Since my final practical evaluation, I've gone for 5 revisions in preparation for the upcoming test, thinking that would be sufficient, instead of going just once a week, I went to book 2 lessons every week, I thought the more I go, the better I will be at driving. Turns out that was not true in my case.
After passing my practical evaluation, I went for my very first revision 2 days later and by the end of that revision lesson, the main thing I took away from that lesson was that me passing the evaluation was a complete fluke, the instructor who was assigned to me for my driving revision lesson actually told me that had he been the one who was evaluating me, I would have failed. Just what I needed, negative comments, and it wasn't just at the end of the lesson, through out the entire revision class I would get comments from him about how sub par my driving was, but I can't blame him, even I thought my driving was shit and couldn't believe I actually passed my evaluation on the first try, that first revision lesson was really meant to be a fall back, should I have failed my evaluation the first time, which I really thought I would have, I would be able to go for a second one 2 days later, because if I didn't manage to attain a pass for my evaluation that week, the system will automatically cancel my booked Traffic Police Test slot and I will have to wait another 2 months before I can actually go for the test.
During my second revision, the instructor that was assigned to me was this particular instructor I didn't really like because he was really stern and he had this resting bitch face which made me not want to ask him any questions I had that needed answering. But I really needed him that day because the previous instructor said I asked too much questions during my lessons with him which gave him the impression that I was a nervous wreck, which in my defense isn't completely true, I was just asking questions to try and keep a conversation going when the silence in the car was getting dragged on a little too long.
So it was a good thing I got the resting bitch face instructor for my second revision, he wasn't my favorite but he was necessary because I don't feel obligated to start any conversations with him during lessons as compared to my other instructors. The whole lesson was actually not unpleasant, he wasn't as fierce as the last time few times I got him, which was a lot, probably because I am now a slightly decent driver and am not endangering our lives. Once in a while he will give me advice, albeit with a very annoyed tone, but overall that lesson actually went pretty smoothly and when he's my instructor, I tend to remember the lesson a lot better because every time I screw up, I get scolded by him, as such, every time I am about to commit a similar mistake many lessons later, I will have that unpleasant exchange pop up in my head and remind me how big of a fuck up I was that many lessons ago when he was teaching me.
My third revision instructor was a pleasant guy, he taught me once many weeks ago and I was surprised he remembered my face, I always thought after the lesson is over, the instructor will just forget about you and that thought has always tempted me to want to test drive my Mum's car around the neighborhood just for fun, or to take over the steering wheel when my Mum offers to pick me up from the office to send me home because should I run into an instructor on the road, they probably won't recognize me, especially because I only go for lessons once a week, luckily I was able to resist that temptation because apparently, the instructors do remember faces.
So the third instructor was very patient and pleasant, although he did went for like a 5 minute toilet break in the middle of the lesson which I did not appreciate. That toilet break of his cost me roughly $3.50, it was then did I remember him pulling the same stunt the last time he taught me, he went for a toilet break as well the last time. At the end of the lesson, he passed me a test paper to show me how well I fared, not surprisingly, I failed miserably.
What the instructor always tells me about going for my Practical Test is to never score any points for my Circuit, I should have a perfect score for my circuit test and all the points that could be deducted should be deducted on the test route because the public road is more prone is unforeseen circumstances like roadworks, or a fucking kid or old lady running across the road the last minute, or some inconsiderate experience driver not wanting to give way to let you lane change because they get turned on from being a complete asshole and are begging to be sodomized every time they honk their car horn at you, I've never met those who actually honk at learner drivers but I'm sure those sacks of shit exist somewhere.
Fourth lesson was pretty enjoyable, the instructor I got was very friendly and chatty and he remembers me because I wrote in a feedback to the school complimenting him, he was the one who passed my practical evaluation. Every time he teaches me, it ends up being quite enjoyable because he's quite a chatty instructor, he will ask me about my life and talk a bit about his, once in a while he will make some horrible joke about other the other leaner driver's cock up, which although was really mean, made the lesson really enjoyable. Apparently I thrive on meanness, if it's not directed at me.
