Just Ramblings

My Company's Annual Dinner happened last night and I have to say, it wasn't as enjoyable as I had anticipated.




The first time I went for my Company's Annual Dinner, I had only joined the company for 3 days, so I didn't know anyone there and the whole experience was just extremely uncomfortable, but since then, a year has passed and I have grown closer to some of my colleagues as well as some of the contractors that were also invited to the event, so I knew for sure the experience now won't be as bad as it was then.




I reach the venue relatively early and was having small talk with those who were there as well, not really having any insightful or deep conversation, but at least I was chatting with people and not awkwardly standing at one corner trying to avoid everyone.




As the minutes went by, more and more people started coming in and that was when things got worse for me. I am not someone who flourishes in crowded gatherings, in fact, when thrown in such surroundings, I will automatically become reclusive and avoid the area where the crowd is gathering, which resulted in me sitting at a corner of the gathering/mingling space and looking through my Social Media, hoping that the Dining Banquet Hall will quickly open and finally allow us to enter.





So for the seating arrangements, there are a total of 16 tables, 3 of which are VIP tables reserved for the staff of my company and the other 13 are just regular tables for the contractors and suppliers. When I was told to sign in, I have to admit, it was honestly kinda shit to notice that due to the lack of seating available in the 3 VIP table, I was relegated to the regular table with all the other suppliers,  but not just me, 4 other colleagues were also bumped down to the Non-VIP area, one being a new guy I did not speak to the entire night because I am awkward like that.





Now, if everyone in the VIP table had a high sales track record or some sort of seniority in the company, then fine, I will admit my sales figure are horrendous and if the seating arrangements are based on how much one has contributed to the company, I really have nothing to say, but the fact that one girl who had only joined the company less than 2 weeks ago, who hasn't racked in any sales, was actually seated in the VIP section over the 5 of us in the non-VIP section, 4 of whom are more senior and have higher sales record than her, it just doesn't feel like a justified arrangement.




I mean I get why she is seated there, she is friends with one of my senior colleague, so the person-in-charge of the seating probably wanted to get friends to sit with one another and I am sure they have no ill will when they decided to bump me down to non-VIP, but the sodium crystal is real, I am a little salty about it.



But otherwise, the dinner itself was alright, I was really bored at one point to be honest because even though I was seated with a colleague I have no problem starting a conversation with, the giant speakers that were situated right behind where I was seating just killed any mood I had for conversation, to be competing with the emcee,who, on top of having a mic, is still projecting her voice, I just can't deal with the potential...

"Huh?"

"What?"  

....from my colleague, to the eventual...


"Mmm hmmm" followed by a patronizing smile, which is when the person just gives up trying to catch what you are saying and just assume everything you are saying is a rhetorical question or some kind of funny comment.




I went thinking things will be different, was actually looking forward to it a little, got disappointed when I realize I'm just not someone who will be able to enjoy such event, stayed for the lucky draw, won the small prize, then had no choice but to stay until everything was over and was probably the very first person in my company to leave the event.





Honestly am not sure if I will still be working in the company till the next Annual Dinner, I mean I really enjoy my work schedule now, or at least I don't hate it, still can't stand it when customers start messaging me at night or really at anytime of the day to complaint about their renovation progress, but I have grown fond of some of my colleagues' company and most importantly, I enjoy not having to report to work at a specific time every weekday, that is the best part about this job, but with that flexibility comes a severe lack of income.



I have completed a few projects and only recently decided to have the finance accountant tabulate the bills and calculate the total commission, so I will be expecting to get a total commission of hopefully $8,700 very soon, if I have not miscalculated that is, would be great to get it before Chinese New Year, add that to the red packets I will be receiving, hopefully my savings account will revert back to the amount I had a year ago.




A little over a year and I only made a total of $10,000. This is almost like I am back in the army and drawing an allowance, it's not even really considered a pay. That being said, I am looking forward to the month of June, hopefully I will be able to draw another $10,000 in commission then, should all my projects run smoothly without any hiccup, running smoothly would be a huge overstatement though, so far most of my projects have brought me nothing but anxiety and it seems to get worse.


Every time I think...

"The next project can't be as difficult as this one."

... BAM! I get a never heard before, not really a problem, bullshit issue I have to deal with.



It is very disconcerting to have worked for a year and see the numbers in my savings account slowly dwindle away, had I stayed and worked for my Dad, I'm sure my savings would have probably doubled by now, but then I wouldn't have gotten any legit work experience, so there is a give and take in this situation I suppose.




