on to admire his own characters after, I think also a little dejected that I was not as impressed as he thought I would be and a lot of that has to do with the fact that my characters are stronger than his, so it's a little bit difficult to be really impressed.

I head out of the camp, no Grab in sight, kept getting told that no driver is around, that I should try again later. I would have gotten a little anxiety had it not been for the fact that Steven was around, he will be ending his duty 7.30pm,so if I really couldn't find a Grab, I could always hitch a ride out from him, I just need to wait till he was done, which is better than the first time I was stuck in camp with no backup plan on how to leave the base.

So in the middle of me trying to find a Grab and accepting my fate that I will be stuck until Steven completes his duty and drives me out, a food truck comes out from the base and the driver makes eye contact with my desperate self, he could see I was desperate, so he started gesturing to the passenger seat beside him, asking me if I needed a ride out and I took his offer up immediately.

I was so grateful, climbed into the van and this nice driver drives me to Changi Village. The ride took about 20 minutes because he was driving at a speed limit, but I can't complaint, it is a free ride out, he was quite chatty as well so the ride was not exactly 20 minutes of awkward silence. 

I arrive at the bus stop at around 6.45pm, took the wrong bus and reached the closest MRT Station at 7.15pm, it's really quite ridiculous how long it actually took for me just to reach the closest MRT because if I had not been thrown in the East airbase and was in the West, I could have reached home at 7.30pm!

Finally reach Beauty World MRT at around 8pm, got some microwavable food from there and then headed home for the day.

And so with that, I am now left with 1 more 6 hour shift, once that is completed, this cycle will be over, but before that last shift, I will be going for a 1 night Staycation alone, just for fun, decided to book a boutique hotel room using the Rediscover Voucher in Chinatown, will see how that goes, and if it is enjoyable, I might do more solo staycations in the future. I just like the idea of coming into an aircon bedroom and not have to do anything.

Seventh Cycle - 7th Day (?)

Today's reporting time for me was in the late afternoon, so I decided that taking a taxi wouldn't be necessary. I have already spend so much taking Grab rides, being able to have the time to actually just use the bus and train is something I would very much prefer doing.

My plan was originally to go to Simei, have a heavy breakfast and then take a Grab from there because getting a Grab is inevitable, but then I kinda contemplated for a little and decided instead of actually eating at Simei, I will instead buy a sandwich from 7-11 and bring it to camp a little earlier to eat, that way, I don't have to worry about taking too much time to actually eat and potentially reaching camp late.

As I was boarding the bus to head out, Steven then texted in the group chat asking if anyone needed a ride, I immediately took up the offer and I was so thankful because the Grab ride  where I was planning to take from would have cost me $13. 

I headed to where Steven was, which was still somewhere in the east so there was still quite a bit of travelling involved for me, and managed to get a ride to the camp from him. Got my sandwich from Cheers before that and reach the camp 30 minutes before duty was due to start, I wolfed down the sandwich, not very nice but as long as I was full, drew my rifle and then started my duty.

Time felt like it pass by relatively quickly, I texted my friend who got separated from me and is now at the main camp how his duty is like, and it sucked so much for him, it was the realization of how shitty his duty was that made me realize once again that this was a blessing in disguise because I was having it much easier than him. Whoever the commander was that did the planning for their schedule was one lazy motherfucker, doesn't bother to make sure the duty is fairly distributed, I assume what the commander did was just fill the names into the empty slots and then ask the ICT personnel to settle it amongst themselves, my friend got the short end of the stick essentially.

Anyways, my duty went relatively well, had some nice conversations with the active soldiers who were doing with me, only bad side was because there was an exercise happening towards the end of my duty, there was a delay and I wasn't able to leave the camp until 30 minutes later. The great thing is Steven was there as well, so I ended up hitching a ride from him, which saved me another $27!