He took an effort to write down all the mistakes I made, which was about 3 papers long and gave those to me to bring home and read through, so that lesson went well and that put me in a good mood when the lesson ended.
My final lesson, which was today, was nerve wrecking, I was so worried about the instructor I was going to assigned to, I wouldn't mind getting the resting bitch face one but I would very much prefer this particular instructor I got a few weeks back who was very friendly, chatty and very patient, in fact, whenever I am being taught by him, I always end up making a lot of mistakes because I would get so distracted from chatting with him. If I were to be honest, he's probably the least effective instructor I have come across, not because he's bad, but because I am never able to absorb anything he's teaching me, sure maybe for like the duration of the lesson I will be able to remember, but after that, all I remember is we had a good time chatting and that's it, everything else about the lesson on the other hand just gets forgotten, the last time he taught me, the same thing happened, I forgot everything and when I got back the following week and was assigned to the resting bitch face instructor, I ended up getting scolded because I forgot what I had to do at the slope course in the circuit.
So today, I was assigned to that very instructor I was hoping to get, and I was very happy because that meant the lesson would be very pleasant, albeit one that will probably be filled with careless mistakes.
It wasn't.
When he realized my traffic police test was on Monday, he suddenly had a change of attitude and became this stern and unfriendly guy who would raise his voice when I made a mistake. I remember when I was doing my S-Course, as I drove into the course, he just sighs, opens his side of the car door, gives me this "What the fuck are you doing" face and just looks at the kerb I was about to hit. It was scary because he was always so nice and all of a sudden, he became as stern as the resting bitch face instructor.
He wasn't like in anal mode the whole 100 minutes, sometimes he would be friendly, but then there will be times he will be in "Fuck You" mode. There was this one time I looked at him after he had raised his voice at me to acknowledge his feedback and he just smiled back at me... it was so fucking weird.
When he brought me out to the test routes, it was a quiet drive, I just didn't feel like starting any conversations with him after how things went down in the circuit, normally I would when I was with him, but today, I just really didn't want to anger the beast by asking stupid questions that a driver like me who has gone through all the practical lesson should know.
Needless to say, today's lesson was a fucking disaster, I was so frustrated through out the whole 100 minutes because of all the mistakes I made, and to have them be pointed out by that instructor and be scolded by him just made it so much worst. When the lesson ended, the instrucotor asked me..
"So how ? Are you confident about passing your Traffic Police Test?"
After the way he berated me, fuck no, but obviously I didn't reply Fuck No, instead I just pretended that was a rhetorical question and just told him the stations I didn't have much confidence in and the problems I had with them, which really made me even more confused because the problems I had weren't directly related to the solutions he was telling me.
I went home feeling very demoralized about the upcoming test on Monday. If anything was to be taken away from today's lesson, it's that I'm going to fail my test on Monday.
The last few days, I always had like a small inkling of hope that I might pass my test on Monday, but after today's lesson, that hope has been extinguished. It's like the instructor took that last inkling of hope I had and just crashed when he said to me right after the lesson started...
'EH, YOU TAKING TEST ON MONDAY STILL THIS STANDARD AH?"
I'm fucked.
If I don't pass this Monday's test, I'm going to have to wait until maybe the earliest July and by that time, if I get into Uni, I won't have time to go for lessons and book the best time slot for the Traffic Police Test.
If I fail Monday's test, I'm afraid I'm going to just fuck all and not be bothered about getting a license anymore. This lesson today is already so fucking demoralizing, I can't imagine what would happen when I get told by my tester officially that I have failed my practical on Monday. It would be a huge weight off my should because the nervousness of waiting for the test is killing me, but at the same time, that's 200 bucks gone just like that and I've been pouring a shit load of money into the school, if I fail and have to retake, I will probably hit the $3000 mark just to get my fucking license.
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