Would love to look for a new job, but I really do not enjoy discussing it with anyone at this point because I am still legit confuse as to what I would actually do should I decide to no longer dabble in the line of sales. I mean I for sure am not going to be in this line forever, this career is just not right for me, evident from my lack of a paycheck, it's just a matter of when I will leave.



Every time my Mum ask me...

"Has the company paid you yet"

... it's sort of like a wake up call for me, that this is a job, that I am suppose to be earning an income, but for some reason, 1 year into the job and I am still not making a single cent, aside from that $1000 I did earn from a small project.



I really am waiting for all my projects to end before I really start looking for a new job, complete all my projects, receive my pay, relax in the company for another month whilst looking for a new career and once I have found the right one, finally say my goodbyes and leave the company and this line for good.



It's hard to really quit thought, I was honestly not expecting anymore new projects for myself after the last one I got in December, but then I was suddenly inform by another customer that they wanted to engage me for their renovation. It honestly baffles me when a client decides they want me to run their project for them, I mean I appreciate the fact that trust me enough to run the project for them, but I just really don't get why they would pick me as a designer, it's odd, especially for this particular client because I really didn't put in any extra effort in their initial proposal or actively contacted them regularly to beg them to hire me, the reason why they finally decided to engage me was actually due to a misinterpretation they had of me in an email I had replied to them, answering a few questions they had for me regarding the renovation.




According to the husband, he had actually shortlisted me and another designer from another company, and he send both emails to that designer and myself. Since I didn't really want to run the project for them, I actually did not bother responding, thinking that that should be enough of a hint for them, but then the wife started texting me for, asking me if the email was ready, so I responded and answered their questions in the email without really bothering to let them know if what they had requested was feasible or not.



Well, apparently, instead of giving direct answers back to my client, the other designer replied with even more questions of his own, I didn't ask my clients exactly what the other designer asked, but it was enough to turn them off , so I am not sure if  that designer was asking legit questions about the feasibility of their requirements, or if he or she was just plain annoyed and wanted nothing to do with my clients.



At the end of the day, I would say no one really won.


1. I got a project I didn't want.

2. My client got a designer who wasn't interested in their project.

3. If the other designer had asked those questions out of legitimate concern and my client completely overlooked it, I would honestly feel really sorry for my clients.



But if I were to be optimistic, then....


1. I got a new project!


2. They got an inexperienced designer, that means there's a chance for the quotation to be miscalculated, leading them to actually save more money. And as someone who doesn't really like to charge my customer for any additional renovation works, they will potentially be saving even more money, which once again proves why I am not cut out for this line of work.


3. The other designer legitimately didn't want to run the project and he got what he wished for.



Well, the new project is slated to start next week, already applied for the permits and everything, but my clients are really bad at replying to my messages so I am not sure exactly how smooth this renovation is going to go.

Mutually Exclusive

Getting a customer who has a very tight budget can sometimes be a little challenging to deal with and a lot of times, I get that a new homeowner won't really know how much the renovation will cost, so they just throw in an amount they are most comfortable with as their budget and then just try their luck and hope that the budget will be feasible, but as someone who has seen a dozen different homeowners and know how much it actually cost, I can't help but get a little annoyed.





Well, I met one such customer yesterday and so the first thing I asked him was how he actually got to that minuscule figure for his budget, $20,000 to renovate a 5 Room Flat, $20,000 that's also meant to include doing tiles for the entire living room and 3 bedroom, that's very very low, he laughs at my question and then tells me...

"I understand the budget is a little low, so I am willing to go up to $35,000, but really nothing higher than that."

... when a customer tells me he doesn't want to go higher than a certain amount, I just find it really fascinating that they would tell me that, because how high the renovation figure will go really depends on how extensive your renovation requirements are, I am not someone who will charge an exuberant amount for the renovation works, all my projects have dangerously low profit margins, so telling me you want to keep within a budget won't equate to me charging you lower because I already charge lower than most of my colleagues.



But anyways, the consultation starts and having told him that his budget is very tight, I was under the assumption that he will hold back on his requirements and just do the bare minimum, so when we were discussing about the layout of the kitchen,which is the first area I always ask my clients about, I was pleasantly surprised when he told me...

"I want to do kitchen cabinets on just one side, we will leave the other side untouched."

....I thought, well, this guy is being realistic and really going for just the bare minimum, maybe his budget will work, definitely not the $20,000, but $35,000 feels really possible.