Overall, today was a decent duty day. I have 2 more days worth of duty to do and after that, this cycle will be over and I will have to return back to work, not so sure how I feel about work now because things aren't looking great! HDB finally got back to me via email this afternoon and told me I was not a suitable candidate for the job, after so many months, but I appreciate the fact that they actually bother to update me, and I know I wasn't right for the job already so no surprise there. Now I am hoping the other companies I have recently applied for will get back to me soon for an interview because I am starting to feel really stressed out about my income coming to a standstill.

Seventh Cycle =- 5th Day (?)

Turns out waking up at 3.30am wasn't really so much an issue for me, it is actually quite nice waking up at a timing when everyone else is asleep. I had a decent amount of sleep, so I didn't feel too lethargic, made a cup of coffee and toast, then watched Youtube videos until about 5am before I booked a Grab and headed for camp.

I reach camp at about 5.40am, and the Grab ride came up to a total of $27. 

The main gates were still closed at that timing, so I had to shout into the camp to get the attention of the active soldiers who were on duty that were busy talking to each other probably like 20 meters away from the gate, it was a little frustrating I had to shout multiple times to finally get their attention to open the gate for me.

After I finally got in, I immediately went to check my Load Bearing Vest and sure enough, someone actually touched it, I know this because I had originally taped the vest with my name on it and the tape was gone, so turns down the guy who misplaced his own LBV was actually inconsiderate enough to just use mine without asking. Thankfully it didn't stink but the fact that he wore it for 6 hours in the afternoon heat and probably sweated in it is gross. 

Anyways, after that realization, it wasn't long before I prepared for my duty, which started without too much hiccup. I was paired with another active solider and at the start, we were having a bit of a conversation going, but then more cars started coming in and I notice he was walking back and forth constantly to open the main gate and then back again to check their credentials before lifting the car barrier for them to enter, it was 20 meters to the main gate, and then 20 meters back to the car barrier, back and forth, back and forth, insanely inefficient, so I brought up how troublesome it must be for him to constantly do that, to which he then suggested that I could help him with the main gate so he can stay at the car barrier area to do his credential checks.

I did, and decided to station myself there for about 80% of my duty because there was a tiny guardhouse there I could just sit in and entertain myself with my phone. The weather was really warm though, the sun was already being a cunt at 8am, shining into the guard house and just heating up the entire small space, I could hardly sit down because if I did, the sun would shine directly at my face so my face pretty much glistening with oil the entirety of the duty.

The duty itself wasn't as relaxing as I was hoping it would be just because there were cars that were entering and leaving so often throughout the morning, so I found myself leaving the guardhouse quite often to open the gate for the vehicles. 

The poor active soldier didn't have his phone with him during the duty, so when there weren't any vehicles and he had nothing to do, he literally had nothing to do, he couldn't surf the net to kill time on his phone, all he could do was sit down and just fiddle around with whatever is lying around the place. I was contemplating to go back and entertain him by talking to him, but then decided against it because it was a little troublesome for me to be constantly moving back and forth for the 6 hours, also because I don't think I have enough energy to talk to him for 6 hours, which is why I only went to him at around 11am when we were left with 1 hour. 

So we chatted for the last hour, talking about animes and mangas because that is the common topic we had, and not long after, my replacement took over me. I went to return my rifle, packed my LBV to be brought home with me because I am not letting that fucker use it anymore and within 15 minutes, was out of the camp and in the Grab on my way home.

I actually manage to get a Grab within 5 minutes this time round, which was surprisingly quick, it was a nice old man and as I was trying to get into the backseat, he suddenly ask me if I wanted to sit in front, I really don't like sitting in front because it means having to talk to the driver, but he suggested so I did, and when I actually went to the front, he said...

"Oh, I thought you wanted to sit in front because of your bag?"

...  not really sure what he meant, but I ended up sitting in front because it felt odd to suddenly go out and then move to the back seat again. Thankfully, he was a friendly old man, so we had a few fleeting conversations back and forth.

During the car ride, I also decided to record how far the camp is from the main road, this was recorded outside the camp, so I am not breaking any rules.

