The CNY break has been pretty uneventful.
Compared to the earlier CNY celebrations I had as a kid, I no longer do a lot of house visitations anymore as an adult, I guess now that I am a lot older, it just isn't very nice to drop by a distant relative's place and then expect them to give me a red packet, I could have gotten away with that as a kid, but as a socially awkward adult, it's just really tasteless to go to a house just to get money.
I do still see my direct relatives, but I barely exchange words with any of my cousins because everyone is just really awkward around each other, greeting each other "Happy New Year" is as far as the conversations will go. My cousins are also starting to bring their girlfriends and boyfriends along to the family gathering and it was really awkward when they started introducing their other half to me like I am someone important who should be introduced. I know the introductions are out of courtesy, but it still feels really odd to me, that and the fact that I am almost a decade older than all of them but am still single makes it worst.
I really do not care about getting in a relationship, I never have. The only reason I would want to get into a relationship is to appease the people around me so they will stop asking me questions about when I am getting a girlfriend.
But I digress.
Overall, the food was great, the red packets were great, but the socializing aspect of it was kind of a buzzkill for the entire gathering and I am just going to accept the fact that it is really my fault because I am just really really bad at socializing with my cousins that I see only once a year.
Now that my break is almost over, I can't help but feel stressed out about the upcoming projects that will start right after. The projects that I have are quite different from the ones I have done in the past, that's why I am a little worried about how they will go. I can already foresee all the potential problems that will happen, that's why I am not feeling great about them at all.
I'm always anticipating that stage during the renovation when my clients will make a 180 and become really unbearable, it's definitely not a good thing to be constantly expecting them to get upset during the renovation because I just don't think it is normal, but the sad truth is almost all the clients I had worked with did eventually reach a stage during the renovation when they just start to express their disappointment with a lot of things because a lot of times, they have this extremely unrealistic expectation of everything being perfect, of all the works done by my contractors to be faultless, that no hairline scratch marks should be expected on anything, that no walls should have even the slightest streak of uneven paint marks, that Santa Clause is real and unicorns fart rainbows.
One time, I tried to manage of potential client's expectation by sharing with her what could possibly go wrong and she ended up getting super paranoid about everything, she wanted to engage me because we had a good chemistry , but at that point, I have already created this paranoid nut-bag out of her. so I eventually rejected her request to engage me and we didn't end on a good note, I pretty much ignored her final text because she tried to guilt trip me for turning her down.
Not sure how my post CNY projects will fare, feeling really pessimistic about them at this point, FML.
1. The first project I have an issue with because I have never done a project like it before, there are a lot of moving parts in the project that I have never personally experienced before and the clients will be staying in the place during the renovation, which makes it worst. They also need the house to be completed by a certain date because they have an overseas trip planned straight after the renovation is done, and the deadline is one of many factors that worries me. I have never been great at keeping to the schedule, a lot of my projects end up taking a lot more time to complete and I am worried that this will face the same problem.
2. The second project is actually pretty straightforward, but my clients are first time homeowners and from the many consultations I have had with them, they are extremely excited about their new home and their excitement is reminiscent of the very first couple I worked with. My first clients were so excited with their new space that when it came to the actual renovation, they were nitpicking every single thing, it was insane, looking back, I am just so happy that I am done with the project, that being said, I actually really like them, I just did not like working with them. I have a feeling I won't enjoy working with this couple as well.
3. The third project is like a charity case, I feel like I don't even have the luxury of worrying how little I can earn because I am not sure if I will be earning anything at all, on the contrary, I might actually be helping my company make a loss from the project. Always a first time for everything, this project may in fact very well get me fired.
Well, I only have about a week left of complete freedom, it was a nice few months of freedom, but by this time next week, I shall be returning back to my daily scheduled stress induced lifestyle and probably have more stuff to blog about, might even go back to contemplating about quitting again.
The thing about me quitting is, it will happen eventually, I just don't know when yet. It is better to be employed and earning a little than to be unemployed and not earning at all. I have settled for way too many jobs in the past and those never ever last, so when I finally choose to quit, I want to make sure I have found the right job that I won't resign from mere weeks or even days later before doing so.