And then everything went to shit when he goes...

"I plan to hack the wall on the other side of the kitchen, just a half height hack and do a folding glass door, and then introduce a counter top for dining."

... that was when I realize he is anything but realistic, and his unrealistic ideas doesn't stop there because after the kitchen is done, he proceeds to the living area and starts requesting for a butt load of carpentry that only customers with a generous budget will opt for, and it was honestly just completely mindblowing hearing him go on and on about how he wants to do this and do that, it is insane just how far he thinks his $35,000 can stretch.




When the living room was done, and I know for a fact that his requirements have already gone WAYYYY over budget, he brings me to his master bedroom and tells me...

"I want to do a walk in wardrobe area, but I want it to be completely enclosed in glass, so it will be like a separate room."

...I don't know why, but I was just getting really annoyed after a while because it feels like he is wasting my time requesting for items he won't be able to afford, like AT ALL. So I just told him ...

"Honestly speaking, the items you have requested has already exceeded your original budget."

... like are you serious about the glass walk-in wardrobe right now?  Have some sense, please, and he goes...

"Yeah, but I would like to know how much all this items will cost, so later I can see which items I want to remove and move on from there."

... Well, I have calculated his final figure and not surprisingly, it has exceeded his budget by at least 2 folds.




Needless to say, seeing how he has such unrealistic standards, scheduling a second appointment with him just feels really pointless, in the end, he is just going to takeaway EVERYTHING and then stick to the bare necessities, I really don't see myself running his project for him and if budget is really his main concern, than it is safe to say that I won't be one of the designers that he will shortlist.


I charge a low price, but my contractors are not cheap, so in the end, even though I don't earn much, my quote is still not the lowest in the market, which is a pity, but it also eliminates really cheap homeowners, which I guess is a good thing.



When he told me he would be willing to pay more if the design is good, I can just tell it's complete bullshit, when he tells me he is willing to pay more, I don't think he knows how much "more" actually refers to.



Design and a Tight Budget are not requirements that go together, if you want design, you better be prepared to pay more, otherwise, settle for the basic if budget is really an issue for you.



When I see the requirements as...

"Design Centric, Cost Effective."

.... it automatically gets labeled as a waste of time in my books. I will still meet them if they request for it, but I won't take them seriously, like this client, I couldn't even be bothered to scale the floorplan, just created a quote base on estimated measurements because there's just no point putting in so much effort for a client with so little potential.

Pompous

I recently met a client that I just don't really understand and I actually met him and his wife twice.



Normally when I meet a client that I do not like or just find to be a little odd and could potentially spell trouble and cause a lot of renovation anxiety for me in the future, I won't bother following up, much less actually agree for a second appointment, but this client is different.



During the very first meet up,  I asked them a simple question I ask all my clients before we actually start the consultation...

"Do you have a floorplan with you?"

...this is the very basic and vital item you will need when you actually visit an Interior Designer for a consultation, and I will always get responses like...

"Yes, here you go!"

or 

"I only have the soft-copy, maybe I can email it to you and you can print it out?"

...  but every once in a while, I will get a customer who will tell me...

"Oh, I do not actually have it with me right now."

...and then they will leave after 15 minutes because the consultation is completely pointless if there isn't any floorplan for us to discuss.




Even when they do not have a floorplan, they are aware, upon hearing my request for it, that it is very important for them to provide the designer with the floorplan.




Well, this particular client, let's call him Bill, not only did not have a floor plan with him, he actually had the cheek to tell me, straight to my face...

"I will not provide a floorplan for you, the floorplan will be prepared by you for us once we have confirm our services with you."

... upon hearing that ridiculous statement, I was honestly starting to get really irritated by how misconstrued his statement was and just how there was this air of pompousness when he was saying that to me.




No one wanted to serve him and his wife when they walked into the shop, I only did so because I had no choice as everyone else had a legit reason, so to have to serve a walk-in customer so begrudgingly and then to know right from the get go how unpleasant one of them was, I can't help but just feel annoyed.




Needless to say, the consultation was a complete waste of time but during the supposed "consultation", Bill and his wife were constantly sharing ideas with me, talking about how they wanted to shift the bed outwards into the dining room, how they wanted to knock a few walls down and remove the air-con unit because it was damage, I had no idea what they were talking about because there is no fucking floorplan, so it was still a very very pointless session.




