Oreo Cupcake

After so long, I have finally made my first successful batch of Buttercream Frosting and it's actually good. I hate the smell of butter, I think it smells like sweaty socks, so I didn't really thought about frosting all the cupcakes, just a few because frosting is fun. 

But it was actually yummy, so I slap it on all the cupcake. And really, frosting 2 cupcakes isn't as much fun as frosting 6. And I also decided to be biased and slap one giant Oreo on one cupcake and make her the Poster Cupcake.

Cookies and Cream Oreo Cupcakes with Cookie and Cream Buttercream Frosting. 

I thought it was a nice picture, the outcome looked great, the Poster Cupcake looked like she was owning the shot, so I decided to Tweet it and also upload the picture on Facebook hoping someone will praise her. 

Poster Cupcake and her obnoxiously big Oreo Cookie

Nope, no one commented on her. It was a sad day for her and now while all her lesser cupcakes have been stripped and eaten up, she's in the fridge alone waiting for her frosting to harden.

Pretending to care.

Made more cupcakes over the week, more successful than the one I followed from the stupid cookbook.


Work's been pretty repetitive, standing at the gate for 6 hours straight, go back bunk rest for 6 hours and then standing at another gate for 6 hours again. I guess it's better than going to the jungle and getting mud and soil all over your uniform which has been drenched in not only your sweat but also the rainwater. Well that made me feel better, typing out that entire sentence of what would've been had I not been showing so much potential as a security guard.


Well the 6 hours aren't really that bad depending on where you are situated though. It's only bad if you are placed in an emplacement that has 2 people, and you get stuck with a person you don't really have any common topic to talk about.



Usually when I am talking to a friend, I can last pretty long, I mean my concentration level because it's probably that of a goldfish, or maybe several dozen of em. The amount of dry wit and sarcasm I can dish out in a conversation with friends can only last so long, after which I will just become really disinterested in the conversation, even if the topic is something I am interested in because all I want to do is to rest my mouth and stop talking.


But of course rather than being an ass and just look away and pretend the person is talking to some ghost standing behind me, I look interested, smile and repeat the last few words that person just said with a "No Way~ I didn't know that!" expression.


Just a few days ago I was stuck guarding the gate with some guy, and initially we were talking about games which I am a fan of, but for some reason the conversation became about Cars, which I honestly don't give a fuck about AT ALL. I mean I didn't even bother to download Pixar Cars even though I am a fan of Pixar.



He went on and on about racing in Malaysia, how bad ass of a driver his Uncle is and something about driving on some lane and making some tight turns, which in my head I'm already picturing of some really A list blockbuster scene with sparks and shit, he didn't exaggerated anything, I had to make my mind do the exaggeration for my mental images otherwise I think I will die of boredom.

GuardBuddy : "And he made a tight turn, like super tight turns at the last lane, he squeezed between 2 cars."

Me: "SQUEEZED BETWEEN 2 CARS? WOW!" 

It was a very long night. 

Luckily I only had to do 3 hours with him and not the normal 6 hours. I mean he's a nice guy, but the moment you start talking about cars is the moment my mind switches off. I don't care if you have a million horsepower in your trunk or you have bass stereo speakers built into your car wheels or whatever diamond encrustation  you have on your passenger seats, God bless their buttocks. The only thing I know about a car is that it drives you from point A to point B and I would like to own one so I don't have to take 2 hours to get home every 2 days from camp. 

Welcome to the new blog

Well I've decided to change my blog address to something more fitting. This is a blog with more words than pictures and thus the name, it's also partly because I can't take my old blog name back.

Too lazy to do it.

Anyhow, let me introduce you to....

Exhibit A

Cupcake. Failed Miserably



As pretty as the cupcake would look with frosting, it's bad news for you tastebud. What's suppose to be a sweet moist and rich chocolate cupcake is really just a flat brown baked "treat" with a grey gooey center of undercooked batter that leaves your taste palette begging for a scrub down of Listerine.  It's pretty bad, I know I am not apt at making macarons but this failed creation is not my fault.


I tried out making Martha Stewart's cupcake, they came out edible. I made Red Velvet Cupcake from some internet recipe online, that one was actually nice to eat. So it's not my fault, it's the damn recipe from the cookbook my Sis bought for my Mum.


I'm not even blaming the oven, that's how bad the recipe is.



Okay there's no Exhibit B, A already came out like that, who knows what will happen if I were to follow another recipe from the book. Oh gawd imagine the consequences. People will see the pictures online, their eyes will get so fouled by the image it will retract back into their socket, their tongue will curl up in objection. Their nose won't be affected because the cupcake smells decent, but they will become so distraught they might end up becoming suicidal and what the mayans predicted will come true.

PSP-3000


My second PSP, thinner, brighter and lighter, just like me before NS.


It's a good buy because the Army actually makes reading a book fun, imagine what playing a already fun entertainment device like the PSP would be like in camp, it would be like taking drugs and going high. And would you imagine what it would be like to take drugs in camp and go high? You'd get charged and get send to a Detention Barrack.

So Christmasy

Came back from Field Camp yesterday, and as usual, I hated it. It was nice that I got to sleep with a scenery of the Expressway though, but otherwise it pretty much sucked. 

Thank God the weather was great.

Candy Cane Hershey Kisses

I like seeing familiar candies with new flavours. Not so much paying for it though because a packet of those little Christmas Special Hershey Kisses cost me S$12. 

That's S$12 more then what I would usually pay for a packet of candy when I was 5 years old, following my Mum to the grocery and begging her to get me candy. I was nice though because I always tried not to exceed S$2. 

Saving money for my family at such a young age, what a responsible young man, he's gonna be doing great things in the future, like Guard Duty for the rest of his Army life.... or in layman's term, an underpaid Security Guard with larger responsibilities compared to the Uncle guarding the Condo I'm living in.

Pictures and Caption

Well I think this blog needs some picture because there's a limit to how minimalist I want my blog to look. Anyway previous post removed, I don't want to dedicate an entire post to someone I don't like... and not only that, but I also don't want to soil this blog with too much negativity. 

Self inflicted humor is okay, but making fun of others/bitching behind their back will be done in real life and not in the virtual world. 

S$10 Chocolate from Dubai. 

It's actually creamier than normal chocolate, that's why it cost S$10. My Mum and Sis bought it for me as a souvenir. I think I actually prefer getting food as souvenirs rather than a T-Shirt which spells Dubai in front and a picture of whatever Dubai is famous for at the back. A shitload of skyscrapers?   

Banana Cream Pie 

Had an obsession with this Fruit Pie from Fruit Paradise a few weeks ago. I had it so many times it got boring. Now that obsession has died.. Sounds like a hot chick's love life

Alex the rescued Hamster.

Alex the hammy is still very much alive. A lil fatter and a lot more lazier but still very friendly, previous hamsters that were under our care in the past always bite, only Alex doesn't. 

