A Lack of Faith

I thought I would have been able to clinch a new project today but things didn't really go the way I had originally planned.



My New York trip is happening in about 2 weeks time and for the past 2 months, I have been telling myself that I do not want to clinch a new project because I didn't want to have any work related calls interrupt my trip, with the different timezone I will be in and everything, it's going to be a nightmare to deal with.



Even though that was what I told myself, I still accepted new customer leads from my company with the hopes that I might be able to get one or two new projects that will only start after I am back from my trip, to act as my safety net and actually keep me busy when I am am back from the trip.



A lot of the customer leads I got were a waste of time, which isn't surprising, a shit load of them were not responsive when I attempted to reach out to them, and the ones who responded back would tell me that they are either too busy to meet or are overseas, so most of the leads I got just ended up being useless, which is pretty worrying because my company actually pays a web portal for those low quality leads and they don't come cheap.



But I did meet up with a few of them and one particular couple which I shall refer to as Jenny and Jonny had huge potential.



When I first met Jenny and Jonny, I didn't really have a good impression of the latter because during the entire consultation, he was sulking at the side after complaining to me about how he had to park so far away to reach my showroom, not realizing there was a shopping mall literally right across the road he could have parked at, Jenny on the other hand was pretty calm despite the long walk she had to take with her husband, so she shared with me what she wanted to do with her space and her requirements were pretty extensive because she wanted to do a lot of carpentry work to fully utilize the space in the house, so I listened and then once the session was over, prepared a quote within the week and send it off to Jenny.



I really wasn't expecting to hear back from them again after because I just didn't like Jonny's attitude during the first meeting, I am going to be working with them for at least 2 months should they decide to engage me and if that is the kind of attitude I am going to be getting from Jonny, then good riddance, but surprisingly, Jenny actually reached out to me 2 weeks later and requested to meet up again to run through the quotation, sharing with me that she had some changes she wanted to make. I was pretty free during this period, so I agreed to the meeting and also prepared a Sketch Up drawing to show them how the space would look with the layout I was proposing.




During the second meet up, everything was so much smoother, Jonny was so much calmer and actually really friendly, and the mood was just so much lighter, the consultation went really smoothly, but Jenny had a lot of new requirements that I wasn't really keen on doing, because her new requirements required me to get in touch with suppliers that were notorious for being difficult to deal with, so after the consultation, I honestly started to lose interest in the project really quickly, that being said, at that point, I still wouldn't mind taking on their project because the concern I had with suppliers I had to get in touch with was nothing compared to my lack of projects on hand.




So I updated the quotation and then send it to Jenny once again, I wasn't trying to scare them away and just prepared the quotation accordingly, not really overcharging them for anything. I knew my prices were slightly above average, but it's really not up to my control, my contractors just aren't cheap and since I didn't really mind taking on the project, I just charged them as per normal, if they wanted to come to me, then that is a project to add to my list, but if not, then fine, I will refocus on getting more clients once I am back from my trip.




2 weeks after the second consultation, Jenny reaches out to me again and starts asking me a lot of technical questions about certain products that I have personally never used before and it was really difficult to answer her questions but I somehow manage to explain with common sense and she then asks me if I can give her a discount to the overall quote if she decided to go with me.




When a client starts talking about discount, that's when I know they have pretty much decided to pick me, since I was dry on projects, literally had nothing left, I was very open to offering her a discount.



The original quotation amounted to about $27,700, and I was contemplating to give her a discount of either $200 or $500, to round down the figure and make it look nicer. I remember when I was texting her, I was also watching a Youtube video, multitasking but failing terribly because after I hit send on the discounted amount, I realized I completely fucked up the amount.



Instead of telling Jenny that I was willing to lower the figure to $27,500, I mistyped and told her I was willing to lower the figure to $25,000, which is a fucking huge difference of $2,500, that's close to a 10% discount, which is a really really generous amount.



Upon realizing my fuck up, I quickly told Jenny that I had mistyped and shared with her the intended amount, to which she just went...

'WHAT?"

... and when she started to express her shock, that also made me second guess my discount and I kept thinking that I must have originally intended to give her that 10% discount, it must have been it, so I took back what I said about the typo and told her the 10% discount was my original intention, whilst still really confused whether or not that was truly my intention, and then she replied...

"That sounds better."

... it took me a full day to realize that the 10% discount was not my original intention because I am a fucking idiot, and when I realized that, I just lost interest in the project, I will still make a profit, but not enough to make the renovation worth it.

If I took back the discount, I know she will run to another Interior Designer, but if I accepted the project with a lower commission rate, then she will probably choose to engage me, and seeing how I have already completed all the projects I had on hand, a part of me just wanted to clinch a new deal just to stay busy. 

