Extraction

I was unable to get to sleep last night due to a toothache, literally every time I tried to lie down, I will be able to feel some kind of pressure slowly build up on my molar and if I were to use my tongue to slightly press that molar, I would get this dull ache that slowly crescendos into an unbearable soreness, which would jolt me right up and make me pace around the room as I attempt to alleviate it.

 I was planning to visit my dentist next week because that was his earliest availability but the pain on the second night made me realize I wasn't going to be able to wait that long because the discomfort on the first night was nothing compared to the discomfort on the second night, if I waited a whole week, I am not sure what state of pain I would be in.

I was seriously contemplating to go to an emergency dental clinic just to get a root canal and rid myself off the pain and I managed to find one dentist online who claims to offer a 24 hours service, but every attempt at trying to reach him did not actually work. I called him and the phone didn't ring more than 3 times before it was rejected, I tried to reach out via the Online chat and there was no response, so I Whatsapp the number at 2.30am, hoping to get a response, but there wasn't any,

It was a very long, tiring and painful night, I was trying to keep myself entertained by watching Youtube videos, but after a while, the tiredness just takes over, so I will try and find a position to sleep upright, but being someone who can't actually fall asleep unless I am lying down completely flat, I would find myself slowly lying down as flat as I could until I  was comfortable enough, but that would cause the pressure to start building up and I find myself jolted awake by the pain that slowly builds up until it gets really unbearable and start pacing around the room again. This happened for at least half a dozen times.

At about 5.30am, I finally get a response from the 24 hour dentist asking me what issues I was having, so I replied and told him that I was having a really bad toothache and might need to do a root canal if absolutely necessary. To be honest, at this stage, I already knew the root canal is inevitable because I had a similar experience before a few years ago when my front tooth had that build up pressure, only difference is that front tooth had an abscess and this molar one didn't, but doing the Root Canal offered instantaneous relief and I really wanted that relief.

The dentist then went ahead to schedule a 10am appointment for me and I just wanted time to pass  faster so I can get rid of the pain and actually get some sleep.

I know I wasn't going to be able to function properly at work today, so I requested for half day off, not a full day off because I had to be there to oversee a few order transfers, and my goal was to leave right after the transfers were done.

So 10am comes along and I am finally at the dentist, compared to the other clinics I have visited before, this one felt different, it felt almost homey and the receptionist was extremely friendly, so I immediately felt comfortable. We took my X-Ray immediately after I was done filling up the Personal Information Form and about 5 to 10 minutes later, I got ushered to see the dentist on the second floor.

The dentist was looking at my X-Ray as I made my way up and it felt like he wasn't sure what he was looking at, so after we greeted one another, I explained to him what was happening and the history behind the tooth that was giving me so much issue.

History Time.

The very first time this molar started giving me an issue was during my company trip to Malaysia back when I was still with ID4 in 2019, I was suddenly awoken at night with a really really bad toothache, it's the type of soreness that comes after I would tighten my braces, except I was already done with my braces so there shouldn't be any sore. 

I visited the dentist a total of 4 times after that just to get the issue fixed, and we did the regular drilling away of the decay and patching up the hole that was left from it, and it did get better, but sadly, they were all temporary solutions to a permanent problem, because this molar would consistently act up every few months following the initial patch work.

 

The patch work would last for about a year or two before it finally broke off and that was when I found myself visiting the dentist again to try and rectify the molar, this time, the dentist recommended an extraction, but offered alternate solutions which included doing a crown to cover the molar or a root canal, but he was not very confident about the root canal because my molar didn't have a lot of it's original structure left, it was about 70% filling and doing a root canal may potentially cause my entire tooth to just shatter during the procedure, so he recommended I do a crown instead because from the X-Ray, it didn't look like the nerves were being affected by the decay, it was extremely close but he was confident that if we did a crown, we can protect the tooth from further decay, so I agreed to it and ended up forking about $1200 for a zirconium crown, the best and most expensive material for crowning that according to the dentist, will be able to last for a very long time, and it did for a while. This was back when I was still doing ID, so my salary was not stable and shelling out $1200 was a really big deal for me, but I was willing to spend that money if it meant I didn't have to extract anything.