Abandonment scars a pet for life, now she's always well behaved. Of course I doubt that applies to rowdy children who run around shopping malls in circles and shout at their parents when they are asked to stop. 

My Nintendo 3DS

I think I should give my 3DS a name. Like Cataracts or Blue Field Entoptic Phenomenon. 3D without glasses doesn't give you less of a headache. Although its so much more convinient and really cool at first. And FYI, 3D don't pop out of the screen, it creates a depth inside the screen, so technically it doesn't look like its popping out, its just the other things are popping in if you are smart enough to get what I mean.

Back from Phuket.

Came back from Phuket a few days ago and tomorrow I'm headed back to camp, but this time in Clementi.

I'm already missing Tekong.

Phuket wasn't very fun at all, it would probably be fun for people who enjoy party, dancing and getting drunk because the nightlife there is very happening. What I did was spend my time in the hotel room playing my Nintedo 3DS... $300 well spend on the ticket and the DS. 

Well I actually did some shopping beforehand, bought myself a shoe, was too lazy to actually how much it would cost in Singapore dollars, so I just roughly guesstimated and bought the shoes anyway. It was only after I paid the cashier did I realise I just spend half my entire money on a pair of shoes on the first day, just hours after landing in Phuket. Which was why I retreated back to the hotel room after that and didn't dare to go out anymore because I felt poor... the shoe was very comfortable to wear, but that was not a valid reason for it to make me feel like a beggar for the rest of the trip.

Overall I think I wasted my money because the trip wasn't fun at all, the only fun I had was coming from my Nintendo 3DS.

I couldn't join my Mum and Grandpa on a massage because I am ticklish... the masseuse will probably feel insulted if I were to be giggling while she or he was massaging me, it's like when your little brother is really small and the girls sees it and starts laughing to herself... same same but not really. At least the masseuse get paid for feeling insulted, the guy will probably turn gay afterwards.

...and me and nightclubs don't go well together, especially with female hookers dancing around poles giving you a hard on, only to confuse your boner after they rub that bulge in their pants on your face.

The food on the other hand was pretty good, the seafood was great and I had Dunkin Donuts on the first day, oh such fond memories of Dunkin Donuts I had when I was younger in Bangkok... vomited in a restaurant right after eating them.

You know how rockets have this booster at the end that thrust them up?... and they have structures to hold them up before lift off... well my father was the structure holding me up by my arms and the booster was my vomit... only thing was the structure was very strong so I was just mid air vomiting the whole time while being dragged to the toilet.

It was a good thing I didn't vomit this time round.

Jetstar Asia is not a good airline for people with long legs such as myself because the amount of leg space in that aircraft is claustrophobically small. It's like when I want to sleep I can't because I'm sitting upright due to the face the chair can't incline to a comfortable position, and I can't my rest my head in front on the pull down table because my head will just end up on the back of the chair in front. It was a nightmare that lasted for an hour. Thankfully it was only 1 hour... I can't imagine sitting that and going to Australia... I will probably be send straight to the mental institute after landing.

Anyway. Tomorrow will be my first day to Clementi Camp... not looking forward to it because the faces that I will be seeing there tomorrow won't be familiar faces anymore, really missing my bunk mates now.

I will miss the first few weeks when my neighbor bed buddy will just pop into my bed and chit chat with me about random things.

When my other neighbor bed buddy will start talking to me and the conversation will just become really dirty and I will start laughing till I tear.

When my old Buddy started talking to me and becoming really good friends.

I will miss my section "mascot". Forever slow, forever blur and always get scolded by us but loved by everyone in the Platoon nonetheless.

Ah well... guess POP is not as great as I thought it would be. Especially after spending 17 weeks with them instead of 9 weeks. If it was 9 weeks I probably wouldn't be as attached to them as I am now, in fact 9 weeks into BMT I still wasn't really starting proper conversations with them at all.

Trying to stay positive for tomorrow because apparently it's more "lepak" then BMT. It's gonna be hard to beat though because my Coy in BMT was very lepak.

Hello

POP LOH~!

It's been a great 4 months, PTP Phase was great because there was so much free time and BMT Phase was great because I started getting close with my section mates. In the end BMT wasn't so bad after all.

Definitely gonna miss Jaguar Company.

All that aside. Tomorrow I'm going to fly to Phuket with my family. Initially it was Taiwan, but because the Army isn't paying me enough, I have to settle for Thailand. And to join me on my Phuket trip would be my new Nintendo 3DS that I have purchased today.

WHAT?

A self proclaim Sony Fanboy getting himself a Nintendo 3DS is BEYOND forgivable.

Well this was a pathetic attempt at a blog post.

K43S

After 4 years or so of using an Acer laptop, I have finally made the switch over to an ASUS.

I guess making a switch from a Windows to Mac would be more exciting news but since I have such a tight budget of what was meant to be only $700 initially and since I haven't been robbing any banks lately, I can't get a MacBook even if I want to.

Headed over to IMM yesterday with my Mum to take a look at the laptops, which I think would be better than Sim Lim Square and Funan, because that's where (Sim Lim & Funan) all the really techie guys work and even though I'm not a complete computer idiot, suddenly telling me a AMD Processor is better for gaming as compared to a Intel Core Processor or that Graphically speaking ATI is more popular than Nvidia is enough to turn me blonde straight away.

After hearing a lot of bias opinion from the Fujitsu guy in Challenger at IMM, I decided to go to another shop ,Newstead, to get the laptop. The guy from Newstead was so much more professional plus he knew what he was talking about, and as long as he know what he's talking about, I'm good, because I have no idea what he was talking about, I just kept nodding my head pretending I understand.

At least he was talking about the internal hardware of the various laptops I was asking him about and even making comparisons to one another, the Fujitsu guy at Challenger just kept going on and on about build quality, I understand what he was saying but I didn't really care. I have been using an Acer for 4 years or so, I am pretty sure any other laptop I get will have a better build quality, and the fact that the laptop actually lasted that long with me says something about me.... that I am a gentle and loving laptop person who even though doesn't clean his laptop as much as he should, I cleaned it like 4 times so it's like once every year... the point is I care for my laptop.

What I wanted was hardware capabilities, not external durability, if I wanted durability I would have gotten the Panasonic Toughbook, but because that's one mofo ugly laptop, obviously not gonna get that.

After much hesitation, I decided to go with an ASUS. It was initially a Lenevo I was planning to get since I saw that there was a promotion going on in the newspaper, but apparently there wasn't any because the news paper blatantly lied to everyone in Singapore, I decided to try my luck with an Acer, but then getting an Acer again would be a bad idea because even though my Acer has served me well, the amount of system failures and shitty gameplay was not worth the 4 years of software maintenance at all. It's probably Window's fault but I'm gonna blame Acer as well. Went for ASUS in the end, it wasn't really calling out to me, but I heard from someone that ASUS was a good alternative for a gaming laptop so that fit the bill, plus they gave me a RAM boost from 2GB to 6GB.

