Drew and the Tea

Gonna rewrite this post now that I am home from the trip and have access to my keyboard and computer.



I was in Seoul when I first typed out this post, and I had been feeling rather vex at the way Drew didn't come across as keen as I thought he should about our time together in Seoul. The original plan had been for us to hang out from the 3rd day onward, once his first half of the trip with his family was done and they had gone home. I was really looking forward to hanging out with him and was imagining us meeting up everyday for breakfast at a new cafe, and then explore different neighborhoods through cafe hopping together.

In my mind, I was picturing us having so much time together that we could actually take things slow on certain days and just hang out in a cafe to read our own books. I remember even telling him before the trip about my worries that he would get bored of me and he assured me then that he wouldn't.

So that was what I thought was going to happen when I first committed to this trip with him.

His part of the trip starts and for that entire week, the text started to slow down significantly, we went from sending daily text messages to each other, to just once every 3 day, I figured since he was with his family, it's only natural for him to focus his attention on them.  I didn't want to be greedy since I knew I was going to see him soon and we will be hanging out a lot then!


The day arrives and I head to Seoul, he actually texted me to ask me where I was whilst I was having my dinner at Myeongdong, and he just happened to be walking around Myeongdong as well because his hotel is within the area too.

We met up and it was nice to see him because at this point, we hadn't seen each other for 3 weeks, due to him just constantly falling sick, which led to us not being able to go out for meals over the weekends together before his trip.

We headed to a Matcha cafe nearby and just started catching up, he talked about how his trip had been and how he loved being in Korea because it was cold and nothing like Singapore, and when we were done with our drinks, he followed me to my hotel just to take a look at my accommodations, we chat even more, and then that was when he told me he couldn't join me as much as we had originally planned.

This was the original plan that I was really excited for...

Wednesday - Solo Day (My arrival day, and makes sense to be solo because I will only reach my hotel in the evening)

Thursday - Solo Day

Friday - First Half of the Day Solo, Latter Half of the Day with Drew  once his family leaves

Saturday - Full Day with Drew

Sunday -  Full Day with Drew

Monday - Full Day with Drew

Tuesday - Full Day with Drew until our individual flights back to Singapore. Mine was in the late afternoon and his was at midnight, so we could still spend breakfast and an early lunch together. 

The new plan..

Wednesday - Solo Day (My arrival day, and makes sense to be solo because I will only reach my hotel in the evening)

Thursday - Solo Day

Friday - Solo Day, (His family's flight got delayed until night, so our half day hang out session was gone)

Saturday - Full Day with Drew

Sunday -  Full Day with Drew

Monday - Solo Day, (His friends were coming in on Monday to surprise him, so he was going to hang out with them the whole day)

Tuesday - Solo Day, (... because he only gets up at 11am and I have to leave for the airport at 1.30pm, which means there is essentially no time to meet up, it's really the lack of effort on his end to try and get up early to spend the morning with me that really made me question my priority level in his eyes during the trip)

I mean look at how drastic the change is, it went from a trip with Drew to a solo trip with a bit of Drew along the way, not gonna lie, my reaction was a bit slow and I had told him it was fine when he told me the change of plans, that all I cared about was him hanging out with me over the weekend, but the more I thought about it, the more upset I got because I came on this trip under the assumption that we were gonna be hanging out a lot, but that turned out to be untrue.

Oh! And here is a kicker! 

He decided he was gonna switch to a hotel in Gangnam on Friday, the supposed start of our trip together after his family leaves, a hotel that is a 40  minutes train ride away from me! 

You stay within walking distance to my hotel on the days you are unable to hang out with me because your family were around.

But on the days when we were suppose to hang out, you fuck off all the way to Gangnam.

It was giving "I don't really want to hang out with you"

Anyways, he leaves after our meet up that night and I literally did not hear from him at all on Thursday and Friday, not a single text message, ESPECIALLY ON FRIDAY, when I was expecting him to text me at night once his family was gone, to firm up the location to meet, and I mean now that your family is gone, they are not taking up your attention anymore, so maybe you can direct it to the person who decided to join you on this trip instead?

There was nothing, and I was extremely upset about it because it made me feel like an afterthought. I decided to be the one to text because he clearly wasn't, so I did and ask him how he's doing? To illicit a response from him so we can then talk about our plans for the next day.

No reply...

We had talked about meeting up at 1pm when we had that short meet up on the day of my arrival, but hadn't set a location. 

Anyways, at around 11pm when there was still no response, I started to get really worried that he might have potentially ditched me, so I wrote an Instagram story to whine about it, but only to a select group of people in my "close friends" list.

Drew messages me back at almost midnight and confirmed the 1pm timing with me, but again, not a location.

The next day when I got up, I texted back immediately to confirm the location with him in the morning, but there were no updates, and by 11am, I was so fed up I decided fuck Drew, I am not going to waste my fucking time in the hotel room for him for a plan that is in the "maybe" stage, so I decided to visit Namsam Tower and just accept the fact that we will probably never meet up at 1pm, and if we aren't meeting that day, then that will be the end of whatever we had because that is just fucked up! 