Over the next few months however, I would start getting tooth sensitivity issues on that molar. whenever I drank cold drinks or eat cold foot and swish the beverage towards the left side of my mouth, which is where the problematic molar was, I would get this jolt of pain, so after a while, I just stopped chewing with my left side and only chewed with my right side.

The last time I went back to the dentist for the sensitivity issue was back in January this year, I was having this sudden throbbing pain at work for the entire day that wouldn't go away, but for some reason, it stopped the next day when I was at the dentist, the dentist couldn't find any issue when he looked at the X-Ray and told me it was probably nothing to be worried about, and because I was fine after that, I decided to take his word for it and did nothing. A part of me just wanted to believe everything was fine and that this random sensitivity issue was just going to be a small issue that would always come and go. 

Little did I know, the reason why the pain stopped is because the tooth had died.

This was what the dentist I visited this morning told me after he looked at my X-Ray and he told me that the situation was really really bad, and that it wasn't just my molar that was having the issue, but the tooth right beside was also showing signs of very very bad damage. He did a cold test on the tooth beside my molar and lo and behold, the cold was so sharp my whole body actually jolted on the chair. The receptionist, who was also the dental assistant was super nice and keep rubbing my shoulders to comfort me, she really helped the whole process feel less daunting and then when the test were done, the dentist told me the 1 thing I was hoping we wouldn't have to do...

"I would recommend for you to extract both teeth." 

... I am someone who is extremely self-conscious about my teeth because they were never aligned before I did my braces, for as long as I remembered, I was always very worried about people looking at my teeth, so I would always smile with my mouth closed and when I laugh, I always make sure to cover my mouth with my hand,  and it was only after I did my braces did I feel confident showing my teeth when I am smiling and laughing. 

I really didn't want my teeth to go back to how they were back 10 years ago because it was really really really misaligned and my biggest concern about extracting two teeth is how it could potentially cause the teeth to start shifting around.

Tooth extraction wasn't something I wanted to do, so I asked him what about a root canal, he told me he could do it as well, but it wouldn't really solve the issue because both my teeth were already badly damaged by decay, even if he were to do the root canal successfully, it wouldn't guarantee that the decay won't come back again, and if it does come back, the teeth will be even weaker than before due to the root canal treatment and I might face more issues down the road.

I really contemplated about what to do for a while and after really thinking about his advise, decided to go for the extraction because what the dentist said was true, the teeth are already severely damaged, the fact that I have been having tooth sensitivity issues for the past few years and having to constantly go back to a dentist and have the same tooth checked is a clear indication that it needs to go. I have wasted so much time and money trying to salvage something that is already beyond repair, extraction would be doing me and my 2 teeth a favor. That being said, it was a very painful decision because not only would I be losing 2 teeth, I will also be throwing the super expensive zirconium crown away.

The dentist starts prepping me for the extraction by numbing my mouth and I always felt like extraction was a much scarier procedure than a root canal, didn't really know why I felt that way but I did, and then as the dentist was trying to extract my tooth out did I realize why it was scarier.

Even though there isn't any pain, there is a massive amount of pressure when it comes to tooth extraction and this isn't something I would know despite having all 4 of my wisdom teeth extracted because I was a pussy then and opted to be placed under general anesthesia. 

The dentist was struggling to yank both my tooth out because of how long the roots were and because my tooth is short at the top, he couldn't find a proper grip and had to keep switching between the different pliers. The amount of pressure I felt was extremely concerning because even though I know the teeth are bad, it just feels weird to be extracting teeth that aren't shaky. The dental assistant had to hold my head while the dentist was slowly but firmly jiggling the tooth out from their socket, it felt like it was going on for way too long and I started questioning if I had gone to the correct dentist since I had only managed to find this dentist out of desperation a few hours ago on the internet, I had a lot of thoughts running through my head. 