Total cost - $999

My mum decided to chip in $400 at the end because she wanted to share the laptop with me and that's very possible because I will be in Tekong more than half the time. What a bad timing to get a new laptop for a gamer who enjoys RPG games who doesn't have the time to play any of it.

Ready for hibernation.

Currently I am able to do 5 chin ups. In order for me to be able to come back this Friday, I have to do 6 because that's the passing score for IPPT.

The only way one can train up for chin ups is by doing chin ups everyday until your muscle feels so sore they feel like they are about to fall off from the bones and cause permanent damage to your entire left arm, but that's probably just me.

Lucky for me my brother has a chin up bar, but of course since it's a portable one, I don't really feel safe using it. It's the type that you tighten between the door frame and hopefully when you do your chin up, gravity isn't being a bitch, and that no one's is filming if gravity is being a bitch since you don't want to appear on Youtube's front page because that would be HILARIOUS... in a mean bitchy school girl way.

Let's see, I don't think I did anything yesterday except getting 12 muesli bars, a can of nuts among other junk food for my consumption, I have to recuperate myself with junk food before returning to the dreaded island that's Tekong. I'm like a squirrel who's stuffing himself with food before winter hits, except instead of sleeping all day long, I'm gonna be sweating my butt off.

This week I had 4 days off, which sounds long but it's actually really short. Can't wait for National Day, more break please, I want to spend more time with my lazy, couch potato side.

Pwned

A bug flew into the fan yesterday and ricocheted to my forearms before ricocheting into oblivion, because I couldn't find it after.

Anyway I decided to try a new game genre yesterday, DotA, because I needed a game that I could play quickly, I mean I don't have that much time to waste on an MMO now because of Army, now I don't have as much life to waste as I did in the past.

There were 2 options available for me....

Both games are really similar and since I'm super shallow I decided to go for the one with the nicer graphics. Heroes of Newerth it is!

I kinda got the gist of how the whole game works. You control a character, you go around destroying key points before heading for the main enemy building and destroying it. So it took like half an hour or so for me to install the game and log in to play.

As an MMO gamer, I have no idea what I was suppose to do in a DotA styled game so I was very very lost. In Aion before doing anything with a group of people, be it taking down a boss or running an instance (dungeon), I will always disclaimer myself if I had any primary roles like healing.

So in Aion it usually goes like this...

Party Member A : "Finally a healer! Yay!"

Me : "Hey guys, I haven't played in a while so do pardon my bad healing."

Party Member B: "Don't worry about it. Just do your best, we are pretty well equipped."

Me : "Ah okay, that's good."

And then I heal really well simply because I'm awesome. And I am awesome because I have a lot of time to hone my gaming skills due to my lack of social life.

In Heroes of Newerth. I disclaimer myself, not to be humble like in Aion but because I really am a noob.

Me : Hey I'm still pretty new to this game so do excuse me.

RG (Random Gamer): POS (which I guess is suppose to be an acronym for something)

RG 2: SOE (another acronym for something)

And then the game starts and I die

RG 3: SPY! SPY GAME! (Whatever the fuck that means)

RG 2 : NOOB! NOOB! NOOB!

RG 4 has voted to kick you from the game. Vote Failed.

Me : Sorry guys, I'm still new at this.

RG 4 :Spy! You are a spy!

Me : Me?

RG 2: NOOB!

Me : I'm not a spy, I just started this game like less than 10 minutes ago.

RG : Go fuck yourself!

The response I get from a game that's OBVIOUSLY filled with trolls and keyboard warriors who range from the ages of 12 and below. The amount of hostility in the in-game community is crazy.

Didn't plan to start an argument with them because it's really pointless so I just left the game, I mean they are obviously kids or adults who are suffering from mental regression. The only comeback they can come up with is "Fuck you!" or "Noob!", the latter I have already accepted and told them but they can't seem to get that into their skull , which is very very thick to compensate for the very very small brain that's encapsulated within.

And that's the reason I hate kids. Whoever said kids are angels have never played a round of DotA with them before.

I guess...

I will be leaving for Tekong in about an hours time and by allowing myself to successfully write a blog post and post it would probably take me an hour, so you're welcome for the update.

Managed to spend the past 3 days doing absolutely nothing productive, then again I guess Civilian Life is meant for the conscripted soldiers to actually waste their name since they can't do that in the camp... as much as they would like to.

Yesterday and the day before I was just at home surfing the net the whole day, on Youtube trying to look for videos to watch, ended up just watching a lot of SNSD videos.

Had lunch at a 5 star hotel (Pan Pacific)today with my Mum, sister and my brother along with my Mum's relative, who are technically mine as well but I don't really know them that well. It's like me saying I know Angelina Jolie because of the 6 degrees of separation.

When I think 5 star dining, the first thing that pops in my mind is "Quality over Quantity"... and that was so very true at today's lunch. Everyone was served a single dim sum of each variation and my Mum's Aunt ordered about 5 different types and a plate of noodles... the bill arrived, it was $217 and I didn't even feel full at all, that's saying something for a person whom people always mistakes suffers from anorexia and bulimia.

After lunch I scoured the entire Marina Square for a new book to get because the one I've been reading I've finally completed after 1 month, found it in the 3rd book store.

I guess wasting your life at home and doing absolutely nothing actually bores you to death to the point you actually don't mind going back to Tekong to do some physical training. I had that mentality yesterday because I was so bloody bored at home. When you want time to pass slower, doing boring stuff helps I guess.

Next book out is on Saturday. And then book in on Sunday. It's gonna suck.

Novel Needed

2nd book out from Tekong today, I'm going to have to admit this one came by really quickly compared to the 1st bookout.

I can't believe I actually managed to stay sane during the 18 days confinement period because Booking In on Sunday was an instant turn off, saw my bunkmates, took the bus back to the ferry terminal and got instantly attacked by a rush of sianess, alas it was only 5 days long so it wasn't so bad.

Bought my cup of bubble tea as I arrived in Pasir Ris, tasted a little weird and didn't felt as awesome as the one I had last week despite it being made by the same person.

I have no plans whatsoever this weekend and for all my other bookouts, so they will all probably be spend at home surfing the net till 10pm before lights out and waking up again to repeat the process till I book in, and people say I don't have a life. Pfft~

Will probably have to get a new book since the one I'm currently reading in the army entitled "The Strain" is about to come to an end. For me, reading a book takes ages, my bunkmate can read the entire book in 2 days, I received the book 1 month ago and I am only 2/3 done.