So Jenny reached out to me earlier this week and requested for us to meet again, telling me she wants to quickly confirm everything, to pick all the laminates and get everything settled, and from the way she was sharing all this with me, I knew she had already made her decision and was going to engage me.

We met today with her husband Jonny at my showroom and I was honestly ready to close a deal with them, I had printed out all the quotation and floorplan for them to bring home once they sign the contract and then as we were running through the final layout and all the design details, Jonny said something to me that just made me back out from letting them sign a contract with me...

" Actually to be very honest with you, I feel a bit worried passing my project to you. "

... and he proceeds to take out a pamphlet from another Interior Design firm and run through their portfolio with me, telling me how lacking my company's project was compared to the other Interior Design firm, literally finding flaws in one my company's project photos Jenny had saved on her phone and sharing them with me, telling me how my company's portfolio was really lacking the WOW factor both of them were looking for and then telling me how the other company's completed project just looked so much better.

It just turned me off completely and I just told the both of them that I wasn't going to let them sign a contract with me today, that I don't want them to confirm their engagement with me today because I was just EXTREMELY uncomfortable about the entire arrangement, which then also lead to my next question, why didn't they just go straight to the other Interior Design firm if they are going to be shoving their portfolio down my throat whilst taking a shit at my company's portfolio, and the reason was simple...

"They are not cheap."

... to which the husband told me that he wouldn't mind paying more if I could achieve the same feel as the other interior design firm, and then the wife interjects and calls him out on his bullshit, which I just found hilarious, proclaiming...

"If you don't mind paying, then you wouldn't be seating here right now!"

... she was laughing while saying it, but it also made me realize that I was their second option, I mean I knew I was their second option the moment the husband took out the other company's portfolio booklet, but hearing Jenny say that to her husband out loud and realizing that not just him, but that his wife as well would rather be seating in the office of the other Interior Design firm if it weren't for the price, that just made me feel disgustingly inferior as a designer, being aware that my own projects are not amazing is one thing, but to have a client indirectly validate that feeling is completely different.

During the run through of the 3D, both Jonny and Jenny were pretty vocal about how they felt my design was lacking and that the colour scheme wasn't what they were looking for, which was extremely demoralizing,  so I requested for examples of styles they like and colour schemes that they feel would have that WOW factor, Jonny of course then took out the Holy Bible of Interior Design that is the other company's portfolio and showed me examples.

Here is the deal, the other Design Firm has a better portfolio than my company because they have better photos, but their projects aren't amazing, it's honestly very average when I actually compare them to the projects of design firms I actually  like and follow on Instagram.

I could not understand the appeal of the design Jonny actually showed me and am in fact still at a loss as to what he wants, he kept telling me he loves the contrast and when I shared with him my idea of contrasting colours and materials, he was totally against it, and the contrast he actually showed me was a contrast I personally do not like, which is white against dark walnut.

I just do not find this colour scheme appealing at all, some may find it gorgeous, I personally hate this match up because it just feels really dated to me. If it is a predominately white space with a bit of dark walnut acting as a accent colour...

....then it would look amazing.

And this is one of the many problems I have with Jonny and Jenny, what I find appealing and what they find appealing is completely different, we do not have the same taste and I can't offer any proper design advice because of it.

Jenny also wanted to purchase a lot of items online, and I was really all for it, less stuff for my carpenters to do means less defects for them to spot, but then she was so worried that the colors wouldn't match and ended up asking me to do custom pieces for her, of chairs with hidden compartments and tables with varying depth, which will definitely cost a bomb to customize,  

I was initially really open to running their project, but after this last meet up, all that has disappeared, I am sure they still plan to engage me for my services because they are agreeable to meeting me again next week, but knowing that I am second fiddle to their preferred designer just feels insulting to me, to know that in their head, there will always be this thought that they have engaged someone inferior, that there is clearly someone else they would have preferred to hire if they got the money to, it just doesn't sit right with me at all.

With my other clients, when they engage me, I have never once felt like I was their second option, I always feel like when they engage me, it's because they like me, even if I am not the cheapest or offer the best design. There is always this certainty in their decision, that their choice to engage me trumps their preference towards all the other designers they have met, once in a while my other clients will bring up pricing differences, and that is fine because I take that as a compliment sometimes, that despite being more expensive, they don't mind forking out the extra money to work with me, but to bring up the other Interior Designers they have met and tell me how amazing they are and then indirectly telling me they would rather work with them if they had the money because my design is inferior compared to theirs, that is a little insulting.

I still have my pride as an Interior Designer and this is honestly really frustrating to deal with, because Jonny and Jenny are clearly focusing on design but aren't willing to pay for it, so now they have skittered to me hoping I can achieve the same look for them at a lower price point.

Factory Trip

Went on a company field trip today to a supplier's factory that I didn't really want to attend but was told it was compulsory, got lost on the way there and realized I had dropped off one bus stop early, so ended up walking a good 10 minutes under the intense afternoon sun to the correct location.