But after what felt like eons, both tooth were finally extracted successfully...

... one of them is black on the inside because of the cement that was used to stick the crown on it, but that's how bad the tooth was, I feel like I was euthanizing the tooth during the extraction because it was clearly barely hanging on, and that little chicken leg looking part of the tooth, that is pulpitis and that was what was causing the pain. I don't really know how big a normal pulp is suppose to look, but seeing that lump at the end of my molar was very concerning and it just further justified my decision to do the extraction. The other tooth on the other hand is also in equally bad shape, it's not black on the inside but there were a lot of cracks, which was probably what caused all the sensitivity issue.

I requested to have the teeth but the dentist didn't really want to give them to me because it was not sanitary, he only allowed me to take some pictures, which I didn't take a good picture of, but the roots of my tooth were curved, that's why the extraction was a lot harder. As I have said before, my teeth used to be extremely misaligned so when I did my braces, a lot of shifting was involved and that shifting affected the way the roots of my tooth grew.

I now have 2 huge gap in my mouth, it feels weird, I am not sure if I am going to swell up from the extraction tomorrow because there was really a lot of pressure in the extraction. 

Anyways, the most painful part came towards the end of the procedure when I was given the bill, it came up to a whopping $3,200! That is more than a month's salary, sigh. I suddenly feel lucky that I am actually earning a stable income now because if I was still working at ID4, that $3,200 is going to be a huge damage to my savings. 

A huge bulk of the cost came from the bone grafting that had to be done in preparation for dental implants about a year later, the grafting for both tooth caused $2000, however I am not sure if I will actually go ahead with doing an implant because each implant is going to cost $5000, and I am not ready to shell out $10,000 for two unless I somehow become insanely successful over the next year.

I could've gotten tickets to New York with that money, and I am suddenly missing New York again despite the trip being almost 3 years ago. It would have sucked if I actually got that toothache whilst I  was in New York, would've completely ruined the trip.

A photo of my $1200 zirconium crown. This cost almost as much as my Samsung Z Flip 3. And today's procedure cost as much as me buying a Z Flip 3 and a Galaxy S22 Ultra, the good news is I am going to be getting my commission from my last projects at ID4 this month, so at least my savings will recuperate the losses I had to incur today and if this painful experience has taught me anything, it is that I had need to be grateful for having a job with a stable monthly salary.

Job Interview again.

So I had another job interview set up today and to be honest, it wasn't really an interview I had planned to take very seriously.

Even though I don't enjoy my current job, the stable salary is something I am still not prepared to give up, so I went to the interview today only to listen to what Interior Design companies are offering in terms of commission. The company itself is definitely a company I wouldn't mind working for because they have a very similar design language as me and if the offer was enticing enough, I would consider quitting my current company to join this one.

So the interview was done by the director and my first impression of her was that I didn't like her, it's nothing that she did, but just her general mannerism that rubbed me the wrong way because she just didn't come across as a very friendly and approachable individual. 

When she started talking about the job, she was sharing with me how the company works, what I am expected to do as a designer in their company and I just felt really stifled by the SOP the company had in place, seeing how I had quite a bit of freedom with the way I did things at ID4, I then expressed my thoughts with her company's SOP and told her it felt a bit rigid. I am not sure if she took offense to how I expressed my thoughts but she reiterated that "it isn't rigid to have those SOPs" in place and that was when I decided I didn't want to work under her. 

She is constantly disagreeing with me, when I ask if I could do my own 3D renderings since I have experience doing that, she says no, when I ask if I can use my own sub-cons, she says no, she doesn't even entertain the thought first and just says no to everything. The other ID firms that I have interviewed for would always be open to my style of working, when I ask other ID firms if I can do my own 3D, they will tell me to go ahead as long as it looks similar to what their own 3D Drafters prepare and when I ask if I can use my own sub-con, they would encourage me to introduce them to the company. 