I thought reading "The Da Vinci Code" in 6 days was an extraordinary feat, turns out its below average because whilst bragging about that to a group of people when I was in in the band practice room in Secondary School, instead of getting the "Ooos" and "Ahhhs~ I want to have your babies" respond, all I got was... "I read it in 3.". She wasn't trying to brag because there can only be one bragger and he was the deluded as hell.

Hello~ Mainland.

Time to rewrite my first blog post post-NS confinement period, was a little tired to write a proper post last night.

18 days have come and gone, I won't say it went past in a blink of an eye because the longest camp I've been to is only 5 days long and that made me very homesick. Amazingly NS didn't make me as homesick as I thought, but dreaming about Universal Studios Singapore at night in Tekong and waking up to the double decker bed I'm sleeping is a very huge turn off.

Whereas in normal 3 days 2 nights camp situations, counting down is very easy because the countdown is very straightforward, but for NS, my countdown had to be broken down into various parts, first was the countdown to the single digit days left, which meant counting down to the 9 days left mark, and from that became the countdown to the 7 days mark because that meant only a week left, followed by the 5 days mark and finally the 3 days mark. I probably did a lot more breakdowns in my countdown, but I'm a little lazy to write it all down.

Managed to make some friends there, but none I can really count as a "go to friend", like someone I will automatically go to when I need someone to speak to, I'm still pretty much in unfamiliar territory in that part of the army.

This is assumed, but I think I managed to put on 3 kg in the army in just 3 weeks, thats a lot for someone who only gained any weight because his legs decided to grow off into the distance.

As of right now, I'm spending my free time very wisely by using the laptop as much as I can and stuffing junk food into my mouth. First thing I bought yesterday was 2 cups of bubble tea, 5 curry puffs and 6 pieces of those chinese candy thats wrap with chopped peanuts and rice skin, half of which I gave my Mum. Bubble tea tasted delicious, for a junk food enthusiast, being devoid of any junk food for 17 days is sheer torture. I was thinking about junk food the entire time in the army, its just weird for someone who has such a thin frame.

Alas the worst is over, for now. I see the 18 days as the worst because I thought I would only be stuck there for 12 days or at most 14, not 18 bloody days. The good thing about being stuck in there for 18 days is the next few booking outs will arrive so much faster compared to the first one, that is yesterday.

Oh Emma~

It's really hard to try and forgot about my enlistment when my family members are constantly reminding me about it...

"So you ready for Army?"

"When you enlisting again? Monday?"

Well my grandfather's the one who's constantly reminding me about it which is pretty annoying when you're trying to forget about it, and he always gets the date wrong.

Tuesday! Tuesday! It's Tuesday. Not Monday.

Anyways, before being send off to the army against my will, my sister decided to treat me to a movie. As of now the only genre of movies that I think are worth watching in a cinema are horror movies because its the perfect atmosphere, huge and dark with a lot of people, if the sound effects of the movie ain't enough for you, the screams in th e cinema will probably get you going, the screams will start to get so annoying it will make you stand up and ask the person to shut up, and then it turns out she's a pregnant woman and her waterbag starts to burst out of the added fear of you shouting at her...

Insidious

Would have preferred to watch Insidious because it's really creepy and I wanted to be with an audience while watching the movie. Every time they scream I will probably start feeling like a smart ass because I already know what is gonna happen.



But alas....

X-Men First Class

We watched X-Men First Class instead. I was interested in the movie solely for the character Emma Frost.



Emma Frost appeared in the X-Men Origins movie as well, but for like a minute or so, which is bullshit and she looked like this....

I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole.Diggy Diggy Hole. Digging a hole~

That's really disgusting because whenever I see patterns like that, with like thousands of small crevices between them, I have this really bad urge to dig them. I mean it looks really cool but who the hell decided that Emma Frost diamond form should look like this deserves to get shot.

Pew~ Pew~ Pew~

This is how she looks like in the comic, she didn't go to a bling bling store to have Swarovski crystals glued onto her skin for $2 a piece.

Emma Frost in Oval Cut

That's why when I saw this version, I was pleased. Although a little odd compared to the comic book but way better than the other version, she actually looks like a diamond is this movie, not a human reptile with diamond for scales.

To end of this blog post, Magneto, just to balance out the Emma Frost.

Well not Magneto per se but the actor who played Magneto.

My next post will probably happen in 2 weeks, after I get released, I will probably be bitching a lot about it, if I manage to escape the brainwashing that many of our past soldiers went through.

Twitter Block

When I enter the Army, my Twitter timeline is gonna take a turn for the worse, right now I'm slowly trying to resurrect it with like 3 new tweets since last month.

Since I'm gonna be using Twitter soon, I decided to do some blocking here and there and make my Twitter timeline private. There are some people you just don't want to expose your timeline to because they will probably turn your tweets against you.

Probably not but its good to take precautions, you never know when they will start becoming too comfortable with you to make you uncomfortable.....

Blocked : Do you know who needs a life ? This guy right here! *points in my direction* He games all day long he practically doesn't have any friends. Proof

Random Listener : Yeah, he games a lot...

Blocked : ... and this brings me to a meme called "Forever Alone"

Random Listener : Why you so mean. Haha.

Blocked : Nah it's alright, we are friends, its fine. I'm like the only friend he has, so if he gets pissed off at me he wouldn't have any friend left.

The scenarios that goes on in my head makes a seemingly normal person in real life look like a complete asshole.

As I prepare for my life in the army, I must first get my hands on a good phone... my brother warned me not to get an expensive phone lest it gets stolen.

Ironically the phone that's been stolen from me was my first phone that is the Nokia 3315, which was the cheapest phone that I've ever owned. I liked that phone a lot, its freaking comfortable to use.

The most expensive phone I've ever owned, I misplaced on a bus because I was stupid.

Have to get a phone that can serve the internet, gotta watch like 1 Youtube video everyday at least to keep my sanity in the camp. I will probably be watching Shaytards if I can get a phone with a good battery life.

I've been listening to Kpop a lot lately, I don't even know if it's called Kpop anymore because they are making their debut in Japan with Japanese versions of their songs. So that means a lot of Mr Taxi and Replay on replay.

It's weird how people question your taste in foreign music by asking you dumb questions like "Do you understand what they are singing about?". I'm listening to music, not reading a damn book, who cares if I don't understand what they're singing about, as long as the music is good and the singer can sing, its going into my iPod.

I have to admit that its really fun to hear a foreign song so many times you are actually able to lip synch to the song like some muscle memory.

A week left of Civilian Life.

Skipped my Graduation Ceremony on Tuesday after much thought, Well it took me 20 minutes of thinking to change my mind really, decided not to go on Monday night.

Didn't see the point really. I graduated with a 2.5 GPA.... send me off in style with my mediocrity. I'm just bitter because after Graduation is Enlistment into the Army.

My last week of civilian life will be won't be a fun one. It's not fun to know that the following Tuesday will be my enlistment to the army and also to have people do their own stupid countdown on their damn facebook page to constantly remind me of my own.