The factory is located in an industrial area, so there aren't any direct bus in, it also isn't shaded very well which made the extra walking I had to do so much more worst.


Upon my arrival at the factory, I soon realize that not the term "compulsory" was being used very very loosely because not even 50% of my colleagues actually showed up and because I was so hot and bothered after the walk over, I was barely paying attention to the tour once it actually stared, which also ended before I knew it, the whole walk though barely lasted 15 minutes, I spend pretty much the entirety of the tour standing in front of one of those industrial fans to cool down, so whatever the guide was saying was completely drowned out by the whirring sound made by the giant fan blades.



Everyone there was then ushered back to the office area of the factory, treated to a buffet style lunch and then dismissed. I was originally told by my manager that the trip will last about 3 hours, but I reach and left the place in less than an hour.



I only realize that I had learn nothing of great importance, or even remember anything about the tour now that I am actually thinking about it. If it weren't for the free lunch that was provided, I honestly think that the trip to the factory today was a huge waste of time, then again I also have nothing much to do now that all my projects have ended so it's only a matter of where I would have wasted my time today, at home or in the factory.



Speaking of wasting time at home, I recently also got my hand on a Nintendo Switch, bought Mario Kart 8 as a first game, but then decided to buy a second one on the eStore called Hollow Knight, which I currently have a love hate relationship with. It's fun but it's also difficult, so as much I enjoy the game, I am also getting equally frustrated, it's one of those games that makes me want to throw the controller on the ground, except I can't because the controller is attached to the main console and giving in to that anger and doing that would be a very very stupid move.



The New York trip is drawing closer as well and I am not really feeling all that excited about it after I sat down and really thought about it, my Sister wants a day to herself, so she is forcing me to plan a day for me to explore the city by myself and I started drawing a blank on what I wanted to do there.



I know I want to visit a few of the famous bakeries there, but I am already expecting those places to be crowded, and I don't do well in crowds, whenever I see anyplace I want to go to packed to the brim with people, I always find myself walking the other way and I am very scared that that will happen in New York, where I will just subconsciously walk away from the stores because of how crowded they are.


Really should have through this trip through before I agreed to it, the cookies and pies from milkbar better be worth the trip.

Entitled + Know It All

It has been a while since I have met a client I did not like because I have not been meeting any new clients lately, in order to make sure that my New York trip will not be interrupted by work, I have requested my HR to stop giving me any new customer leads for now, the goal is to finish all the projects I have on hand now and only get new leads after I am back from my trip, or at most, get new projects before my trip that will only start renovation works in June.

The New York trip is too expensive for it be to be ruined by a client, I already hate it when they message me while I am at home, I can only  imagine how much worst it will feel when I am halfway around the globe and am unable to be present physically at the job site to really assess the situation because a lot of times, my clients tend to exaggerate the issues by taking really close up shots of the problem area and making it look worst than it really is.

Well, not too long ago, my boss hired a few new faces for the in-house team and among them is a new HR Personnel, she isn't aware of my request, so she actually directed some leads to me, being kinda bored at that time, I decided to just accept those leads and see what happens. If the customer plans to start his renovation during my New York trip, then I will just not put too much effort into the proposals and turn down their project, but if they plan to start their renovation only in June, then good for me, that means I will have be able to keep myself busy with work when I am back from New York.

A few days ago, the new HR gave me a lead and the customer had originally requested to meet during an event that my company will be having next week, in his message to my HR, he requested for the designer, which is me, to get in touch with him so he can share his renovation enquiry with me ,hoping that then at least I will have some sort of proposal for him to see during the event. I messaged him probably an hour after I receive the request from my HR and he responded pretty quickly.

His request was pretty vague, all he told me was he wanted to renovate his whole house, shift his kitchen entrance, do up a new space for his kids, and that was literally it, I have no idea where he wants to shift his kitchen entrance to, I have no idea how big of a space he wants to create for his kids, so I told him I will just come up with a proposal that will cover the basics that he will definitely need, so things like Kitchen Cabinet and Wardrobes, because he has a very very tight budget and it doesn't make sense to propose things that he won't need or present him with ideas that are purely for aesthetic purposes, it is very clear from his meager budget that he is not someone who is going to pay for design.

He wasn't very receptive to the idea of getting a cookie cutter proposal from me, so he requested for us to meet up first in person first for me to really understand what he wanted to do exactly. I was pretty free and had nothing much to do these days anyways, so I agreed and we met yesterday.