And as if her rigidness isn't bad enough, the commission scheme is worst.

When I was working in ID4, the commission scheme was a 40/60 split, this meant I would get 40% of the profits whilst the company gets 60%.

So just to break down how that would work.

Let's say I managed to clinch a $11,000 project,

Project Cost - $10,000

Total Profit  - $1,000 (10% Profit)

The total project is then split between me and the company, so I get $400 and the company gets $600 base on the 40/60 arrangement.

This new ID firm on the other hand has a 45/55 split, which means I would get 45% of the project whilst the company gets 55% of the project, it sounds better, but there is this additional requirement that states the company will always be taking a commission worth 10% off the project cost regardless of how much the total commission is.

This means that if I were to clinch an $11,000 project.

Project Cost - $10,000

Total Profit - $1,000 (10% Profit)

I don't get any commission because that 10% will be taken by the company as their share.

Let's say a project that I have has a cost price of $30,000. this means the company would automatically pocket $3000 worth of commissions even before the project starts. If I charged the customer $32,000 for the whole project, and I only end up having $2000 worth of profit, I don't get share of that $2000, in fact, I would end up owing the company $1000 because of their commission scheme. 

Out of all the ID companies I have interviewed at, this honestly is one of the worst project sharing scheme I have heard of because you will get punished by the company if your profit margin is below a certain percentage. I guess my search for the next ID firm to join continues!

Not a good VM

Had to go to work today on Hari Raya and this isn't the first time I have had to work during a holiday, but for some reason, being at work today just felt really shitty.

I guess a bit of it had to do with the fact that one of my colleague had indirectly told me that I was not doing a good job as the VM of the store because I wasn't allowing her to sell our Showroom furniture. She was ranting to me about her lack of sales the past few months but her rant somehow ended up targeting me because me not allowing her to sell showroom pieces is apparently a reflection of my capabilities as a VM. 

She has this extremely selfish mentality and the reason I told her why I couldn't let her sell the pieces we have on the Showroom floor is because we do not have similar pieces in the Warehouse to replace those in the store. But she doesn't get it.

When I think of the Showroom in the store, I think of this...

...every piece of furniture in each setting is specially selected to compliment each other, if you sell one piece, you are going to ruin the entire setting. So if you want to sell that sofa, you don't tell me...

.. we have this yellow sofa in the Warehouse that we can use to replace the Showroom sofa. It doesn't match, the size is wrong, the color is wrong, the design is wrong. 

I honestly thinks that the vision she has for the store's Showroom is something like this...

...she has that "whatever we can bring in, we should bring in" mentality because all she wants to do is sell as much pieces as possible so she can get her commission.

She is from the older batch of sales people that still enjoys the commission scheme and the truth is, not a lot of people in the store have a lot of respect for her despite her seniority in the company because she is quite a selfish individual and this was not something I took notice of until I became the store's VM and have to deal with her constant...

"Can I sell this" despite already telling her it cannot be sold" 

...messages, and when I tell her she cannot sell those items because we want it to be displayed, she will complaint to me about her lack of sales and then take that opportunity to tell me that the VM isn't doing a good job.

She is very aware that I am the VM, she just doesn't use the pronoun "you" when expressing her dissatisfaction about me as the VM of the store. 

The reason she thinks the VM isn't a good job is because it's the VM's job to be flexible enough to make the furniture pieces work together if something gets sold off the floor. 

If she wants to sell the 2 seater sofa in the living room setting and all I have left in the Warehouse is a 15 meter Dining Table, it's my job to make that 15 meter dining table work in the living room setting because I am the VM.

Annoying.

Also, I really want to quit and return to Interior Design again because this job is starting to feel very meaningless. I thought becoming the store's VM would change that, but it hasn't, especially when I have to deal with people like her who only thinks about things from her own point of view.