Just when I have forgotten about it, I log into facebook and I see post like this....

"15 days to the end of my civilian life!"

"10 days till botak!"

"So fast! 14 days to Army."

Thanks for the constant reminder... I don't appreciate it at all. And it's always the enthusiastic malays who are posting that, my chinese friends never do this stupid countdown shit to remind me of a future imprisonment my free Physical Training or 14 days straight of P.E (confinement period, not sure if it's 14 days or 17 days though. Really hoping it's the former obviously) .... I have never enjoyed PE as a kid so my inner Primary and Secondary school kid isn't really screaming with joy at the top of my lungs.

Headed down to CMPB to hand in my Specialist Letter to the Medical Officers, and always get served by the very bitter army medic guys. Never smile, always look super bored and have the can't be fucked face. Understandable though, my face will probably look like that one day if I get into the medic. *fingers crossed* All the injections that I will inflicting on others and myself just makes me so excited, the new names I will be giving to the new styles of injection, it will be like the kamasutra of injections.

I got so nervous during the injection part of the check up on my first days there I actually started laughing at a joke the two medic were making among themselves. I didn't even know what the hell they were talking about, I just decided to giggle since they were giggling, the medic just looked at the nut-bag in front of him that was giggling for no reason and inserted the needle.

Since it was my 2nd time visiting, I was more aware of my surroundings and the first room I got into was straight into the room where everyone had to take their top off. I was able to keep mine on and maintain my dignity, and it was weird because I thought the place will stink a little since everyone had to take their clothes and shoes off, but it smelled really good, then I realize it was because at every side of the room ,except behind the counter, there were 2 automated air freshener so all in all there were 6 air fresheners constantly pumping out Glade or something... if you lighted a match the whole place will probably just explode.

So saw the Medical Officer, PES remained the same, kinda expected that so no disappointment there, I mean could've been worse, they could've upgraded me to A for skiving so much and failing all the time.

Took about an hour and my Mum was waiting for that whole hour which made me feel really bad, couldn't ask her to leave first because my phone had to be confiscated before entering. After that headed to Bukit Timah Shopping Center and bought myself 2 cups of bubble tea.

I have been really addicted to Bubble Tea lately, I have no idea why, it's not for the pearls I know that, can't be the caffeine because if it were for the caffeine I would be having a cuppa everyday. Forever it shall remain a mystery.

p/s. Just did a stupid countdown with my own blog post title. Now I don't appreciate myself reminding myself of my imminent imprisonment.

Virgin Trip to USS

Setting foot into USS (Universal Studios Singapore) yesterday was pretty surreal. I've always thought the only theme park Singapore will ever get will be Escape theme park, which truth to be told is pretty shit since all the rides there are for kids and even the adult rides don't really require much balls to sit to be honest, just a really good stomach.

I saw the giant Universal Studio ball that everyone seem to enjoy taking pictures with and for some reason there was a lot of steam coming out from the ball, but I wasn't really keen on taking picture with the ball because I wanna get into the theme park and ride the rides, and alsobecause there were so many people, a mixture of the already scorching sun and probably the warmth of a thousand sweating people makes for a really really smelly entrance.

So apparently yesterday was booked only for SPH workers and their family and my sister being an employee for SPH meant that her family was able to tag along.

I personally have no idea how crowded USS is suppose to get on a normal day, but as we entered the theme park, the whole place was just swarming with people who were raising their cameras above their head, probably trying to capture what I'm trying to describe here into a photo. It was nuts and I was really turned off by it obviously, for a introvert who enjoys staying at the confinement of his own home, that entrance was a nightmare.

Having discussed ahead of time, me and my sister decided to speed walk out way to the Battlestar Galatica Roller Coaster ride.

Best roller coaster ride I've ever taken, then again I've never really taken one as epic looking as this.

Took a few other rides after that, none as fun as this, although the Mummy ride was pretty fun, was very warm because there was a lot of fire going on in that dark confine space. Fire was literally shooting out from the ceiling at one point before it started pulling everyone backwards like a reverse coaster, that would have been a great time to vomit, especially if you are sitting in front, you don't get soiled by your vomit first of all, and secondly, its so dark no one will even know you have vomited, after a few years people will just think that smell is the smell of rotting mummy corpse. Genius. My train of thoughts is on a roll, that would have made a perfect punt but too lazy to think of one right now.

Going to theme parks makes me feel like a kid again, it's rides first and souvenirs later. I was a moron though because I kept riding and riding till all the stores closed and all I got was the WTF shirt from the Battlestar Galatica store, the one Natalie Tran wears on her videos, Size S. Female

I will probably go there again after I've served for my country. No idea what crime my country did but alright, I will serve since I'm getting paid for it and it's free Physical Training, which I need terribly. Forgive me Father for I have sinned, it's been a week since my last run.

Now I really wanna ride this....

And then I wanna ride on this person's back...

Failed Attempt at Downgrading

In order to not jinx what I hope would be a successful method of getting downgraded for my army PES status, I decided to go visit a skin specialist without telling any of my friends about it.

I have eczema on my right pinky which looks horrible when it starts to shed its skin and I thought that would be a great illness to use against the Army. I just need to show them the finger and I can get excused from any physical activities to prevent the skin condition from worsening, well that was what I thought.

So a few weeks ago I decided to head to the Polyclinic to get a reference letter to see a skin specialist, and the only reason a person will visit the polyclinic is to either get a MC for their "headache" or get a reference letter to see a specialist so they can get a discount, and people who are suffering from "headache" are swarming the place along with a bunch of old people there with serious leg injuries or potential dementia to get a specialist letter, a swarm of people meant a long queue.

It took 2 hours before my turn finally came, the 2 hours were spend playing my iPod Touch games and listening the Yogscast (which is an awesome british podcast by 2 gamers). Saw the doctor for 10 minutes to get a letter and a medical cream which I didn't bother to use, when you are using your eczema as an excuse to downgrade your PES status, you don't want it to get better.

2 hours wait for a 10 minutes consultation with the doctor, I deserve the specialist letter for waiting for long, the dedication to "keng" is strong. So a few days later I got to see the specialist and the skin clinic was really empty because there wasn't anyone who was pretending they were ill, only people who exaggerated their illness, people like me.

Like 15 minutes after I reached the place I got to see the doctor. She took a look at my finger and asked me what was wrong, told her I was having eczema and it hurts and all the things that happens once a fortnight.

"My finger gets really tender and sensitive" <- Happens like once every few days.

"It starts to bleed and its really hard to do a lot of things" <- Happened like 3 to 4 times

And then...

"I think its starting to affect my other fingers." <- True, the fourth finger on my right hand was flaking. If my pinky eczema condition was akin to having a skin snowstorm, then my other fingers would probably be like the beginning of winter, just slight snowing, not very obvious.