Well, it rained like a bitch yesterday evening, I only had about half an hour before I was planning to head out when the rain started, and as it started getting closer to the meeting time, I was really hoping the weather would get better, or at least stay the way it is because even though it was raining, it wasn't really too heavy, it's the type that people would still be willing to brave, but then my client suddenly messages me and tells me he wants to postpone the meeting back by half an hour, literally as I got up from my chair at home and was about to head out, he told me his side was raining really heavily so he wanted to head home for a quick shower and dry up first before meeting me, I wasn't too keen on that idea because the rain was going from bad to worst, but he is the customer, so I agreed to his request begrudgingly and was hoping that some miracle would happen and the rain will get better.




It didn't.

By the time I had to leave, the rain got worst, it was extremely bad, the rain was so heavy that I could barely make out the building that was across from my home, I really wanted to cancel the appointment because of how heavy the rain was but I couldn't because that's just not really professional.



Well, the current shoes that I wear on a daily basis has pretty much gone to shit over the past few months, I guess there is a hole under the shoe, so every time I walk on a wet surface, if there is a little puddle on said surface, it will seep through the soles of my shoes and my feet will get wet almost immediately, that is when there isn't rain, but because it was raining like a fucking bitch yesterday, the short trip I had to make from my house to the bus stop completely drenched my shoes, every step I took was so uncomfortable because my soles were completely soaked and there was this splotching sensation between my feet and the sole of my shoe that felt like I was really marinating it for maximum stench.

The bus ride and the train ride was an ordeal because of how uncomfortable and wet my feet were, I tried to minimize any movement in the feet area and when I actually had to walk, I would just curse at my client for arranging the meeting.



By the time I reach the meeting place, it was around 7pm, my client told me he wanted to meet at McDonalds and I knew it was going to be packed, so I was really not expecting to find any seats and true enough, when I walked into the place, it was completely full, every table was taken, there were long queues forming at the counters and in my head, I was just wondering what the fuck my client was thinking proposing, meeting at McDonalds' during peak hour.




I didn't really bother trying to get seats because I didn't want to hover around a table and wait for people to finish up and leave, my client should be doing this because he was the one who requested the meet up and he was the one who decided on the location and the timing, the whole reason he wanted to meet where he requested was because he lived close by, so he owes me that much to look for a table first. I did a quick walk through of McDonald, then made my way out and just sat at one of the waiting areas outside and messaged my client telling him there wasn't any available seating, thinking he might change the venue to a less crowded area, but he messages me back within a few seconds and tells me he is already inside, that he has already found a seat and is waiting for me.




Apparently I missed him when I did my breeze walk through the fast food outlet because he was literally 2 tables away from the entrance. I quickly introduced myself to him and he didn't really seem all that impressed, so I took out the floor plan he had emailed me and as I was about to start the consultation with him in the crowded restaurant, he goes....

"Oh, so you didn't prepare anything?"

... I was a little confused by what he meant "didn't prepare anything", so I just looked at him for clarification on what he meant because I did print out the floorplan that I had to clean up with Photoshop and scale to size with Illustrator, so I'm pretty sure I  did "something" or at least did enough for a first time consultation session, and he goes...

" I thought you would have prepared some sort of proposal to run through with me."

... and it was the way he said it that just pissed me the off, that hint of disappoint he had in his voice like I have been inadequate, the courtesy smile I always put on when I meet a new client just completely disappeared from my face. When he said that to me, I got really pissed off, I braved the fucking rain to meet you at a location that is convenient for you, my bag is wet, my shoes are soaked, and you have the fucking gull to expect so much more than you, a NON-PAYING CUSTOMER, deserves, the fucking entitlement, what fucking rights do you have to be disappointed that I did not arrange a proposal in advance, this is a FREE service, manage your fucking expectations.




I was really controlling myself to not sound angry when I explained to him that the whole point of this meeting we were having today is to get his requirements, I mean the whole fucking point of HIM requesting to meet in advance is for me to get his requirements first, if he was expecting me to prepare a proposal for him before we even meet, then we could have done that during the event, but HE didn't want a cookie cutter proposal, he wanted a proposal that met his requirements,  and I can't prepare a proposal for him if I don't have his renovation requirements.



I mean what the fuck was he expecting, for me to put in 1000% effort into a proposal for a random client who has not even given me a single cent? Being a non-paying customer aside, he has set aside a budget that is impossible to work with, the automatic reaction a lot of designers will probably have would be to just ignore his enquiry, so the fact that I even bother to reach out to you is already a favor and be fucking grateful that I went as far as agreeing to meet in person.




He was not impressed when I explained to him why I didn't have a proposal and the first half of the consultation was pretty painful for me because he was questioning everything I was proposing to him with this fucking know it all attitude, asking me question like....

1. What kind of wood does my carpenter use.

2. Why my price is so expensive.

3. Why is the carpentry so expensive when they are only using wood.

... and when I share with him what I know, he tries to insert what he knows about the product, as if trying to usurp me or impress me with his knowledge, like I am suppose to go...