It was so upsetting because in that moment, I really felt like Drew ruined Korea for me, not just the trip, but everything related to it because he tells me he loves Korea so much, and every time I watch a K-Drama or listen to K-Pop, I will think of him and how he fucking ditched me! 

At around 12noon, I dropped him another courtesy text and just told him we will probably not be meeting at 1pm anymore because I was currently stuck in a queue visiting Namsam Tower, and he FINALLY replies back at 12.55pm.

12.55pm! 5 minutes before we were originally suppose to meet.

"It's okay, let's meet at a cafe near Namsam instead then!"

No apologies for the late reply, no explanation as to why he only replied now, just "it's okay".

Anyways, we did eventually meet up at the cafe (he was like 20 minutes late) and I did have a good time with him, he proceeds to tell me how tired he was feeling after sending his family to the airport and back again. I mean sure, that makes sense, the travel from Seoul to Incheon, and then from Incheon back to Seoul is exhausting, especially because his family had a night flight, it must have been all the more tiring for him.

The day ends, and we had a great time, we spend the whole day together from 2.30pm - 8.30pm, then we went our separate ways.  (Although to be honest, to be meeting from 2.30pm onwards was more like a half way meet up instead of a full day one in my opinion, because when I was thinking of "full day", I was expecting to meet each other in the morning for breakfast and then spend the whole day together until after dinner, that is full day)

I had a bit of coffee to drink during that hang out session, so I actually ended up having some trouble sleeping that night, I remember Drew had visited the cafes we visited before during his last trip, so since I was bored, I decided to just go to his Instagram page to look for the photos from his previous trip and compare it to what we had, that was when I noticed I couldn't see any of his Highlights, they were suddenly all gone.

It was really weird, I kept refreshing his page but the highlights just weren't there. I thought maybe it was a glitch, so I switched to my alternate profile, searched up his name because his profile is public and viola, I could see all his highlights with my alt account, and I noticed he had new stories as well, I didn't click immediately but went back to my main account to check, they weren't showing up. 

That was when I realized he had blocked me from seeing his stories! I didn't know why, so I switched back to the alt account and viewed them.

It was a mirror selfie with the caption

"Got dead drunk at Itaewon last night but I survived!"

... that was why he was so unresponsive! He wasn't tired from sending his family to the airport, fuck, he still had enough energy to visit a fucking club to get drunk! And I believe this was the reason he moved to the Gangnam area, because it was closer to where all the clubs were.

That revelation made me feel really weird, and then a few hours later, since I was still wide awake from the damn caffeine, I used my alt account to check his profile yet again, and he had posted another picture of a tray of shots, he was at the club again, getting drunk, right after our hangout, when he told me he was "going to the gym" later.

We were going to meet the next day, but after seeing that, I wasn't so sure if we were because I was wondering if he would even be able to get up to meet me. 

I finally went to sleep, but feeling really uncomfortable about this whole situation and woke up to see my main account having access to his highlights again, after breakfast, I noticed he had posted a new story and it was a photo of the view from his hotel room, all the clubbing photos were gone, they were not gone because 24 hours had passed, they were gone because he had clearly deleted them so I wouldn't be able to see them before he unblocked me. 

He did drop me a text that morning at 11am and requested we meet a little later instead at 2pm because he had just woken up, he doesn't know that I know why he was so tired, but I know and it made it really weird.

We met up on that day as well and again, he was like 20 minutes late, it was bad because I was waiting at the station for him and he told me he will be late, but offered no ETA, so I literally was waiting there not knowing how long he will take.

When he arrived, I just waved at him, but on the inside, I was upset at him for his thoughtlessness and I was also very skeptical of him because he has clearly been hiding his clubbing activities from me, and it's not about him going clubbing that irks me, but the fact that he feels the need to hide it from me. Like why do you feel the need to withhold that information from me? 

I just felt really sad about the whole thing because it means he feels completely fine lying to me, I was talking to him with so much skepticism during the first  hour of our 2nd meet up, trying to spot the lies from his stories, and maybe he doesn't outright lie to me, but he is definitely not telling me the full story when it comes to certain things, like his clubbing at night.

I have very very mixed feelings towards Drew right now because when I think of the Seoul trip in general, I had fun and it was because of him, but then when I think about him on a deeper level, I start to question if all that "change of plans" that he had shared with me were fabricated just so he can spend more time going to the club to meet Korean guys to hook up with, instead of hanging out with me, everything just becomes iffy and whilst I did have fun hanging out with him, my trust in him has also taken a significant dip.

The general vibe I got from this trip was...

I wanted to spend time with him, he just needed someone to spend time with.

Anyways, we are both now in Singapore and he did drop me a text to let me know he has landed at 5.30am, and I just send him a text to welcome him back, but we have not exchanged any further messages after that.

I have since started swiping on Hinge again, it honestly feels exhausting to have to go through all that one more time, but hopefully, I will find my walking green flag soon.