I mean I wasn't lying, I told the truth, I just didn't elaborated on them.

She then told me she will prescribe steroid cream for me and that was it. I didn't wait 2 hours in the Polyclinic just to see a specialist that would give me the same cream, one that's slightly stronger, the polyclinic doctor prescribed. So I decided to asked her to write me a specialist letter, to which she replied...

"It's not that serious, you won't be able to get downgraded from this small problem, I can write what we did today but that's all."

That very day, she crumbled my entire world. She was my only hope in getting downgraded and she had to tell me it was not possible, tried to tell her the gravity of the situation, that I have been on medication for a year and its not really helping, all she could do was give me a review a month later to see how bad the skin will get after.

Obviously its not going to make a difference, so I have been applying the medication and to my dismay it proves to be effective. F*ck.

Just gonna go for the review a month later for fun, probably won't make any difference but gonna try again.

Nom! Nom! Nom!

As the holiday passes quickly and my enlistment date dawns closer, I turn to baking in this time of sadness and stress. To be send to "serve a sentence" for being born a male in this country is, ,as the government put it, a duty or a rite of passage. That sounds ridiculous, the one thing that the guys will be lacking will be patriotism thats for sure.

The last 2 days I've been trying my hand at making Cinnamon Rolls and Cupcakes. Cupcakes can be made by anyone so I'm not going to talk about it. Cinnamon roll on the other hand was my virgin attemmpt.

It was the first time I made bread dough and I thought the yeast would be living critters that would move about as you pour them out of their little sachet, turns out they don't because what you throw inside your dough mixture is more like sea monkeys, they are there doing their work but you can't really see them. Well the one I used was dry yeast so it was probably rotting corpse.

The dough actually rose after an hour, now if you will excuse me, I'm gonna pat my back for the 230th time for a job well done.

Normally when bakers make cinnamon rolls, they roll out the dough, spread butter all over the surface of the dough before introducing an onslaught of brown sugar and cinnamon powder. Well I did different, I mixed the butter and brown sugar with a sprinkle of cinnamon because thats what the recipe asked for.

Cinnamon Mixture

• 42g Unsalted Butter at room temperature
  





• 100g Brown Sugar
  





• 1/2 Tablespoon Cinnamon Powder
  

Unless you are only planning to make Cinnamon Rolls with a hint of Cinnamon, never ever only use 1/2 a tablespoon of Cinnamon Powder, I actually put in 1 tablespoon because the mixture I had didn't look brown enough and I thought that was cinnamon overkill, turns out it wasn't.

I couldn't tell because the smell of the powder was so overbearing, I never understand people who say butter spells amazing, it does smell good in bread like croissants but by itself it just smells like a yellow chunk of solidified sweat and it's so pungent the whole thing has become yellow.

After rolling out the dough, I proceeded to spread the butter sugar cinnamon mixture on the dough very skeptically because something that smells like sweat can't come out smelling or tasting great. And I also spread it a little too thick, so when I rolled and cut the cinnamon rolls there was this thick layer of butter mixture that was sitting between the rolled dough pieces.

Lo and behold, it came out looking like this.

It actually doesn't look like cinnamon rolls, much less taste like it. It was more like glazed bread. So the people should probably renam their recipe to caramel glazed bread. It's good but it wasn't the end result I wanted. Well you can't always get what you want, thats why my macarons keep failing.

Note to self. Use Muscovado Brown Sugar next time and be generous with cinnamon powder, very generous.

The font's looking different because I just copied this entire chunk of text from my Tumblr post creation page. Apparently you can't type an entire chapter out in Tumblr because after that you get auto signed out, thats why tumblr users are only able to repost pictures and write short phrases.

~!~

I have not move.

Digression

I've just decided to get a mistress blog to fill this void in my life.

Haven't even got used to Tumblr yet and it's already giving me problems. Apparently you can't take too long to write a post in Tumblr because after a few minutes it signs you out without you knowing.

I got stuck at the "Post" page when I tried to publish my post.

The little loading circle just kept spinning and spinning.

Proper Update.

Not having any school really does something to a person's body clock, I use to live in a GMT +8 body clock, but at this point I'm pretty sure I've just went to... too lazy to calculate.

Not only am I sleeping at 3 am every night and waking up at 12.30 pm every day, at this point in time I can't even remember what day it's suppose to be today because I've been staying at home since school ended all day. I would be a healthier version of a basement dweller I suppose since I dwell in a corner near the window where I can actually get some sunlight once in a while to photosynthesis.

I might probably go out one day just for the sake of going out because after a while its just really sad and the background music in my head just gets really really depressing. Plus I am really wanting to drink me some KOI Bubble Tea. I never understand how people can't taste the difference between KOI and a random Bubble Tea store.

"Hmmm... no difference what? So disappointing, queue so long but the tea not up to my standard."

Obviously it's not "up to standard" when what you had in mind was a cocaine laced bubble tea drink with super delicious pearls that have a soft centered filling of awesomeness. But than again everyone is entitled to their own opinion, even if that opinion isn't right.... and by right I mean whatever I think is right. Kthxbye

I've actually decided to remove the rant I made yesterday about someone I met online because writing that just made me realize how much I need to get my ass out of my house. The moment you start thinking your online buddies are real life friends, its time to ask your Mum to grab the broom to chase you out of the house to get a life.

My 21st Birthday happened 5 days ago and unlike everyone out there who take their 21st Birthday "really seriously", I stayed at home and ate this delicious durian cake my Mum bought as my birthday cake... It was f*cking delicious... Angie's Choice is like the KOI of cake shops in Singapore.

But if I were to have a 21st Birthday Party, it's gonna be the most self centered, most obnoxious 21st Birthday Party ever.

And the theme shall be~

"Me.! Me.! Me.!"

Screw You. It's all about me today."

It's good to be honest. People will have to dress according to me. If I want you to dress as a bunny, you had better come in a hopping to my house in a bunny costume.

^^

Someone's been watching too many Super Sweet 16....

I get why she's pissed about it... when I am about to get a new car for my birthday, I want to show it off to EVERYONE in my party... not just my close friends, Spoiled Attention Seeking Brats should deserve all the Attention they want.

Argirly

The past few weeks have been spend playing Aion. I don't even feel good telling people about it anymore...

School ended like 3 weeks ago, I think, and during that period of time I have done absolutely nothing useful , I mean animals are still facing extinction, the sea waters are still getting polluted by oils spills and my macaron making techniques are still not on par with Pierre Herme.

So I was shown my graduation picture ahead of time... like before it will be published in the graduation book and shared with the entire world because I have a friend who was doing the photos, and I was horrified at the picture... like the majority of people in my class when they saw my picture their own pictures. It wasn't pretty at all.

Crazy Level Up

I haven't actually been following the Grammy Awards at all, which explains why I didn't realise the whole new level of crazy Lady Gaga has reached.