'WHAT? HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT? THAT IS SOMETHING ONLY PEOPLE WORKING IN THE INDUSTRY KNOWS! HOLY FUCK YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE IN ALL THIS IS MAKING ME HARD, I WANT TO HAVE YOUR BABIES, FUCK ME NOW!"

....shut the fuck up!



One conversation that we had revolved around the quartz table top, and it went like this...

Him : So what Quartz brand do you use?

Me : I will be using XX Brand.

Him : Ah I see, okay, as long as it is not YY Brand, and how much do you charge for it?

Me : It starts at $130 per foot run

Him : What? Shouldn't it be $100 per foot run?

Me : No?! Where did you get that number from? 

Him : I just thought it should be $100 per foot run

Me: No, if you go to the shop and purchase it directly from the supplier, it is going to set you back $150 per foot run, I am selling you at a lower rate!

... and then he keeps quiet, so I tried to confront him and ask him where he got the price from and he just kept telling me he "thought" it was suppose to be cheaper.



You thought, you thought, it's fucking idiots like this who start going on online forums and sharing their "thoughts" that makes things difficult for us Interior Designer, bloody misinformed individuals passing off assumptions as truth and scaring other homeowners into thinking that every Interior Designer out there is out to cheat their money.



Oh, and early on during the consultation, I did actually show him a rough space planning proposal for his bedroom which I thought was not bad, the layout of the bedroom was really weird because the walls were at different angles, so it took me a good hour to come up with the space planning when I was at home looking at his floorplan, and well, he thought it was not impressive and then wanted me to come up with a new one on the spot for him.



That is why I did not prepare a full proposal for him in the first place, what took me an hour to come up with for his bedroom gets rejected not even a minute after it was presented to him, so why the fuck should I waste my time.




After the consultation, we had a small chat and he shared with me that he has visited a few firms, shared those experiences with me and the more I hear him talk, the more I don't want to take on his project because he just sounded really unpleasant to work with.




I will be meeting him again during the event, unfortunately, and I am hoping he will remain unimpressed with my proposal, I am expecting the renovation cost alone to be enough to scare him away because it is more than double of his original budget and really, my goal at the end of the day is simply to NOT take on his project.



I find it funny how he has this mentality that I really want his project, that I am going have to really impress him if I want him to pick me to run the renovation for him when the truth is just the opposite, my goal is to be so unimpressive that he crosses me off the list, OR to impress him so much that he picks me, but then for me to turn him down because...



BITCH, I DON'T WANT TO TAKE YOUR FUCKING PROJECT!

CNY Stuff and the Eventual Return of Stress.

The CNY break has been pretty uneventful.


Compared to the earlier CNY celebrations I had as a kid, I no longer do a lot of house visitations anymore as an adult, I guess now that I am a lot older, it just isn't very nice to drop by a distant relative's place and then expect them to give me a red packet, I could have gotten away with that as a kid, but as a socially awkward adult, it's just really tasteless to go to a house just to get money.



I do still see my direct relatives, but I barely exchange words with any of my cousins because everyone is just really awkward around each other, greeting each other "Happy New Year" is as far as the conversations will go. My cousins are also starting to bring their girlfriends and boyfriends along to the family gathering and it was really awkward when they started introducing their other half to me like I am someone important who should be introduced. I know the introductions are out of courtesy, but it still feels really odd to me, that and the fact that I am almost a decade older than all of them but am still single makes it worst.



I really do not care about getting in a relationship, I never have. The only reason I would want to get into a relationship is to appease the people around me so they will stop asking me questions about when I am getting a girlfriend.


But I digress.


Overall, the food was great, the red packets were great, but the socializing aspect of it was kind of a buzzkill for the entire gathering and I am just going to accept the fact that it is really my fault because I am just really really bad at socializing with my cousins that I see only once a year.



Now that my break is almost over, I can't help but feel stressed out about the upcoming projects that will start right after. The projects that I have are quite different from the ones I have done in the past, that's why I am a little worried about how they will go. I can already foresee all the potential problems that will happen, that's why I am not feeling great about them at all.




I'm always anticipating that stage during the renovation when my clients will make a 180 and become really unbearable, it's definitely not a good thing to be constantly expecting them to get upset during the renovation because I just don't think it is normal, but the sad truth is almost all the clients I had worked with did eventually reach a stage during the renovation when they just start to express their disappointment with a lot of things because a lot of times, they have this extremely unrealistic expectation of everything being perfect, of all the works done by my contractors to be faultless, that no hairline scratch marks should be expected on anything, that no walls should have even the slightest streak of uneven paint marks, that Santa Clause is real and unicorns fart rainbows.




One time, I tried to manage of potential client's expectation by sharing with her what could possibly go wrong and she ended up getting super paranoid about everything, she wanted to engage me because we had a good chemistry , but at that point, I have already created this paranoid nut-bag out of her. so I eventually rejected her request to engage me and we didn't end on a good note, I pretty much ignored her final text because she tried to guilt trip me for turning her down.