But this is how ridiculously far the trip is.

Sigh, to think I was actually thinking about walking to the main road a few days back at night because it was taking forever for someone to accept my Grab request. 

The trip back was another $27, so I have spend a total of $54 just on Grab fare, I predict I will be spending about $200 in total for the entirety of the reservist just trying to go to camp and back home. 

I also realized I left my Stephen Colbert Tumblr in camp, so fuck my life. 

Seventh Cycle - Day 3 & 4 (Update on Life)

I was just home the whole of the 3rd day and 4th day, if there is anything I am grateful about my reservist, it's the fact that I am not required to report to camp daily.

Took the time during this past 2 days to apply for more job openings and I actually saw the company I had interviewed for post a new listing, this time they updated the job title and changed it to Project Manager instead of Interior Designer, which is what it should have been advertised as from the beginning, I think they probably got a bunch of shortlisted candidates questioning the job scope as well, that's why they decided to change the job title.  If there is no "design work", then the job title should not be Interior Designer, simple as that.

I also realize recently that the HDB Position I have applied for is not what I thought it was.

The job title for that position is Planning Executive, and the job scope they wrote down was quite vague, so I figured it was one of those type that I can learn on the job and slowly get a hang off, but then URA also posted a similar position and it turns out you actually need an Architecture, Building or Civil Engineering background as well as 5 years relevant experience. HDB could have listed down those requirements in their ad, but they didn't, and now I feel like an idiot for having been waiting for their response for the past few weeks.

Anyways, job hunting aside, I will be reporting back to camp tomorrow morning at 5.45am, not looking forward to the fucked up sleep schedule I will have to be doing tonight. I also decided to leave my load bearing vest in camp as well and yesterday, someone from our ICT chat said that they couldn't find his own because he has misplaced it in his house, so now I am very worried that that guy has borrowed mine without asking and used it for his 6 hour sentry duty, I am hoping he was not inconsiderate enough to just use it without asking because it's gross, I don't need someone else to be sweating in my vest for 6 fucking hours and adding thier own stench to it, it already stinks enough as it is. 

Seventh Cycle - Day 2

Guard Duty officially started today.

Since I had already brought all the necessary bulky items into camp yesterday, there wasn't any need to take a taxi to reduce any weight load today, so I took the public transport and it took way longer than I thought it would. What was supposed to be a 90 minutes journey ended up taking 2 hours, I was still one of the earlier ones to reach despite being it being just a few minutes before the reporting time because this is after all a reservist cycle, being told to come on time is always just a mild suggestion rather than an order.

So we had our training in the morning about an hour after the reporting time, repeating the things that we always do every cycle to familiarize ourselves again with everything, but this time, everything was happening much faster because my group is a smaller group and because of Covid, there were some changes to the training, which sped things up. Right after that, we broke for lunch, which was not good, as usual, but I tried to eat as much as I could just so I wouldn't get hungry before my duty started.

Unlike my last few cycles, I was posted to another part of the camp this time around that requires a car to actually get to, and it's not because "walking is too tiring and I don't want to get all hot and sweaty when I reach the place" it is because it is so deep in, and there is literally no bus service that goes there....

... this is the road that leads into the camp, that is how far the camp is from the main road, and the main road barely has any bus services, which is kinda pointless because no one in their right mind would walk all the way into the camp from the main road, it's ridiculous.

I have no idea why they decided to post me there even though they actually called me prior to the start of the reservist to double check if I had a car, to which I replied "I don't drive" , but still for some reason, plops be into this location. 

I did ask if it was possible to be relocated back to the original camp instead because I didn't drive, but the response was that they had to consider the other reservist personnel's personal work schedule, some with cars couldn't go over because they had other commitments to attend to, so they are being put in the main camp.

What logic is that?

So you called them up, asked them if they drove, they said yes, inform them that they will be placed at the more obscure camp location, they tell you they can't because they have other commitments so they can't go that far.