Kinder Surprise. Lady Gaga Edition

When I first saw it I can't help imagining how the interior looked like, because it looks quite comfortable to me. I have this fascination of hiding myself in an enclosed space in crowded spaces. <- Pretty sure I have S.A.D at this point.

It's funny how the interview on the Red Carpet went when Lady Gaga and her posse were being interviewed by Ryan Seacrest . Anything Ryan Seacrest asked with relation to Lady Gaga being inside the egg was replied with...

"She's incubating right now."

Ryan : What's she wearing exactly?

Model : I can't tell you. She's incubating right now.

Ryan : Is it comfortable in there?

Model : She's in the process of incubation right now. She's been there for a very long time.

Ryan : Can you hear me Lady Gaga?

Model : *Gaga squeezes her face to the shell and the model starts pointing* She's currently incubating.

The keyword for the interview : Incubation

It was quite funny because you know it's probably like a sauna in the egg capsule, I could see like vapor forming inside the capsule, Lady Gaga must have been sweating so much that she created a hot-spring with her own sweat inside that egg.

There was a part on the interview where they told Ryan Seacrest Lady Gaga won't be coming out of the capsule until her performance, which I think is a lie.

You can tell from the red carpet picture that she was wearing a black dress or shirt or whatever definition you have for the things Gaga put on herself.... but when she broke out of the egg to sing her song, she was in a toga. They obviously had to take her out of her egg before she drowned in her hot spring of sweat.

Right now I'm just very curious as to how the interior of the egg looked like because if it's true that Lady Gaga stayed in the egg till her performance.... Where does she store her mini wardrobe?

Happy Lunar New Year

Happy Lunar New Year.

Chinese New Year is definitely better than Christmas...

First of all, instead of getting presents that I will probably never use ever, like a self help book titled "Controlling the Urges to stick a Toothbrush Down Your Throat." I get Red Packet money to buy stuff that I will really use, like a spare toothbrush to stick down my throat.

And secondly, I get to be abused by my cousins more than once. Last Christmas they threw toy cars at my face, this Lunar New Year my face was almost whacked by a Wii-Mote my cousin was happily swinging around while playing Warioware. It was as if I was in a movie show where I barely dodged a bullet, I literally felt a breeze as he swung his Wii-Mote near the back of my head.

I have no idea what day of the Lunar New Year this is, but I'm pretty sure I'm done for the New Year since I have no intention of letting of my friends visit my house nor do I have any intention of going to theirs because I have so many request it's just exploding my email inbox.... I have to keep telling them No but they just wouldn't listen to me. Even went to their house to beg them to come and they didn't even bother to answer the door.

Anyways, right before Chinese New Year, I was on Facebook as usual stalking every single classmate of mine to see their progress on their FYP, (I just felt a rush of sian-ess as I wrote FYP, yup, just felt that rush again) and on their wall they write things like...

"FYP so many things to do, No CNY for me."

"Bye Bye CNY, FYP all the way."

... and being the person who takes everything literally, I thought they were really gonna forgo CNY celebrations and just stay at home the whole day doing their FYP. That just made me felt really stressful because I had every intention to go visit my cousins and grab money from my Aunties and Uncles, which means while I'm busy taking money from my Aunties and Uncles, they are gonna be at home doing their 3D renderings and Construction drawings.

First day of CNY, I log into Twitter and I see tweets that range from "Gonna go for my nail manicure today." all the way to "On the way to Malaysia to visit my relatives.". Nice!

That being said, I think I would be writing things like them if I was active on Facebook, although I really do believe some of the really hardworking ones really did not celebrate CNY at all, like all the Malay people... and some Chinese people which I don't understand why they would actually skip taking free Red Packets. It's money that you don't have to bend-over for people.

Ah well, before CNY my mood was completely destroyed by my grades. Although I knew I wouldn't be getting a B or an A for my grades, it still sucks to see a C and D appearing on the list. I just wanna flip the lecturers off sometimes. Thanks to them I am no longer gonna pursue Interior Design when I graduate. I manage to waste my time going to a school that specializes in Engineering for a design course, to a course that doesn't even have a firm foundation of design and doing projects that are in no way related to Interior Design, almost half the projects I've done in school have no link at all. I remember telling my Secondary School friends what I was doing for my FYP and they were a little shocked because instead of designing a space, I was designing a bridge. THAT'S WHAT YOU CALL A WASTE OF TIME.

Alright, thats all the negativity this post is gonna get.

Gonna take my NAPFA on Monday. What I need is not luck, but a miracle to even pass.

Medical Check-Up

Today was the day that would decide my fate for my NS days. Initially I was feeling quite alright as I entered the place, there were a moderate amount of guys awaiting turn to enter the various stations for their check-ups.

First station was to test my hearing where I tried to fake partial deafness. Didn't work because I didn't do enough research pre-checkup on how a person with partial deafness would react to sound. Followed by the eye-check up which I aced... and they say staring at the computer screen for an prolong period of time forces you to wear glasses. I'm living proof that that is a myth. I'm in no way responsible if you actually go blind from staring at your computer screen for too long.

Next up was X-Ray. Stand in front of a machine and press your bare chest against it with your hands to your back while the person-in-charge humps you from the back and tells you to call him Daddy.

After which was the station I was dreading the most, the blood taking station. Damn needles just freaks me out. Whoever started the lie "Like ants bite only, not pain one." obviously is a masochist, at least define the type of ant because those ants that I squash on a daily basis do not sting like a needle does. Now there's this red spot on my hand that looks like I got bitten by a fire ant.... or syphilis.

Dental was next and it was funny when the guy started telling his assistant all the fillings that

were found in my teeth....

"Upper-row fourteenth, verniers

"Bottom-row, fifteenth, cheap fillings from Malaysia"

"Top Left corner teeth, not erupted."

After 2 minutes he just punches my entire mouth to makes his life easier.

"Colour everything black, these kid doesn't have any teeth."

By the way, the cheap filling from Malaysian is not a lie, it's really cheaper there, albeit uglier but who cares when your teeth is already jacked up.

I can't remember if there were anymore station but I'm guessing after that dental one was the one where I had to enter a room, remove my top and join all the other half naked guys. Wasn't a pleasant sight at all... I felt a little uncomfortable to be honest because I was the only one who was turning everyone on. There were boobies here and spare tires there it was very very confusing.

Looking back now I should have told the Medical Officer all the "medical problems" I had. I was trying to be discreet and not over do it because if the MO finds out you are faking your conditions or exaggerate it... you might get get screwed in the butt... and I didn't need that because my ass was still sore from calling the X-Ray Station guy Daddy.

In the end I got a PES B because I was, according to the Medical Officer "Too thin and had eczema, which isn't that serious," <- I'm not The Apprentice material because Donald Trump would be so disappointed in me, like how I am at myself now.