Not sure how my post CNY projects will fare, feeling really pessimistic about them at this point, FML.


1. The first project I have an issue with because I have never done a project like it before, there are a lot of moving parts in the project that I have never personally experienced before and the clients will be staying in the place during the renovation, which makes it worst. They also need the house to be completed by a certain date because they have an overseas trip planned straight after the renovation is done, and the deadline is one of many factors that worries me. I have never been great at keeping to the schedule, a lot of my projects end up taking a lot more time to complete and I am worried that this will face the same problem.



2. The second project is actually pretty straightforward, but my clients are first time homeowners and from the many consultations I have had with them, they are extremely excited about their new home and their excitement is reminiscent of the very first couple I worked with. My first clients were so excited with their new space that when it came to the actual renovation, they were nitpicking every single thing, it was insane, looking back, I am just so happy that I am done with the project, that being said, I actually really like them, I just did not like working with them. I have a feeling I won't enjoy working with this couple as well.



3. The third project is like a charity case, I feel like I don't even have the luxury of worrying how little I can earn because I am not sure if I will be earning anything at all, on the contrary, I might actually be helping my company make a loss from the project. Always a first time for everything, this project may in fact very well get me fired.




Well,  I only have about a week left of complete freedom, it was a nice few months of freedom, but by this time next week, I shall be returning back to my daily scheduled stress induced lifestyle and probably have more stuff to blog about, might even go back to contemplating about quitting again.




The thing about me quitting is, it will happen eventually, I just don't know when yet. It is better to be employed and earning a little than to be unemployed and not earning at all. I have settled for way too many jobs in the past and those never ever last, so when I finally choose to quit, I want to make sure I have found the right job that I won't resign from mere weeks or even days later before doing so.

3rd D&D

Attended the company's annual D&D not too long ago and it wasn't too bad.



My boss has been hiring a lot of new designers recently, so there were quite a few faces there that I simply could not attach a name to and like every event with hundreds of attendees around, where I am expected to socialize and make small talk, I was feeling a tiny bit uncomfortable.



I had a few colleagues that I tried to stick with during the first hour or so of socializing, not that I really had to stick with anymore because I was essentially sitting in an armchair in the bar area and sipping on my bubble tea with a few of my colleagues who also aren't very interested in socializing  congregating around my general area.



After about an hour of me just going...

"Why is this taking so long? What time is it?"

... and looking at the time, the ballroom finally opened and everyone started trickling in.



Unlike last year, where 4 colleagues and myself got sidelined and assigned to a regular table while everyone else from my company got assigned to the VIP tables, everyone in the sales team this year was split all around the ballroom, and the only ones who got to enjoy the VIP table this year were the boss and the in-house team. So everyone in the Sales team ended up getting split into a few different groups and were assigned to a table with a few other sub-contractors.



The table I was assigned to this year was pretty close to the stage and luckily for me, I was sat with colleagues I was relatively comfortable talking to, but of course once the emcee started talking, any conversation I attempted to have got drown out by the speakers near the stage. I felt a little awkward because I was sat with a few sub-cons I haven't worked with before, and pair that with the loudspeakers that was constantly blaring the emcee's dialogue, I was just simply not interested to even attempt to start any small talk with them. We did have a few small exchanges once in a while when the emcee went to take a break, but we didn't manage to become close friends by the end of the dinner.



As the dinner went on, small games were introduced to make the dinner a bit more lively, innocent guest were pulled on stage to partake in a few mildly embarrassing games, I was also pulled on stage at one point to take part in this cringey group dance with a bunch of other guys from the audience and the only point of the dance is to invoke laughter from the audience.  Luckily I was standing at the back, so the ones in front of me acted as my embarrassment barrier.



Then came the part that I was most looking forward to, the lucky draw event where everyone in the company is bound to win something. There are 10 big prize and then the rest are like $100 red packets, the fact that the consolation prizes are $100 cash means that the big prizes are quite valuable items.



I was lucky enough to actually win one of the top 10 prizes, but before my name was drawn for the prize, the emcee did actually tell everyone what the prize was and the moment I heard what the prize she was drawing the winner's name for was, I pretty much lost interest in it straightaway...

"And the next prize is a digital door lock."

... it was like an instantaneous response from me because after that revelation, I just went back to my food and did not even bother looking at the screen where the winner's name would be revealed. If I won the item, I can't use it because I already have a digital door lock installed at my house, and even if I didn't, I will have to engage an installer to come install the lock for me and there is just too much hassle involved with that prize.


 But of course my name was called, it was like the Universe was trying to fuck with me because I was looking at my food so hard, thinking that if I focus all my attention on the food on my table instead of what was happening on stage, my name won't get drawn.