The wife did showed me a video she took of the house and it helped a little, but there really wasn't much I could do because I needed a floorplan to play around with the space planning, I can't just do the space planning in my head through a video.




So knowing for sure that I was not interested in their project, especially after how the husband responded to my request for a floorplan, I decided to be very honest with them and told them I was not very familiar with their apartment type because I have never done it before, thinking that using my lack of experience was going to be sufficient at scaring them off, it did work for a little, but then it didn't because Bill went...

"I do not want to offend you, we would actually prefer a more experienced designer, but maybe you should drop by our house to take a look, get a proper feel of the home and have a better idea of the space once you are there in our unit."

... I really wanted to say no, but I didn't know how to say no, so I agreed begrudgingly and sent them on their way out.

Fast forward to today, I dropped by their unit in the afternoon and was greeted by the wife, Bill soon came out from the bedroom and greeted me as well and I just asked them straightaway...

"Have you guys decided on EXACTLY what you want to renovate because I honestly wasn't very clear what you guys wanted to do during the first consultation."

... Bill and his wife looked at each other for a while, and they started to repeat what they told me during the first consultation, to move the bedroom outwards, to knock the walls down etc etc, and then Bill starts talking about wanting to install a curtain partition between the dining room and the living area. 

I do not have any supplier that does the curtain partition he was talking about, so I ask him if he knew of any suppliers, that maybe he can get his own supplier to install those partition for him, to which he replies in a rather annoyed tone...

"I do not want to manage the renovation on my own. You are the designer, you should be the one managing the site for us. We don't want to be dealing with any of the contractors, if the contractors do a bad job, then we will find you directly, and we will beat up up."

....the way he said what he said really rubbed me the wrong way, like it would to anyone, but I just laughed it off and told him that I do not have any suppliers that does the curtain partition, to which he replies...

"You are the designer, you should be sourcing the suppliers for us."

All I wanted him to do was tell me if he had his own contacts, if he knew of a shop that could do that for him, just requesting for him to source for ONE supplier on his own and he makes it sound like I am making him do all the work, I wasn't asking him to source for his own carpenter, his own electrician, his own ceiling contractor, etc, I have a list of suppliers that are necessary for all home renovation,  but if you have a very specific renovation requirement, like curtain partitions (not the normal curtain but the heavy duty ones) or let's say a door for pets, don't expect every design firm to have the contacts for this items that will only only requested by a very niche group of customer.

But what really got me when I actually ask him if he knew of any supplier was the fact that he actually told me afterwards...

"Even if I did have the contact information of the supplier, I won't be sharing it with you. It is your job as the designer to source out this suppliers for us. And I also don't think it will be fair if I shared the contact with you because I did not share it with the other designer we met."

... HUH!!?!?!?!?! 

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

I really do not understand what upper-hand I would actually get should I be given the contact of the supplier.


Isn't the end goal to have a supplier install the fucking curtain partition for you?


Do you NOT want to receive the quotation as soon as possible? 


Do you NOT want to confirm with a designer as soon as possible?


Just what is the point of making things so difficult for the designers during the early stages when you haven't even paid us a single cent yet?


What the fuck does being fair have to do with the actual renovation?


Why is it so important for both designers to source out the supplier for the curtain partition themselves ?

This whole thing is just so bloody fucking unnecessary.

We are not getting paid to source the suppliers for you! I am not getting any monetary incentive to put extra effort into your fucking proposal. I don't even want to run the fucking project, the only reason I even showed up was at the flat today was out of goodwill.




I was honestly contemplating on being a complete no-show until the wife actually texted me in the morning to confirm the appointment.

I told them that it will take me 2 weeks to come up with the proposal and quotation, but it normally only takes me a day or two. I just have no interest to run the project for them because of how pompous Bill was coming across as a client, I just do not want to deal with that self-righteous, entitled attitude of his for the next 3 months. 

And another thing that Bill kept on saying that really really grated on my nerve was...

"This is not my problem, you are the designer, so it's your problem." 

....Whenever I pointed out certain issues that might arise. I fucking hate when customers tell me "it's not my problem, it's your problem", honestly, go fuck yourself.




 IT'S YOUR FUCKING HOUSE! So it is as much your problem as it will be mine, should I be desperate enough to actually close a deal with clients like these.

If I could reach out to the other Interior Designer they looked for, I would like to congratulate him in advance for getting this project because I am not interested AT ALL. So there really isn't any point in Bill wanting this to be a fair fight between the other Designer and me because I know for sure this is a project I won't be taking on.