Rotting at home.

Staying at home right now with absolutely nothing to do except game.



I have reached that point in my life where doing that the whole day actually makes me feel really useless, it's like when a fat person knows he has to go on a diet but he can't help it, his hand just automatically dials the McDelivery number....  except I am not fat but I am pretty sure my liver isn't at it's optimal condition.




So I have essentially been spending my entire week at home gaming and playing MMO games like it was pre-enlistment all over again, except with Pre-Enlistment, at least I know there was something to "look forward" to, right now it just feels like I am wasting my time doing absolutely nothing productive at home when I could be outside earning money and hoping to get off work so I can go back home and do absolutely nothing productive.... and not feel like I am wasting my time.





One thing I really need to do now is to actually quit my old job because now I am just doing the carrot and stick approach with them, giving them false hope that I will go back in my free time to help out the kitchen when I have absolutely no intention of ever going back to work there again. The biggest problem right now is that they are holding to to my pay for last month, which probably amounts to less than $500, not a lot at all considering the amount of work I had to do.




When I say work, I don't mean the amount of hours I clocked, what I mean is the actual work I do. When I say I work for 6 hours, I mean I am literally working non stop for 6 hours....


First 2 hours - Preparation of cake batter, different whipped cream, creme brulee, brushing ramekins with butter.


Next 2-3 hours - Non-Stop preparation of desserts for the lunch crowd, which doesn't slow down until like 2 pm, there's always a line outside the restaurant,  it's fucking amazing how some Singaporeans can actually queue up despite the crazy long line of people, I mean there are like 20 people in front of you waiting to be seated, maybe wanna try eating elsewhere so I can actually take a break . The only time I would actually queue up is when I am buying bubble tea, well actually that's equally WTF so I have no right to be judging them I guess. All I can say is, the desserts I prepare in the restaurant are never made with love. My heart and mind is filled with stress, there's no space for "love".



Last 1-2 hours (they always make me do slight less than an hour extra) - A mix of preparing orders for customers and doing more mise-en place for the dinner crowd. And if the person who's taking over me is late, which he always is, I will have to handle the initial dinner crowd or what I would call the pre-cum of dinner customers. I get the most tense when I see group of teenagers comes in at like 4 pm because you know those are the damn customers who are going to be ordering the specialty desserts because they saw pictures of it on their Social Networking Sites.



Oh, and then after that it's my lunch at like 4 pm or 5 pm depending on how late the person taking over me is, the latest I had my lunch was at 6 pm, and I only had my bread for breakfast like 7 hours earlier.




Whereas in a desk bound job, when I say I work for let's say 8 hours...


First Hour - Doing actual work.


Next 2 Hours - Open new tab in Internet Browser and log into Facebook and Twitter. Go for a toilet break every half an hour.


Next 1 Hour - Go for lunch.


Next 2-3 Hours - Mixture of work and browsing the internet but mainly browsing Youtube and looking for music videos to listen to and watch when no one is around.  And then go home.




And even with that I still get paid more in a desk bound job.




That's why Passion is so important in the F&B industry because it's passion that will blind you from the fact that your are actually being overworked, underpaid and thinking that that's actually a financially stable job, well it kinda is because all your supposed "free time" is spend in the kitchen and your actual free time is spend sleeping at home to get your body rested for the next day, and the next day and the next day.... those smart ones who actually realize the vicious cycle, which goes on for quite a while because that vicious cycle will end eventually when you get to the top, will actually go and do teaching in a culinary school like all my Chef Instructors... get a decent pay and have work-life balance.