That being said, the digital door lock looks great, if I had my own place, I would have definitely been very happy to win that prize, it looks really sleek and so much nicer looking than the one my Mum installed.


So I went up on stage, took my prize, posed for a picture and went back to my seat. It is definitely exciting to win something, but that excitement really lasted only for a short while because when I finally got home and explored the contents, that's when I realize how much I DO NOT need the door lock.



I know I am looking a gift horse in the mouth and being an ungrateful little bitch about the Digital Door Lock, but I really would have preferred getting the consolation prize. I tried to sell the Digital Door Lock on Carousell, had to advertise it as an item that does not come with any installation and warranty, close to impossible to attract any potential buyers, but one did actually reach out to me.



I was selling it at $350, which is about $200 lower than the market rate, and this guy comes in with a $250 offer, I thought he was low balling a little too much, so I counter offered him $300 and ask him if he was still interested, he replies with a "Thanks" and then about a day later, ask me if $250 is okay, and that he can purchase the product from me today.



No matter how much I sold the item to him, I will still technically be making a profit because it is ultimately still a free gift I won, but I really didn't like how he was making no effort to change his price even after I made a counter offer of $300, so I told him I was willing to sell it to him at $280, but that will be the lowest I can sell to him, I didn't really want to ask him if he was alright with the price, so I just thank him for his interest, which was my way of indirectly telling him that this was no longer negotiable, either take it or leave it.




About 7 or 8 hours later, he drops me another message that went...

"$160. Last offer, what do you say?"

.... When I first saw his offer,  I got a little pissed off , I said no to $250 and he has the gall to offer an even lower amount, he is clearly fucking with me, but then another part of me also thinks that he might have mistyped and meant to offer $260, so I went...

"Sorry, $160 is too low"

... thinking his response would be to correct his typo and actually offer me $260 instead. I would have just accepted the $260 and sold him the door lock if he had told me it was a type ,I mean I really don't have any other buyers, but nope, he just went...

"Thanks"

... which meant that he was trying to low ball me even more by offering $160, he is trying to fuck with me. Needless to say, the lock is still with me and I have lost my only potential buyer, but it feels even more satisfying knowing that if he truly wants to get the door lock, he is going to have to fork out more than $250 for it.




UPDATE:

The joker reached out to me a few days ago asking me if $250 is okay. At this point, I honestly can't be fuck with him anymore, especially after how he tried to low ball to $160.

Am I suppose to be grateful by the fact that you have decided to raise your buying price back to $250 and sell the item to you?



Go Fuck Yourself !

At this point, I don't even trust him anymore, I have the feeling that when we actually meet to do the exchange, he might come up with some sort of excuse and tell me he only has $160 on hand or something and then attempts to get me to sell him at $160.

He has officially been blocked!

Zero Foresight.

I recently got my hands on a new project that is slated to start after the CNY break and it was suppose to be a relatively simple and straightforward project.



I told the homeowners that the renovation won't start until after the CNY break multiple times and even told them that the earliest they should anticipate moving in is probably between late March to early April, they were a little disappointed with the long wait but told me that they will just extend their lease at their current place a little in that case.


Normally when presented with such a scenario, the clients will extend their lease at their current place and if their lease extension fails, they will opt to move in to their relative's place for the time being until the actual renovation is done, but not this clients, because after failing to extend their lease, their next course of action is to move into the empty flat first.

"Hi Tim, we will have to move into our apartment before the renovation starts because we can't extend our lease."

 ...the apartment is empty, aside from the flooring and 2 functioning toilet bowls, the place is just not ready for moving in unless you don't mind living the life of a squatter for the next 3 months.



Naturally, I was quite taken aback and expressed my shock at their decision to move in to an empty space so early on, but then also told them that it should be possible for them to they stay in one of the extra bedrooms when the renovation starts, it's not ideal but seeing how their options are limited, it's the only feasible solution to their predicament.



Of course, this brought about more concerns such as having a functional toilet area with a wash basin and shower, doors for privacy, lights for illumination, a place for their fridge, for their washing machine, etc.



Essentially, everything that I would prefer to be done closer to the end of the renovation has to be brought forward in order to make the space livable and I prefer to do those things at the end is because it gives them less chances of actually getting damaged during the renovation process, and now the wife is asking me if the renovation can be shortened from the estimated 6 - 8 weeks like I had told her initially down to 4 weeks.



I find these kind of request to be bloody redundant. I told you I need a 6 to 8 weeks renovation period, that means I need at least 6 weeks to renovate the space, if it can be done in a shorter amount of time, than that is great, but I am not going to promise a timeline I am not even 50% confident of achieving.



She is essentially requesting for me to shorten the renovation period by half, it's like baking a cake and then deciding that since you don't have enough time, you will just bake it for half the time required by turning up the temperature of the oven, sure, bake the cake in a hotter oven for half the time, the exterior of the cake may look done,  but enjoy the under-baked, possibly even raw cake batter in the middle as you slice into that bad boy and lie to your guest that is is suppose to be lava cake when all they will get a few hours later is a trip to the toilet excreting chocolate lava out of their asshole.