You then called people like me up, ask if we drive, we say no, throw us into the obscure camp regardless, and you don't bother to ask us if we have commitments to attend to like the ones who actually drive because if we do, it is a infinitely more inconvenient for us!

Prioritize the personal commitments of those who drive over the ones who don't, flawless logic. Our duty schedule is actually extremely flexible, so if someone had to work on Monday, they can just tell the commanders to not put them on a Monday duty slot, it doesn't matter which camp you are located that, if you have work on Monday and can't do your duty on Monday, you will not be put on a Monday slot, and even if you have no choice, it makes zero difference because you have a car, you can drive out, the directions will change a bit, but you drive, you don't have to struggle trying to get a ride out to the main road to grab the bus because you have a ride out of the camp.

Anyways, extremely poor planning from the higher ups aside, I was thankfully doing my duty at the same timing as an ICT who drove, which I shall just called Steven, so he was able to get me and another personnel into the camp, which was great and everything, you'd think...

"Oh, someone has a car, so no issue there then, he can also drive you out!"

...well, you are very wrong. 

Steven and the other personnel duty ends at 6pm, mine ends at around 7.15pm to 7.30pm. If I wanted a ride out, he would have to wait over an hour for me, and it won't just be him that will be doing the waiting, I will also have to make the other personnel wait because he also needs a ride out.

Steven did ask me how I will get back and he did suggest that he could wait, and the other personnel also didn't mind waiting, but I just felt really bad so I told them that it was fine, that I will just take a Grab out once I was done. I didn't want to eat up any of their time. 

So the duty starts and I get send off the another part of the camp to do my part, at around 6pm, I get a call from Steven, and he once again asks me how I will be going back because he is leaving soon since his duty has already ended, I reiterated that I will Grab home, thank him for asking and then insisted that he go back first, so he does.

My duty finally ends at around 7.15pm, I return my gun, packed up my belongings and headed out to the rest stop just outside of the camp to try and get a Grab, the fare was about $28

I tried twice and it ended with "no drivers available" after a few minutes of searching, so I downloaded the Comfort DelGro app and the fare was $44, which was insane, but I was desperate, so I tried to find one through it thinking that it will be easier to get a driver because of how much more fucking expensive it is compared to Grab. Couldn't find a driver as well.

I then went back to Grab and kept trying, it kept failing to find any nearby drivers.  

I was so desperate I wanted to ask some random active solider who was coming out from the camp to give me a ride out, but my social anxiety prevented me from doing so, at one point, there was another soldier who was waiting for a ride as well in the area I was waiting at, I figured he had either successfully gotten a grab or was waiting for someone to pick him up.

Someone eventually drove up the long road and he enters the car, it looked like his Mum and I could vaguely hear her asking him if he knew me, probably wanting to offer me a ride out, he shrugged her off and said he didn't and they just drove off. If she had actually asked me if I needed a ride out, I would have taken it immediately, but the son ended the possibility of that happening almost immediately the moment he got into the car, so there I was, without a ride, waiting for a driver to accept my Grab request.

I honestly thought I wouldn't be able to go home tonight because there was literally no way I was going to be able to walk all the way out to the main road, it is way too far and quite dark as well, and because it is so far out, I figured the drivers were also not very interested driving in to pick me up. 

I tried the app again and FINALLY after 20 minutes of searching and cancelling, someone finally took the job and I just felt so relief. I was so happy when I saw the car driving up the road to pick me up.

I got into the car, and as the guy did a U-Turn and started driving down the road, it just made me realize that walking out is simply not an option because the drive itself to get out was already taking quite a while, I can only imagine who much longer it would take to reach the main road by foot.

Anyways, the fare eventually came up to a total of $27, a cost that is non-avoidable because of what the higher ups did by throwing me into such an inconvenient location despite knowing I do not have a car and I have to go back 4 more times! The good news is I will only have to deal with this issue one more time next week, the other 3 times, I will complete my duty with someone who actually drives, so hopefully I can get them to at least drive me to the nearest bus stop or train station.