Why B? Why B?

Once Bitten Twice Shy.

Today I had to do a presentation in school that I wasn't aware of. Thankfully my group-mates did a few slides and decided to give me some to pass of as my own which made me feel really bad. I blame my Final Year Project.

So whilst presenting the slides, the class, as usual, was filled with a bunch of students who are spirited away mentally and being someone who's desperate for attention like the whore that I am, I decided to do something even worse than giving a two dollar blow job.

I made a joke, which in my mind at that time thought was funny. Not "LOL" funny but I was thinking it might get a few chuckles from people who are feeling sorry at my attempt of making a terrible joke and are laughing to avoid that awkward silence.

My aim was to explain what contrast means and I wanted to give an example. In order to allow the lifeless bodies of the students in my class to understand better what it meant... I made a stupid analogy that went like this...

"I have 2 food. A Burger and a Salad. When I eat the burger, I will feel full and fat and if I were to eat a salad, I would feel good about myself and still be hungry. Contrast."

Not so funny now that I am reading it over again so obviously no one laughed because they didn't really know that the sentence was even meant to be a joke.

After which I said....

"Great... I made a joke and no one laugh."

... in a very annoyed tone because I just bombed in front of a bunch of people I was trying to perk up, right after that I heard someone going "Huh?".... her spirit suddenly came back to her body for that one second to go "Huh?".

I just wasted my breath on a bunch on people who don't get sarcasm. FANTASTIC.

And then I realize this scenario happened before... twice. Because I tried too hard on an audience that don't get it. Obviously the saying (blog title) doesn't apply to me because I'm desperate attention seeking man whore who would do anything for a laugh from the audeince.

A certain type of CAN'T

I feel like I have to disclaimer here... I'm not talking about Women in general... just the small group whose actions make them look like a certain private part that helps in the process of creating life.

I've always been fascinated by girls who like to provoke guys to do things by questioning their manhood...

"Come'on, do it. Be a man."

"You have no balls to do it? And you call yourself a man."

And by fascinated I mean a great distaste towards such woman.

It's one thing to tell a man to do things for you because you really need help like telling them to lick your elbows because you can't reach it with your own tongue... but it's another to tell a guy to do embarrassing things or things that will land them in big trouble just to entertain you .

Just today, I had one female classmate telling me and another guy friend of mine to test out some machine that we shouldn't be touching and being someone who knows what's right and wrong... I just smiled at her direction, shook my head and declined her offer to try out that machine... and her retort...

"You are GUYS... No balls."

The more girls like her provoke me by telling me nonsense like ...."And you call yourself a guy." or "Dude, be a man and help me.".... the more I won't do what they tell me to. I don't have to prove anything to you...I'm gonna grab a ball and shove it up your... and now you have more balls than me.

Don't be a f*cking cunt.

It's so freaking annoying when certain girls treat guys like their personal slave and tell them to do things in a very condescending manner....

"My handbag very heavy, carry for me !"

"Open the car door for me."

"*cough* *cough*.... *looks at chair*... * cough* *cough*"

Unless you are carrying a unisex bag... Think... Your boyfriend might start appearing on STOMP because a guy and a LV Monogram Multicolor Women Bag doesn't look good on a guy. You want them to be more "MAN" but you make them carry a women handbag because you hands are about to break from carrying your bag that has your make-up ,wallet, handphone, a giant elephant and a 100 kg dumbbell.

And apparently because the bag's so bloody heavy you hands are too tired to open the car door... its a guys job to open the car door or pull out the chair for the girl because it's "chivalrous"... that's why it's the chauffeurs and waiters that always gets the ladies.

If a girl were to demand me to "Open the door for me because you are a guy."... her ass is gonna meet the floor when we are at the restaurant.

Guy will pull out the chair for you to sit because it's our duty as a guy to help you ladies get seated first and not because we're your personal slave that needs to do everything for you.

Get this in your f*cking head.

To those dumb girls who have such a mentality....

WHY ARE YOU NOT IN THE F*CKING KITCHEN MAKING US A SANDWICH!

Churros

Getting a silent critique is probably like taking that first puff of smoke from a cigarette... at first you feel really dirty and take showers every 5 minutes until you become a life size scented car freshener. That was a terrible analogy because I don't smoke so I don't know how "awesome" it really feels for your lungs.

Although that being said, my critique session in school yesterday wasn't really a silent critique, the late comers still had to present, but after that we had a whipping session at the principal office bondage style... read the last line as "Points Deducted"... and I was thrown to the back of the line. A typical Singaporean would've been pissed off but I'm not because I'm very gracious plus that's not KOI so screw it.

I guess the only problem I had with critique yesterday was the body language one of the lecturer was giving me...

" Wow, your models are so small... what's the scale. 1:2000?"

"It's 1:200"

*Sighs deeply, shakes head and looks away.*

... because size matters, it's what every woman wants, a dick long enough to bust their entire digestive system during penetration.

For the record, a smaller model doesn't equate to one that has less effort because it took me about 100 degrees off my near perfect eyesight to complete the models. And as time went by she decided to turn her sarcasm up like a few thousand notches... and being in such a formal situation and probably the most important moment of my life for that one day, I couldn't fight sarcasm with sarcasm... although I'm pretty interested to see how that will turn out... she will probably sigh really deeply and look away.

It wasn't the worse critique ever, which is shocking to me because to everyone else, the latest critique session they had will probably be the "worst one ever".... not for me though, probably because the last one had me crying myself to sleep.

My latest endeavor after my Macaron mania was to follow a Nigella Lawson recipe so I decided to go ahead with this one...

It's essentially a Churros recipe that Nigella has managed to dumb down like crazy... and I thought it would be easy to make it because if Nigella can do it why can't I?... then I realize she isn't Martin Yan.

She lied about the "250 mils of Hot Water"... I think she added only like 3/4 of a cup which is like 3/8 of the original one that was called for. I added like 125 ml of water and the whole thing got so wet... and when I piped it out from my piping bag, the piping bag started leaking because the batter was not as dry as the one in the video.

That's like the best way to get people to buy your book, you give them the wrong ingredients measurements on TV and psych them up enough to go crazy and obsessed over the ingredients because they might have heard it wrong. Of course I'm referring to those who have no idea how to use the internet or didn't add Youtube to their Facebook... not literally of course but I am pretty sure every internet users will add Youtube to their friend list somewhere unless Youtube ruined their life.

So to add to my list of cooking failures.... Nigella's Churros Recipe right next to Macarons among other inedible experiments of mine.

I was actually watching a movie called "Stone" earlier but I got bored of it so I decided to go Wikipedia to read the synopsis to see how it would end.

No one added a proper synopsis because everyone's as bored as me when they watched the film... so it's not me or Milla Jovovich boobies. She had a topless scene... I got bored.