I was feeling exhausted when I saw her request, so I told her it was just not possible, especially if the project is going to be starting right after the CNY break, there are many other projects that had to be postponed because of the CNY break, not just hers, that means once the break is over, all these bottle-necked projects are going to gush out like the hoover damn just broke,the contractors are all going to be hella busy during this period so rushing is not going to be an option for them.




After that, she just stop replying. I don't really know why her planning is so terrible, she knew from the start that the renovation will only happen after CNY, and she knows it will take at least 6 weeks to renovate the space, that means right from the start, she has been aware that the renovation will last all the way to April but she decides not to do anything about her lease that is coming to an end and then decides to just wing it when the time for her to move out of her current apartment comes.




Her "winging" it is now affecting my planning of her renovation schedule, what was suppose to be a simple and straightforward renovation has evolved into something else. I really really really hope she ends up finding another place to stay during the renovation and her lack of response right now is her actively reaching out to friends and families for a place to stay.



Please have some foresight.

Lamentations

It's been more than a month since Sly Fox brought up the issue with his house to me and after countless visits by the various contractors and myself, the issue has yet to be resolved.


I am EXTREMELY exhausted at this point, I was actually at a Foodcourt with my colleagues today, about to buy dinner when Sly Fox dropped me the text sharing the bad news with me, after which I completely lost my appetite and went back to the office empty handed. After the last trip to his place,I was really optimistic that the issue would be resolved, even send a specialist who deals with the specific issue he had and it was still futile.



My contractor who originally did the space really did a fucking fantastic shit show of a job, keeps telling me his workmanship got standard and then after countless futile attempts at repairing, informs me the the problem is probably because of another issue caused by another contractor, which makes no fucking sense because he's really grasping at straws at this point.



It's like going to a bakery to complaint...


Customer :
"Hey, your chocolate cake taste a bit odd, I think the cocoa powder that you use may have expired because we got a serious case of food poisoning a few days back as well.


Baker:
"I don't think the issue is with our cakes, maybe it was something else you ate that day? Maybe during your lunch or dinner?"


Customer:
"I'm pretty sure it's your cake, the taste of it was really off and I didn't really have anything that day aside from the cakes I got from your shop."



Baker:
"I don't believe it's our cake, we have certain standards that we set for ourselves, so it's not possible the issue is with us, it must have been something else you ate maybe the day before or the day after."



.... with my contractor, he admits that there was an oversight on his part because I found quite a few glaring issues upon closer inspections that he really couldn't deny responsibility, but the problem with my contractor is how prideful he is, he doesn't listen to criticism and his standard has never really been good to begin with, I only used him because he is like the contractor that a majority of my colleagues in the company uses, so it was more of like an default option for me to keep using him, but after this whole fiasco, I am no longer confident about giving him anymore huge jobs to run.




I added him into the group chat with my clients in hopes that he can directly liaises with them and update them on the progress personally. He did a shit job, so he should be the one facing my clients head on and bearing the grunt of any unhappiness they may have with him, but he isn't, every time instead of addressing the issue in the chat like I had intended for him to, he will call me personally and then ask me to address to the clients, citing stupid reasons like...

"You are the main contractor, so you should be talking with them, I think the issue is not with my workmanship but with the other contractor's workmanship, so it doesn't sound very good if I were to start badmouthing the other contractor."

 ....and then he shares with me the reason why it's the other contractor's fault, and I am not even remotely convince that it's the other contractor's issue at all because it sounds completely ridiculous, if I can't even convince myself that "the other contractor issue" is a valid reason, how am I suppose to convince my clients about it, and not sounding convincing with the bullshit reasons aside, it is a bullshit reason, there is no point sharing that with my clients because that is simply not the cause of the issue.



I really am just the middleman in this bloody mess my contractor has created for everyone and it's just getting really really tiring to have to constantly apologize for the same thing over and over again. I put my trust in the contractor to do a decent job for me, I wasn't even expecting a good job, just a decent one, and he was able to fuck all this up, I am actually splitting the repair cost for the damages with him out of goodwill right, but seeing how long this issue has been dragged out for so long,  I am now really considering bringing this issue up to my boss and getting him to tell the contractor to bear the full blunt of the repair cost because when my clients paid for his services, they were expecting the job to be done properly and not in this fucked up state like the way it is now.



But for future projects, I am now very confident that he will no longer be my go to contractor anymore, I will maybe give him some smaller ones once in a while that are easy to do and have a very low margin for error, but the larger ones, for the sake of my sanity, will NOT be given to him to run anymore because it's really not the first time I had clients complaint about his workmanship.