I am honestly contemplating to rent a car for that one inconvenient time because I was so stressed out.

The trip back and forth would set me back by $54 via Grab, if I rent a car, it will cost me about $68, so that is an additional $14. 

Decisions, Decisions.

Decisions I wouldn't have to be making if the higher ups actually made sound decisions and only threw people who actually owns a car to the obscure camp.

Upside is I don't have to report to camp until Saturday, downside is I have to report to camp at 5.30am on Saturday, because who gives a  fuck about a proper sleeping schedule.

Seventh Cycle - Day 1

The Seventh Cycle has officially begun and this time round, things didn't go according to how I thought they would.

So usually for my Reservist, I will always have this one friend who accompanies me during the cycles, almost like security blanket for socialization, but then this morning when I went to book in, I realize that we were put into different groups because of the Covid situation. 

We don't break into groups at the start, usually the groups will only get broken up into after the initial few days of training and usually my friend and I will go to the same group, the other group will then head to another more obscure and difficult to reach location to do their reservist duties. I have never considered going to that more obscure location before because it is extremely inconvenient if you do not have a car, the nearest bus stop is almost 2km away so it just didn't make sense for me to volunteer myself even though it is supposedly a lot more relaxing there because of the reduced traffic.

Well, I didn't have a choice for this cycle because after booking in, I was just told that I was part of group B and I notice my friend was part of group A, at the start I didn't really know what the group meant, but then it clicked and as I was walking to the briefing room for group B, I ran into my friend and shared the bad news with him, he told me it probably isn't what I think it was, and so for that short moment, I tried to tell myself that they are just breaking us into 2 equal groups to do the training, and once that training is over, then we will be properly broken into the 2 groups to decide who goes where. 

But then the more I thought about it, the more redundant it sounded, why would they bother breaking us into 2 groups, only for us to combine so they can break up into 2 groups again. It really didn't take long for me to come to the realization that this will be the first cycle were I will be going solo, but there is always a first time for everything.

The briefing itself was so dull, and it's made worst by the fact that I had no one to talk to, I did have someone at the start, but it was only temporary because once his friends joined him, I just wasn't very interested to be part of the conversation anymore, his circle of friends are those gangster ah beng type that I really do not want to be a part of, and then after that, he went to defer and was successful, so he left about 2 hours later. 

At that point, I was truly flying solo, I was barely talking to anyone, I knew a few faces but I have never spoken to them during the last few cycles before so it felt weird to just pop into their conversation. It was such an arduous morning / afternoon, the breaks felt like they were taking way too long, lunch wasn't great, but the upside is that the room was fully air-conditioned, so I wasn't feeling all oily and sleek.

As the day went by, the idea of being able to stay the night felt more and more impossible, then the thought of having to move all my things that I have brought over today, including my change of clothes, my towel, slippers, toiletries, the bullet vest, to the obscure location the next day, it just felt so tiring. During the last few cycles, I never had to worry about that, I would just leave them in the bunk and only worry about them maybe 2 weeks later when the cycle is over.

Finally, towards the end of the day, our timetable was finally shared and the workload this cycle really isn't too bad, it is probably 4 times lighter than usual because of Covid and we are given long enough breaks in-between our duties to really go home, it really feels like I am going for a regular 9 to 6 job, except instead of having to go everyday, I only need to go maybe once every 3 to 4 days, which is pretty much like my current job's schedule and I will have to take a taxi instead of the bus.

Staying in today was also not an option, the commander made it extremely clear at the end of the briefing that no one is allowed to stay in, so I had to go home and that is why I can't blog about the first day today, this means that for the next 2 weeks of reservist, I will be able to sleep in my own bed every nigh, not such a bad thought, just not a huge fan of the huge taxi bill I will be incurring.

Tomorrow will be the official start of my duty, so I will see how shitty it gets.